PANGA!!

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Something isn't right...I'm in bed...which bed...Virginia...no....theres a spring poking in my back...smells damp...whattha..ohh....right...Africa. Morning?...no. night. why the hell am I awake?...its quiet...damn thats uncomfortable...what is?...stomach...no..."lower left quadrant"..wait....awwwww MO-THER-FU.....where my headlamp...not here...WOW..no time...wheres the toilet paper? on the fridge!...where?...too dark..HERE!!...no thats deodorant..there!! on the floor!! Get it...got it...no shoes..who cares...outside!!!

COLD!

I'm awake at this point..never has my mind been more focused on the "goal" at hand. I take a sharp left out of my room and spot the bathroom door slightly right-diagonal across the couryard from me. I try walking..doubled over clutching my stomach...I force myself to stand more upright and walk a little faster...halting brisk walk quickly making the transition to all out olympic sprint...had a timelapse photographer been present to document it would have surly looked like a sketch of humanity's progression from Ape to Man...

I am half way across the courtyard and realize I am not alone. The care taker's dog....Wanted by sanitation workers all over south africa for assaulting trashcans in the dead of night, is standing over his latest victim with his eyes glued to me. His lucky night. First a trashcan of half eaten food and now a frantic Makouah (White person). He takes off on an intercept course. I've seen him nip at the heals of others...and seen him full out attack another dog.This is not your neigbors golden retreiver. This dog ranks slightly below Junkyard. He is in the mood to play.

I am not.

My foot catches "Spot's" right Jowl as I unleash a stream of explicatives that in polite parlance could be interpreted as "I'd love to stay in dally but I really must use the lavatory." Spot rolls away with a whine and a howl...I don't break pace but take a stride or two to bask in my primal victory..man over beast.....until I rememebr my primal defeat...bacteria over man

Bathroom in 10 feet...5 feet...3...haha...made it.


15 min later..back in my room...found the head lamp...found my bag-o-pills...I fiddle with the bottles...first two are my anti-HIV medications...defintly realize my situation could be alot worse..feel a little better...next is the malaria meds...someone should tell Student Health its the middle of freaking winter in South Africa...I put the unused pills aside...and there is my saving grace...Cipro 500mg "Take twice a day as needed for Traveler's Diarrhea." I read it again. 'Traveler's diarrhea." Sounds so quaint...should have said "Take twice a day as needed for Earth shaking bowel explosions of such force, advocates of peace and harmony will be moved to kick dogs in the face."


I realize I've been focusing on Number 2 here for the last couple of posts...what can I say...an Enlgish teacher tols me "write what you know" I promise I'll work to expand my horizons for future posts.


Love and miss you all


Jimmy

OH and Panga means "Crazy" in Tshivenda.

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Comments

[George W]

night of horror
I thought for a moment you were going to be testing the Bio-Digester and trying to out do the cows. Any way take care

[David Kalergis]

Reminder
Note to self: "When checking emails over Breakfast, skip over Heckman's Blog and read at a later time." Sounds like a crazy experience Jim. Be safe bud.

[Dan Weitzel]

Nothin like the shits
Sounds like some good stories are in the making. I think I saw something similar in your car when I cleaned it out.