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Published: March 14th 2011
Que?
"blah blah blah blah blah (en español)
Que?
"blah blah blah!"
I don´t know what you want! No entiendo!
I am sitting in my designated seat on the second leg of my two flights to Argentina. This, unfortunately for me is the flight from Texas to Buenos Aires, and so actually has spanish speaking people on board. The woman next to me evidently wants something, and wants me to get out of my seat, and I, in turn, show her that this is in fact my seat so... GET OFF MY BACK! (saying this would be rude, so I just thought it: passionately). An english speaking Argentine girl, visibly frustrated at the sound of our exchange told me that the woman wanted me to change seats with her friend. This sounded fairly reasonable, so I went over to 31 K where another lady got up, said graciously "gracias señor" and I sat down in my new seat. Sitting next to me was the devil. He blended in fairly well; surprisingly well actually, for evil incarnate... Whenever I tried to sleep, he would snort, fart or burp- sweet Lord, the smells! Out of the sulphurous pits they did come! Whenever I
was thirsty, he would say "nada por favor" (nothing please) for the both of us, he kept moving my pillow- why?! That´s my pillow dude, move your own if you´re uncomfortable! Then he just stole the pillow, just took it, with me glaring at him the whole time. Either the man was oblivious or unashamed at his actions, a mother simply cannot raise a person to be that way, there was something supernaturally awful about him. Worst of all, his screen worked and mine didn´t. So compound nine hours of this and I´m close to breaking point. I´m just thankful to reach the heat of Buenos Aires.
....................
At the airport, myself and some other volunteers met Marcello and Kika, our LGV co-ordinators in B.A. One thing I immediately learnt about Argentinians, is that when it comes to sex jokes, there is very little inhibition. Everything goes; and everything is hilarious. One of the first subjects Marcello and myself talked about was breasts- I don´t know how we arrived at this after ten minutes in the car, but there we go... The crude ones are the funniest of all to Argentines; if I went outside right now and
yelled ´BOOBS!´in spanish you would hear a chorus of chortling men and women. Yes, women find breasts funny here too. I love this country.
We arrived at Tango Backpackers hostel about thirty minutes later. Buenos Aires, in nearly all areas, does not feel like a city, more like a very large neighbourhood. Everyone is outside talking, the streets are verdant and for the most part well kept, children scoot up and down on their bikes and you can hear couples arguing inside their houses. This is not true for the centre, of course, where the vast numbers of cars overpower any social sound, but Buenos Aires sometimes can feel like a village. As soon we got back to the hostel, I wanted a shower, nay, needed one. I think sitting next to El Diablo had done a number on me, so I headed towards my dorm. Got changed out my travel clothes. Put my clothes in the drawer and stepped in the bathroom. The door wouldn´t close properly. I thought, the other male volunteers are arriving in a while and I don´t want the first thing they see to be my bottom. It´s only polite. So I pulled relatively hard
and the thing closed. It was then I realised that there was no locking mechanism on the inside. Frantically I pushed at the door and turned the handle everywhich way I could - but it didn´t budge. I had a feeling I would be here for a while. Indeed I was. Despite the claustrophobic smallness and high humidity of the bathroom, I deduced that I had to remain calm and make as much noise as possible. So I panicked and made as little noise as possible for a while, waiting to see if anyone would come. I then came to my rational plan and began banging on the door in (for some reason) what I thought to be the SOS morse code (I later learned I had been banging OSO, which means ´bear´ in spanish). I stopped after a while because my fists were sore.
So there I was; my first day in Argentina and I was locked in a Buenos Aires bathroom shouting ´BEAR! BEAR!´ Not my proudest moment. Of course at this time I knew very little spanish, along with the fact that the door to the room outside was closed. I eventually got help, by, funnily enough
yelling "HELP!" as I thought this might be easier to understand. The hostel workers couldn´t get the door open by themselves so instead enlisted the help of the local locksmith. When I eventually got out, a small crowd had formed around the door, and a ring of applause greeted me. It was like the end of Die Hard or something. Surreal...
......................
The same night, we found an amazing carnival in a neighbourhood close to our hostel. Everyone seemed to know each other- the adults and children mingled and played, the live music was incredible. It was just one of those perfect nights. What made it more perfect was the fact that funny foam was being sold to everyone- you had to watch your back, otherwise someone would write something and make you look like an iegit. One of the volunteers, Chris, got chased around the road by a bunch of ferocious kids armed with cans of funny foam- they wanted to make a beard on him, apparently. After the foam battles came the parade- an intricate display of choreographed (sp?) dancing and shiny outfits, red, yellow, huge drums and glistening lights. Some of us even got to partcipate- once again, the perfect start to our time in Argentina. And I didn´t even need to get drunk...
Over the following days, we enjoyed bus tours, tango exhibitions and boat trips along the river. I haven´t been locked in a Argentine bathroom since, but hey, there´s always time...
.....................
p.s. Nan, I tried finding you a Buenos Aires card, but couldn´t see any- I don´t think they do many tourist cards, at least in the places I visited. I´ll try again in Santiago or B.A. if I go back.
UNTIL NEXT TIME, CHOW MI AMIGOS Y MI FAMILIA!
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cass
non-member comment
Oh my god I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time. Love you little bro. Keep having fun it sounds amazing so far x x x