How do you convince parents you'll be safe?

Hi,
Easy, tell her you'll be in touch as often as you can...and have a nice journal she can follow on this blog...it's only a question of getting her 'used"to your travelling.

Safety is very relative....I've got a friend who is a regular to places like Afghanistan and Iraq...and guess what...he was on the beach in Phuket during the Tsunami, and in the restaurant were the last bomb exploded in Bali in 2005...at the exact time of the bomb...didn't get hurt...but hey, isn't Phuket or Bali supposed to be safe...

We all have our time, it's just a question of being reasonnable... Reply to this

I think it helps if you can show her that you take your safety seriously. I leave a copy of my travel insurance and a copy of my passport with my father. A blog on travelblog also helps. In addition to that, if it is going to be a few weeks between blogs I send emails and text messages. If I know I am going to be somewhere remote where none of those options are possible, I let people know in advance.

Some people will worry though whatever you do. Reply to this

Parents are parents...they always will be.

How do you tell your families you're leaving behind that you're off to some exotic place that isn't perfectly safe (like home)?

As have many, I went through this whole process leading up to (and during) my travels last year. There's no magic answer to this. In the end...they'll still worry. So you go and do your best to convince them that you'll be fine. Good on ya for still going where you want to go though.

What folks have said above is basically the way to go:

-Use common sense.
-Limit the inebriation when in places you're not familiar with and when you're not with people who truly care about you
-Communicate your plans and whereabouts regularly...unless those plans and whereabouts are dangerous. In the latter case, tell them after the fact. And...do your best to communicate the fact that the places you go are generally safe.
-Multiple forms of currency (US cash, ATM, credit card, travelers checks)...so you'll never be stuck w/o money.
-Be aware of your situation, location, news, or whatever is appropriate for the area...and behave accordingly.

I think it helps friends/family feel a little more secure about your travels if they know you have good plans like the above. Sadly, I think many people have misconceptions about much of the world and safety. When I got home from Africa, I surprised someone when I corrected him that everyone in Africa isn't actually walking around with a machine gun. This is one of the great things about travel and blogging about it - we can learn for ourselves and help others to see more of the world and what it is really like.

As for "some exotic place that isn't perfectly safe (like home)?" Home can be just as dangerous as anywhere else. I live in Chicago (nice Mid-Western America....safe!) and there are areas of Chicago that I don't go to. I'd feel less safe in some places 5 miles from home than I would in most of the places I went in the last year. That's not to say Chicago is dangerous...rather I just generally didn't feel unsafe while traveling. Though I'm not sure if that's because it truly was safe or because I think I'm indestructible...

If you find that magic answer for loved ones, I'm curious to hear it.

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I posted a similar question on the TT forum before I went and one of the people responded harshly, basically making fun of me thinking that if I was asking this question I must still be living at home and be incapable of doing anything without my parents say-so, etc. I really don't see any problem with being concerned about the feelings of family & trying to ease their worry. Reply to this

Get her on the road also....My parents live in Europe, I live in Shanghai....and over the last 12 months...we've since each other at some point, somewhere...in 10 calender months....earth is becoming such a small place.... Reply to this

Christopher, I'm 36 and when I shared my plans I had much the same response. Parents will be parents and while I get frustrated with my mom at times and ask her if she thinks I actually didn't think about some of the concerns she raised. On the other hand, it is on some level nice that someone in the world worries enough about you to raise concerns - it would be a little harder to think nobody in the world cares if you are alive or dead. I would remember this if anyone tries making fun of you for raising the question, and as Marc pointed out I see nothing wrong with caring enough about your family that you worry about their worries.

Everyone else has answered much of what I would answer, so I won't be too redundant. When I got impassioned pleas from my stepdad basically trying to talk me out of going to Ecuador, Panama and Nicaragua (while knowing I would do what I was going to do), he talked about quitting a job would bring financial ruin, and then also about safety in all these countries that supposedly hate Americans. While some may not care for the government, I cannot think of one time I personally got anti-American treatment - and I was down in Ecuador during the whole Colombia crossing into Ecuador debacle.

The only thing I might add is to register your trip with the US State Department (if you're an American, I couldn't quite determine from your post, but perhaps another government agency). I registered with the State Department, though have been somewhat lax on keeping it up to date. Be sure if you do you tell them they can share information with your parents, and then let your parents know. That will help...beyond that you simply have to go and just stay in touch until they realize you will be as okay abroad as anywhere else, including home. Like Marc pointed out, there are plenty of risks at home. While Minneapolis maybe doesn't match some of the bad neighborhoods of Chicago, there are some neighborhoods I wouldn't go walking in Minneapolis or St. Paul. Furthermore, I always say "when God calls you home, there's no bargaining for five more minutes..." - another way of saying what Pierre more or less said. And it won't matter where you are at that time... Reply to this

I agree, it's always better not to tell them about my plans of travelling. Reply to this

I'm glad that this topic has been handled in a mature and sensible way 😊 - if someone loves you they will worry about you - it's natural - and if you are a person with any level of empathy you'll want to minimise that worry.

Things that are key in my opinion are to maintain contact - if you are away from the internet or telephones for any length of time - let your family know in advance - they won't worry as much - if there is a possibility that you may be away - also let them know about the possibility.

But also at the same time it's best not to tell everything; I try not to tell my Mum when I fly exactly - as she has a fear of flying and might lie awake at night worrying about it. (also bungy jumping, sky diving, scuba diving at first, actually - quite a lot of things 😉)

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Chris,

It´s great that this is something you are aware of as I think sometimes as travellers we can forget how people worry at home when we are having the time of our lives!! My mum is a serious worrier too and has a weird kindof 6th sense when it comes to me!! When something does happen I try to call her as soon as possible and let her know I am fine. I also tend to tell her after the event of something that I know she will worry about, i.e., skydiving, even though I think walking across the road in Hanoi is more dangerous!!

I make sure she I communicate with her at least every few days whether that is by text message (which she can´t reply to!!!) or email (I send it to my brother or sister and ask them to pass on the message as she doesn´t have computer access), also lots of postcards. I´ve even send some smail mail to her as this is how she likes to communicate and I can´t expect her to onlt keep in touch with my by email (the easiest way for a traveller)

I love skype as it is a cheap way to call her landline and talk for as long as I want from most internet cafes I visit. It´s also really cheap. I tend to call once per week but not on a set day incase I can´t get to a cafe and she starts to think the worst!

I got her a world map before I left and she has been keeping track of my progress. The other thing is to get other people to talk about me to her all the time, like talking through her fears about certain places & sharing those with other people. She has also been able to read alot of books about places I´ve been from our local library and that has helped her understanding of places.

Try to think about how your mum would like you to communicate with her and do it that way, this means she will probably worry less and then your trip will be even better!

Safe and happy travels.
Sarah


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