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Published: December 14th 2010
This evening Rach and I were walking home in the drizzle. We noticed a couple stood under an umbrella and, as we passed them, out of the corner of my eye I realised something didn't look right. She had her hand out, perhaps holding something and seemed to be staring vacantly. He was pressing very tightly against her, holding her up. At first we joked that maybe she was drunk and by this time were a good 5 or 6 steps away. We then heard a muffled noise, turned round and realised that she was struggling with him. He had his hand on her neck and was physically manhandling her. We slowed down completely and watched as she kept trying to walk away and he kept grabbing her, by the waist, the neck, even the hair. She was crying and occasionally yelping, presumably when he hurt her.
Several people walked past and not a one of them even glanced in their direction. Rach and I were by now stopped and obviously looking but he didn't see us. We both felt very uncomfortable and didn't know what was going on, but felt that it clearly wasn't right. And here's where my limited grasp on Chinese doesn't help! So we popped into a nearby restaurant and called the school, keeping an eye on the couple. Rach tried to explain to our colleague what was going on so she could ask the restaurant manager to go and see if she was okay, but we really struggled to communicate. Not because of the language barrier, but because no-one could understand why we were getting involved. The restaurant guy kept asking if she was our friend and our colleague couldn't understand why we were asking her about some other people we'd seen in the street and so thought she was misunderstanding. Anyway, Benny must have realised that something was up so he came on the line and when I explained said that really, we should just walk away because we don't know them or their situation. At this point I am afraid I got very angry and swore a fair bit before saying that Rachael and I would just follow them then, because we wouldn't have it on our consciences if something did happen to this poor woman. Benny then said he'd come down and try to help us.
By this time, the guy had dragged the women into a quieter street just off the main road. It's actually on our way home anyway, so we just walked quickly past them and then stopped in a doorway still watching, but this time far more obviously. The guy saw us standing there and also stopped, again physically restraining the woman. We waited for Benny for a good 25 minutes and although it was very cold we both were kept warm by the adrenalin. We both thought it was very dodgy that the guy stopped when he saw we'd stopped and in fact I think he would have stayed there all night if we had.
When Benny arrived we approached the couple and asked if everything was okay. The woman burst into tears and the man just kept saying everything was okay. Apparently he said he was drunk and that's why she was upset (she's his wife), though why that meant has had to physically abuse her I don't know. Anyway, there wasn't much else we could do. I would have called the police I think, because although she eventually said she was okay you kind of assume that's because he's still grabbing her neck in a vice grip rather than because that's how she actually felt. We walked slowly home, just a little ahead of them and realised that they live in our apartment complex. Benny spoke to the guard and apparently they are married, so at least that bit was true, but I dread to think what that poor woman is going through right now, and hope it isn't made any worse by our interference.
How could we have walked past though? We had no idea if they were a couple, or if the girl was a prostitute, or maybe just a random person he'd got his hands on. But it really didn't matter. She was being hurt by someone, wh amy or may not be known to her.
It makes me burn with anger that Chinese people dare to say to my face, "oh, you have lots of spots," or say to Benny, "You're a bit fat," but they won't say anything to a man physically abusing a woman. They used to tell me they commented on my skin because they care; to let me know that they notice me and are worried about me. Well, it would mean a damn sight more if you worried about your fellow human beings if they were in physical danger. People are so nosy here, always poking their beaks into things that don't concern them, gossiping etc, but when they *should* take an interest it's all head down, get home.
I KNOW that it probably happens at home too, but at home I wouldn't have felt so helpless.
I also heard this evening that a very dear friend has been treated badly by someone so I got very protective. I can't decide if it's a good or bad thing that I can't get on Facebook at the moment, maybe I'd get involved in something I shouldn't, but just maybe I'd be able to teach some people some manners.
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Paul
non-member comment
Good job, done the right thing me thinks.