We fought the law... and the law won (2-1 so far)

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Knysna... i believe thats where i left things last time. a typically touristy place, with t-shirts and mugs ablazoned with the "I (heart) Knysna" slogan. this fact alone means that the place is pretty average again, and not really what we're looking for. do a trip to the Knysna Heads, which is nice enough, small party in the eve and then ready the next day to get the bus down to Mossel Bay. not sure if i mentioned in the previous blog, but Kristen has caught up with me (in Plett), so we are now following a pretty similar route again down the Garden Route.

Mossel Bay; another delightful trip on the Bus to Mossel Bay, arrive at the backpackers, get off to a pretty bad start with the woman behind the desk. not sure how, but i think i managed to offend her?! drop bags in room, and decide to look for things to do. small brochure on the table in communal area. flick through, and as Great White Shark diving is now out of season (basically the island they do it next to (Seal ISland) is about 200 metres from the main swimming beach in the town, and they don't want white sharks going AWOL as there are no shark nets!!!!), we picked a trip to Oudtshoorn. several arguements with reception later, we decided best option is to hire a car and drive ourselves there.
arrive in Oudsthoorn, famous for it's caves and Ostrich farms, and head straight for the Cango Caves. massive underground network, where you can pick the normal tour or the "adventure tour". being the super fly guy that i am, i inform Kristen that we are doing the adventure tour, which, according to the brochure is not for fatties! Starts off pretty tame, then gets pretty low, and tight. think the smallest gap to get through was the "letterbox", a 20cm high place where you have to leopard crawl to, then slide down some rock the other side. "Devil's Chimmney" is also a tricky, upward, diagonal climb where it narrows off to about 40cm. 90% humidity in this part of the caves, so good to get back out and head down to the Animal place where they have some big cats and also the crocodiles. Ostritch and crocodile kebabs first, then to the tour. first visit some birds and what not, before the crocs and cats. as the money goes back into the Cheetah Foundation, myself and Kristen decided we would do the extra bits of the tour which mean you can go in with the tigers, cheetahs and the crocs! Cats were beatufil, and we got about 20 mins in each enclosure as we were last in and oh so charming. pictures say it all really... the crocs slightly diff story, felt like i was in a James Bond movie as we were lowered in the cage into the croc pool! they didnt seem to fazed, so we resorted to splashing them and a lil prod on the tail! Splash a Croc!!!! what is that about! great experience! drive back, same old.. amazing views and sunset...

Cape Town; managed to bag myself a seat on the bazbus even though full, arrive in Cape Town on a sat night, so that means a party night. went out with a couple of Brits and some dutch that i'd met further up in Plettenberg Bay. major hangover next day, and go to meet Gareth at his, ahem, Hotel. i've seen Hotels, never been in one... chill at the V&A waterfront with some lunch and a beer or two, similar story the next day. move into his hotel for a night, and up early the next day for our plane back to Durban.

Durban; leave Cape Town (sunny), arrive Durban (raining). great start. pick up the car which we are assured is a 4x4 (this info is relevant later). its a knackered out Nissan X-trail, less than a year old apparently! head north towards Swaziland, not sure how far we'll get, but we try anyway. enter Swaziland, another stamp on the passport. very old system, and a pain, but evetually make it through. start driving, head to a place called Big Bend, where there is a hotel for food and drink. weirdly enough, they sell Pickled Onions, so we buy a jar of "Mrs B's Pickled Onions"! onwards to Swaziland Backpackers, where we book a Kruger Safari for the next day. only prob is its 5:30pm, and we need to drive another few hundred Km's to get to Nelspruit where it leave the next morn at 5:30am!

Kruger National Park; we get picked up from Hostel, driven to Kruger and start our safari that morning. quick brekkie after first drive, then back out for rest of day. even though we drive non-stop pretty much ALL day, we cover a mere corner of the park. see some big stuff, 4 out of the big 5 (missing Leopards) and get some great piccies. the camp we stay in is one corner of the park, and its kind or protected (the gates shut at 7pm), but animals have been known to get in and roam about. we book a morning WALK in the park for the next day (with men with guns), but still managed to get pretty hammered in the campsite. bleary eyed, back on the safari bus to our walk. 2 men with guns accompany us, one at the front, one at the back right?? NO, BOTH AT THE FRONT!! and i'm the stupid bugger, at the back, carrying the breakfast's for the group in a bag on my back! only end up seeing Rhino's on the walk, luckily these weren't charging ones. "they're more scared of us...." yeah right!!

