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Published: April 27th 2013
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Bishnoi Village:
Wow wow wow! Where do we begin? So we are now out of the city completely, experiencing rural life in the home of an incredibly hospitable working family (traditional occupation: weavers). We are sleeping in a hut, made out of cow dung (apparently great for high blood pressure!) living and eating with the whole family each night. Well - I'm just eating bread at the minute. Had a small bowl of rice yesterday and then unfortunately a bit of a relapse (yup, sick - again). But no fever this time at least.
The home is beautiful in it's authenticity - it's certainly the most unique experience we've encountered yet. The atmosphere is so much more tranquil and laid back here compared to the city (although that might be something to do with the 40 odd degree heat!). We've noticed our energy has returned also, which we think might be because we're no longer in the city.
It's very rural here, the pace of life is slow but people work hard and seem happy. Everyone's been (yet again) so incredibly welcoming and kind. We really feel accepted and welcomed as part of the family, despite the language
barrier - it's astonishing to acknowledge actually that neither one of us has ever experienced this level of hospitality back in the UK! We met a lovely American, Kevin, in our last place actually who said apparently in India "guest is God" - yikes.
We've also noticed there is little poverty here and the stray animals look in far better condition than they do in the cities. Our host explains that here people feed the dogs. Interesting to note the dogs here seem far better balanced than they do in general back home!
Its been interesting to learn more about the Indian way of life too...
So the whole family live together. Mother, father, various sons, their wives and children (the daughters live in the city with their husbands and families). There is of course more emphasis on 'family togetherness' in India. The Father holding the most power - everyone respects him. Women show their respect by covering their veils down over the faces whenever he walks in a room or nearby them.
Chhotu, the son who manages the business (and who speaks good English) explained a little more about arranged marriages. So his parents had
chosen his wife for him at 13 (his wife was 10) but they're not permitted to meet or talk - at all - until they meet on their actual wedding day (this is custom). After marriage, they have to wait three years, or until maturity, until the wife can then move in with the husband's family. If husbands die, wives are not permitted to remarry again. (Interesting to note I'm reading Ghandi's autobiography at the minute and he talks about his own doomed arranged marriage at 13years old... And his reasons for disagreeing with them - great book by the way if you get a chance).
We listened with interest before then explaining the contrasts within our own culture. We explained the notion of "dating" and the fact we had independent choice when it comes to partner's. We also explained it was 'OK' not to marry if we didn't want to. Chhotu listened with equal interest before replying, "I think in your culture, women are more free." We agreed that this might be true, but it wasn't always the case. We also explained we could see the benefits for a woman in his culture, at least she has security
for life for instance. He replied, "Yes and we respect and trust our parents very much. So we know they will choose husbands and wives for us carefully". I suppose something we could take away from this culture is the mahoosive amounts of respect people have for their parents. Although we both (of course!) respect our parents, we did wonder if we were in the minority here within the UK...?
We then went on to have a rather amusing twenty minutes making attempts to explain the reputation "Essex girls" have back in the UK - before asking him what he really thought of our culture. After a long pause and a small smile, he replied "It's just very different."
"Very diplomatic!" we replied, and he laughed.
To be honest, that's all we can say about it too - there's no judgement or critique on either side - it's just a very different culture. You can take good and bad aspects from both I suppose. I think I'll respect a little more and appreciate my total independence and freedom though.
It's fascinating actually witnessing the differences, I.e men congregating together (women not allowed), women having to cover
themselves, work at home and not permitted to re-marry/divorce etc.
Anyway, on our first day we went with Chhotu round the village and met the locals who so kindly let us into their homes to learn a bit more about their way of life. They didn't speak English, but again such open, warm body language - all the time - it's great fun to have to communicate through gesture and facial expression alone (which frequently gets completely misinterpreted!). We learnt about the different castes in the village and their traditions such as shepperds and weaving.
One our second day we went into the desert for a camel ride- early start due to the heat! We found this much more relaxing than riding on an elephant. One the way we passed huts and desert farms- so peaceful, and such a vast contrast to the city! Our guide/camel owner took us to his home to meet his family. Again it was lovely to see the animals being so well cared for.
All in all we were so sad to leave Jodhpur as we had such a lovely time living within the family and we both agreed this has been
the best place in India we've seen so far (despite the scorching heat!!). We would love to return one day 😊
Take care, love to all.
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Carley
non-member comment
Interesting
Love This Blog as I am glad you gave them a real insight in to our culture. and I think his response says it all. :) Love to you both xx