Elephants, Lions, Zebra and then some

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As the first few clumps came out, I got my camera in position for the fascinating sight of an elephant really pushing it. It seemed so forceful that I was surprised he didn’t pass out. As I snapped up a photo of an elevated tail with three connecting pearls of yellow poo leaving his butt. I noticed urine flushing out, to create a pee pool near his back legs. Following that, a fascinating fart that created elephant arse rupture. (!) This wonderful turn of events was finalised with a massive erection walk off. Most people watching walked off too on the sight of this 5th leg, but not us. We were embracing this wonderful incite into nature. Gosh Etosha National Park was something else and the elephant arse rupture was just one of multiple great moments.

Etosha is 4 hours north of Namibia’s capital Windhoek. Late October is the perfect time to come here. Dry season, means water is scarce and with such a small park with such a great number of diverse animals means superb game viewing. You can spend a fortune on a tour or go it on your own and drive around (the same designated paths for all) and spend as long as you like viewing uninterrupted.

We spent about 27 hours in the park. Entering from the northeast at Von Lindequist Gate just after sunrise. We missed the turn off originally and got stopped at a checkpoint. This eccentric policeman goes “License please!” I show it and he says “Oh WOW! Andrew! You’re from Australia! Wow!” (pause) “Oh wow! Look at the pretty flower on your license!” Emarn said she hates it. Policeman says, “Oh are you joking there is a beautiful rose (Waratah) on it.”

A butchy policewoman approaches and says with intimidation “LICENSE PLEASE!” Policeman says, “Here look, what a pretty license. It’s a beautiful flower. Hey Andrew, where are you trying to go?” “Etosha” “Oh well Andrew you missed the turn off. Its 23km back and turn right on the only tarred road. Okay Andrew. You can do a u-turn there… Okay Andrew, Bye!” No look of corruption, brilliant.


Back to the park - The idea for Etosha was to camp at the southern of the 3 campsites (Okaukuejo.) Prior info suggested that you should pre book everything but outside busy periods that’s not the case. We asked at the east office and she said, “booked out.” But like a lot of African office workers in tourism, you can’t take their word for it unless they look like they have worked for the response. A lot of the time it’s an answer so you can go away and they don’t have to work.

I left saying “Well we can’t take her word for it. Lets risk it.” So we spent most of the day easing our way south stopping when necessary. In Etosha that is basically straightaway. Before a minute was up we stopped to see Zebra, Impala and springbok grazing.

When we stopped to view a large group of zebra I dared Emarn to jump out of the car and roar like a lion and see what the zebra do. Unfortunately we didn’t pack any Wizard of Oz costumes and didn’t build up our courage.

There are not many elevated points on the park but Halali Rest Camp provides that. Apart from the campsite, there is just the site of trees and the Etosha Pan in the distance. A dry land mass that stretches far.

Trees aren’t too common though, mostly its open plains with watering holes scattered around. These watering holes (ponds) are limited and the sight of a group of elephants crossing the road meant they were on a mission. It was around 1030am so it was heating up and within a minute we see a turnoff to a watering hole. Springbok and impala were there ready to get in the way of my photos. So to zebra and giraffe roaming around and drinking.

Than elephants arrived. I found their actions interesting as it varied to their actions in Chobe 3 months ago. Whereas there, they used the water to cool down and the dirt to dry off. In Etosha they would use the mud of the water to cool down to compensate for the lack of water. Some tried to bathe by rolling around, whilst another went stomping on the mud for it to rise to the body.

Oryx were seen throughout. They have these incredibly long horns that veer towards the back. There were ostrich and wildebeest too. But come the middle of the day there is not much action and the limited trees were used as shelter from the scorching sun. We passed impala shading in a lonesome thorny tree. We stopped in front of them and you can see on their face they are thinking. “Oh God this is dangerous… What’s this car want from me? I should go. Oh no it’s so hot outside. If I die now I die in the shade.”

With no A/C come midday the heat outside ovens the car to a mild simmer. We just drove with the intent to get to the campsite when we came across another watering hole. This one was nearly dried out with some depressed looking elephants all dusted up from the white powdered dirt of the ground. No mud to cool down for these guys. They stood still like statues to conserve energy in hope that another hot day would come to an end. One elephant was so over it he rested his trunk on his tusk.

Eventually we made it to Okaukuejo and the campsite there was pimped out with a pool, bar, restaurant and watering hole site. As nothing really happens during the day we spent it in the pool, setting up the tent and me trying to get the dust out of my camera.

Timing was good (just got the dust out of my camera) when Emarn came to get me and inform that two elephants are 15m from the campsite and right on top of our tent. They were chomping away on dead thorny plants that surely have limited nutrients. So close we were, you could hear the hollow sound of every crunch to an unsatisfying decent to an empty stomach. I would later call this food the elephant’s aphrodisiac.

As I was making some wise crack to Emarn a lady viewing “shh” ’d me. Now I understand where she was coming from but what I don’t understand is if you make the “shh” call than don’t make it louder than the thing you are “shh”ing.

A small group of tourists had gathered around the wired fence and a sight that happened quite regularly in Namibia happened here. A guy most likely European decided that it was fashionably acceptable to wear Speedos and a shirt whilst taking a photo. Tourists aren’t the fittest people going around. But definitely a look for my future years!

This elephant campsite scene was our second glimpse of elephant arse rupture (confirming our first sight earlier in the day) and it was such a display of rippling arse movement I almost clapped him off for a spectacular show. But after being shhh’d to silence moments earlier I refrained from doing so. Instead we went for an afternoon drive in the park to see hopefully a chase or kill. Unfortunately it didn’t happen and the only stuff up of all of Namibia occurred at sunset.

At the campsite the watering hole is perfectly positioned with a fenced off viewing area for sunset. We got there probably 5 mins too late but still got an idea. Later that night Rhino went drinking (around 9pm) Again loud “SHHH” calls occurred, not at me this time.

The gates to the campsites open and close at sunrise and sunset so that meant a 630 morning departure and we were the second car to leave. It is always wise to talk to the guides from the tour buses to see if they have any tips. We were told that 10-15km down one road there were lions late yesterday. So the odds are they should be there in the morning.

We agreed we’d go as far back as the watering hole of the depressed elephants fame. We are the first to arrive and get prime viewing spot to a pride of lions. Two young lions were playing games ankle tapping (or paw tapping) the back leg of the other with their front paw. This would instigate a game of wrestling or jumping in the air together.

A pause and 2 cubs come along and with the playful ones they go together for a drink. This triggers the main lion to join in from his distant position on the plain. He takes a long drink lasting minutes without rest. Once satisfied he walks off and proceeds to take a crap - Job done! It was the most active I have seen lions in the wild and closest around 30m.

We left soon after around 830 to leave the park. In our way were a group of Guinea Foul (or Kenny-Dowel’s). We got passed them at a slow pace. Around the next bend a group of around 200 zebra are trotting up the road in a slow stampede towards our car. We stop and appreciate.

Already Etosha satisfies your Zebra needs. But this march towards the watering hole (a different watering hole to where the lions were) was just amazing. It was like they were in a parade with some in the back either fighting or playing. Jumping in the air as the group divided themselves to either side of our car to pass.

Chobe had ruggedness about it. But the landscape of open fields and watering holes strategically placed throughout the tracks. Combined with the diversity of animals and the numbers of each variety means Etosha provides that artistic impression of what a tranquil African safari is all about.

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