Mozambique; after morning walk, we get back to hostel by about 10 am, then head off to drive through Mozambique to Sodwana Bay for some diving. we end up giving a lift to an Argentine girl staying with friends in Maputo. the border is even more of a hassle than Swaziland; after about 1.5 hours we make it through. roads are empty, and we avg about 160kph to Maputo, drop off the girl and then go to the ferry that takes us across to the road we need. sit in the queue for another 1.5 hours, by now about 3pm. i ask the guy in car behind if this is the right ferry, he tells me yes, but the border closes at 5pm. bugger. apparently the drive to it takes about 2-3 hours, so we think we'll give it a stab anyway. driving the 20 m onto the ferry, Gareth doesn't wear his seatbelt. big mistake in Mozambique it would seem! he gets taken to the bridge of the ferry by the POlice, and eventually has to pay them off 300 Rand (18-20 quid) to avoid the big fine and going to the Police Station.
on the road, all other 4x4's dodge the dirt and mud puddles while we aim for them hoping to get our car the dirtiest it could be. these are the sort of holes that when you drive through, you get bumped out of your seat and hit the roof. add to that i'm trying to make a sandwich and have a drink... we also decided that it would be fun to swap from driving to passenger position while still driving. unfortunately, taking pictures of this was deemed too dangerous, but we did it! twice! we enter a spot of sand, driving gets harder, but we keep ploughing on. LITTERALLY! we end up ploughing soo much sand, the car comes to a halt, in the middle of no where. no other cars, not even sure if we are on the right road as no signs either! then we discover that only the front wheels spin. this is not a 4x4. F**K!!!! looking for something to dig us out with, i see some alarmingly large prints in the ground, we realise we may now be in an elephant reserve of some kind! just as it gets dark, and we are no closer to being anywhere apart from deeper and burning out the clutch, the guy i was talking too in the Ferry Q comes along! he tows us out, books us a hotel in Ponta Du Oura, and leads the way there!!!! 2 hours after being stuck, we have fillet steaks in our belly and beers in our hands and booked dives for the morning! Top Banana. wake the next day, and realise i should have checked my Mozzi Net, been bitten to buggery on my arm!
dive the next day, and doesn't compare to red sea. on returning to the beach, we nearly manage to wipe out a family with the RIB. they drive them straight up onto the tourist beach, at least some laws here are lax...

Sodwana Bay; leaving Mozambique, we get stuck again! bored of this now! find a place to stay, meet up with Carla (fellow diving instructor from Clapham here with family), have a few beers and have a braai at her lodge. diving the next day was nice enough, but not mind blowing. we rock south again, heading back to Umkomaas so we can do Tiger Shark dives hopefully. Viz soo bad, most diving seems to be off, let alone Tigers. we manage to get one dive in, and so end up drinking a lot of beer. tip; don't drink and then ride a car on the roof, its dangerous. silly, silly boy!

Lesotho; we couldn't get a 4x4 after lots of argueing, so think we'll try lesotho anyway. we drive upto the Sani Pass which is a notorious drive through the highest points in southern Africa, only to be attempted by real 4x4's. on arriving, 2 things stop us. 1; its a law that ONLY 4x4's may attempt the drive, and 2; its was 10 past 5 and the border shut at 5! bugger again. we also realised that we'd left some diving kit at Umkomaas, so we drive back towards there. 300km ish later, and we are still an hour from Umkomaas. stop for the night, we'll get it tomorrow.

