The final goodbye to Moshi... I promise

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Hello again for the second time this week - I think I am beginning to spoil you!

I think now as the time I am leaving is perhaps the time to reflect on my past (almost) two months. A lot of people have asked me, “Do you feel your experience has changed you in anyway?” I have been contemplating my answer to this somewhat clichéd question. One that now reminds me of a comedian at Glastonbury festival where he comments on young travelers going off to ‘find themselves,’ which he then says, “imagine traveling 2000 miles and finding out that you’re a complete tw-t” or words to that effect. That made me giggle. In conclusion no, I don't feel this experience has changed me AS A PERSON as I would like to think I was pretty impassioned about alot of things before I arrived. I would say however that some of my VIEWS have changed on a few things like volunteering for example. I've started questioning whether voluntering is a sustainable answer to some of Africa's problems. As some people like myself come out here with te best intentions and willingness to help and make a positive change, how much can one really do within a space of a couple of months and what happens when I leave? I myself feel content with what i've managed in the last two months. Margeret and Sophia have both commented on how far the kids have come with the reading and writing of English (perhaps this is because of me running round the garden as a chicken to demonstrate what it is in English??) So in this sense I am satisfied but I think the next time I would like to come and do something for at least 6 months to be able to see something that I have put so much energy into blossom and grow - even though I am exhausted even after just 2 months! Another question that bothers me is that is the intention of some volunteers. Having met many many volunteers both from the hostel and large scale organisations I have seen a diverse mix of effort and reasoning for coming out here. I have seen first hand with the girl at KiliKids how some people work. She used to just stick a DVD on and then go and sunbathe in the garden. Is this useful? To come in for a few hours a day and justify it as helping orphans? I feel like with people like this it almost seems as the volunteering is a form of self indulgence so they can say 'I changed the world' or whatever without actually DOING anything. It verges on the border of being a hinderence rather than a help and what qualifies someone as a hinderence or a help? There is no filtering system to this type of volunteering and what happens when you receive a lazy person from a big organisation, can you really ask them to leave? I think in these cases it would be wise to have an interviewing process even if just to see whether the person is a criminal? What I also started to think if I stayed longer and some changes I would think were beneficial to the orgnaistion what authority or right would I have to make a change which perhaps alot of people living under the african culture might not agree with and so get stuck and unable to get some sort of ball rolling. These are just a few things that I wasn't aware of about volunteering before I came, the volunteering mentality if you like.

I would like to say also that this in no way means my experience has faultered in any way its just a few observations. I feel incredibly lucky and privileged to experience such a wealth of insight into Africa already and I feel there couldn't have been a better beginning to start off my gap year with a bang!

Tomorrow Sophia told me that KiliKids is having a proper christmas party which Alice and I should come to which of course I will be attending. Any excuse to see the kids one last time. We will then pack up our things and have dinner in this hotel which apparently has the best vief of Kilimanjaro and sunset before heading off to Zanzibar at the unearthly hour of 6a.m. We will arrive in Zanzibar that evening to be met by cousin James at the port - how exciting! I shall try and update you next weekend although I've heard that internet is more expensive in Zanzibar much like eveything else!

Speak to you soon! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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