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I just wrote a whole entry which was promptly deleted. Awesome.
I have arrived safe and sound in Kampala. I almost didn't get out of JFK due to an unfortunate Delta Airlines policy that states that one must have the credit card they booked their ticket with with them at the airport into order to check in to discourage credit card fraud. That is all fine and good - except that I didn't have the card with me.
This lead to a two hour ordeal in which I talked to a number of Delta employees trying to convince them to either skip over the check (who was going to know anyway) or to refund and re-sell the ticket to me on a credit card I had with me. The supervision informed this could be done but the ticket would have to be priced as of that day, making it $11,000. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
In my desperation I tried to make myself cry on the spot. Easier said than done. After about a minute of trying to think of sad moments, and then channeling James Franco's instructions in his "Learn to Act" video on Funny or Die, I gave up. Dry eyed I briefly flirted with the idea of vomiting on the but nixed that on the basis it would probably be counter productive and would be generally an unpleasant experience for all. I then threw down the "I'm going to do a human rights internship" which got half a smile but didn't budge the morale of the hardened Delta supervisor who a minute before told a guy who arrived 3 minutes after his flight closed (being an hour before it takes off) because of a CAR ACCIDENT that he should book a new ticket because she wouldn't check him in. After 30 minutes of waiting and then another 10 trying to reason with her that the credit card was clearly not fraudulently used it was purchased 3 months ago and the the Visa bill has already been paid she started to walk away. In a panic I reverted to my 5 year old self, earth shatteringly high pitched voice and all, with the lovely addition of my darkest shade of the bitch face rainbow. Fearing what seemed to be the exponentially increasing pitch of my voice, the supervision typed a bunch of stuff into the computer and directed me to ticketing where a woman who can only be described as an angel sorted out the issue in less than five minutes and checked me into the flight with 2 minutes to spare. Also, the other ticketing employee managed to get the car accident guy on his plane by reasoning that because the flight was delayed by half an hour, his hour cut off had not elapsed. Moral of the story - if you ever have an issue go to ticketing. Also, I need to learn how to cry on the spot.
The rest of the journey was thankfully uneventful. I flew to Amsterdam and from there onto Entebbe. In the Amsterdam airport I had to evoke all of my will power to stop from buying the showstopping amazing deal that was all over the airport - SOFT ORANGE LION CLOGS for only 12.95 (see photo). Seriously. As much as I need a pair of those I held back. I know, I know, my willpower is really something to be reckoned with. I did waiver when it came to the bottle of diet Fanta. Can't say no to that.
The guy on the plane next to me was a lovely pastor from Virginia who spent the first hour of the flight preaching the merits of Jesus as the salvation of populations and that tea-partiers were really just good people who had voted for Obama but then were turned off by his lack of transparency in "socializing" health care. He then guessed that I was a Catholic. Not so much. At that point I excused myself to read David Sedaris (which lead to some awkward moments as I struggled to stifle hysterical laughter) and he excused himself to read the Bible. And some self-help books on podcasting. I pity those who are subjected to any of his podcasts. As I walked to the washroom halfway through the flight I noticed that at least a quarter of the people on the plane were reading the Bible. Awesome.
Anyway, I arrived and so did my luggage which apparently is quite lucky. I went into the office this morning for a security briefing and to meet some of the staff. So far so good - I start for real on Monday.
Until then I need to find a place to live and get a cell phone set up. I look forward to buying a SIM card for a $1 unlike the $30 rip off in Canada.
I hope you are all enjoying your summers!
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Jill
non-member comment
You should be a comedy writer