Lesotho take 2; we pick up dive stuff, and then head for ANOTHER border crossing. get to the last town in SA before the crossing to re-fuel and have a break. return to car, and the traffic policeman wants a word. i get a 300 Rand fine for parking facing oncoming traffic. doh! makes sense i guess, but had no idea! i plead with him, resorting to the line "I'm British...". he appologises (knows his place, good chap), and tells me to take the ticket to this guy at the station who will cancel it. i take it to this guy, who was more interested in eating off the Braai at the station then talking to me. he preaches to me about the law being the same in Britain, and as i want to hold onto my license for now, i keep stum and the fine goes down to 100rand (6 quid).
we drive upto the border, stopping for a glass of wine in some stunning scenery. cross the border, (easy), and start driving. we have no plan at this point, so bascially point the car and drive... after a few hours, im back in the driving seat, and we approach a "Police Stop" sign. its in the middle of the road, the Police are about 20 metres away in a lay-by. i slow right down, spot them and drive upto them. hand brake on, wind down the window, say hi and get greeted with "you're now under arrest...". double F**K! apparently i was meant to stop BY the sign, not where they were! he reads me a version of my rights, something along lines of "you can talk, but if you do talk, we might write it down. and we might use it against you". i am now in his custody, and Gareth is free to go. no phone reception, day before Xmas eve. he tells me i must go to a cell, and the judge can release me tomorrow when i go to court. we more or less beg him, pleading ignorance, and start to prepare some money to buy him off. he chats to his mate, comes back and asks us how long have we been in the country. after telling him "3 hours", he took a bit of pity, said we had learnt a lesson, and released me! PHEW! after that, we drive slow and stop at every sign! the country is beautiful, see the pics! stunning landscape, but you really need more time to explore by foot. head for the border again, don't like being arrested! we decide to motor on to our Christmas destination, a mere 300km south, and its 10pm.

East London; our Chrsitmas stop. we are staying with the German girls i met in Coffee Bay, Verena and Heike. they are house sitting. so its great to be in a place with a sofa and tv! anyone who has travelled will know what i mean... Xmas eve is a quiet affair with some wine and a BBQ, xmas day; no pressies to open! its spent on the beach! feels pretty strange to be there, but in a way also pretty damned cool. chill in a nice lagoon with a ripping current and get a lil pinking done. for the evening meal, we go to the house of some people the girls used to work for. this house is serious! think Sandbanks kind of serious! a huge kitchen where Dion is preparing huge Crayfich, calamari, a lamb dish, paella etc etc etc. bottomless wine to accompany! we have the house tour before dinner, down to the party room, where there is a bar, a wine cellar (proper with air con) a pizza oven, then out to the pool with a waterfall running into it, accross the decking and down to a hot tub with views over the bay! amazing place for a xmas away from home! this guys even has grapes flown up from Stellenbosch and he makes his own wine. 8 barrels sit down in his wine making room! after dinner, Gareth gets his drunken nods (steve, mark you know what i mean), and he goes to sleep in a guest room while the rest of us stay and drink more wine!
Boxing Day, back to the house where the PIzza oven is fired up and we dine on more amazing food and wine! thats boxing day done!

Plettenberg Bay; we leave the girls, drive through Jeffrey's Bay again, and arrive in PLett about 6:30pm. we didnt book anywhere, but loads of places so we'll find somewhere.
10:30pm, we head back up the road 160km to stay with my friend Lise at her family's place by the river. no beds in Plett. bugger.

try again; we leave and drive down route 62 i think, a scenic route. through the tricky and winding alfred pass, to knysna again, and then back to plett for night in the nicest hostel soo far. met some Brits, went drinking.

Hermanus; big drive, another all dayer. we stop at Cape Aghullus on the way, the southern most point of Africa and take some pics, then carry on to Gareth's aunt and uncle's. they retired out here 3 years ago, and have a beautiful house. it looks like something from New England, pastel blues and whites, really nice. seafood restaurant for dinner. a la carte restaurant, which in the uk would easily be 50 a head. here its less than 15 for 3 course! check out the beach the following day, and then head to Cape Town.

Betty's Bay; a colony of Jackass penguins live here, so makes for some good pics and a laugh. unfortunately you can't get too near them but they are good fun. the drive to Cape Town is another scenic coastal jobby, and we arrive at about 5 ish. NEW YEAR STILL TO COME.

long but hope it's still entertaining and not too many mistakes! xxxxxxxx

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Photos

Cango Caves
we were late for the tour, so running!