Very Merry in Kerikeri

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Be warned, this entry is not so much a ‘travel’ blog, but more a documentation of the 10 days I spent back in New Zealand visiting my two Kiwi mates, Mikey and Jace, who were sharing their 40th birthdays together. It will be very much along the lines of my Australia blog, which was more about catching up with mates and having a few beers than ticking boxes from the Lonely Planet!

The plane touched down in Auckland on the 19th September at about 23:15 and Mikey had kindly said he would pick me up and take me to my destination for the next 10 day, Kerikeri, in the Bay of Islands. I walked through arrivals and looked around for Mikey. Being so late and with very few people around, I struggled to locate Mikey. There were a few members of staff, people meeting passengers from my flight and a homeless looking person loitering in the background, complete with long, curly hair, full facial beard and dirty jeans. I looked a little closer and I recognised a pair of trainers that used to belong to me and whom I had subsequently given to Mikey! Christ…it was Mikey! The 2 months he had just spent in Africa working had certainly not been kind to him…he looked like a cross between a pirate and Swampy. It was great to see him all the same, and once I had stopped laughing, was great to have a catch up and see how the rest of his trip had panned out!

From previous conversations with Jace, I was under the impression that Kerikeri was only an hour or so from Auckland, however Jace was still in South America when I arrived, leaving Mikey to break the news that it is actually more like 3.5 hours away…if you drive really fast! Mikey picked me up with his best mate and brother-in- law Shane, who I had heard a lot about - apparently he is worse than both Mikey and Jace when it come to drinking - I found this to be nothing but true! When Shane isn’t drinking or driving diggers for his earth moving company, he does a very good impression of a racing driver! The roads were clear pretty much all the way back to Kerikeri and rather than the relaxing drive I was expecting, the white knuckle ride got us back in one piece and bang on the 3.5 hour prediction!

After a few hours in bed, I woke the next morning to an amazing view! It was dark when I had arrived the previous night and I was unaware of where I was, but on raising the blind, was instantly blown away with the view. It was certainly a ‘wow’ moment! Mikey’s Mum’s house is perched on top of a small hill overlooking ‘Taps’ bay, which is a very small community with around 30 properties. If I hadn’t known I was in NZ, I don’t think I would have ever guessed, it really wasn’t what I was expecting. Simply beautiful. The smile that that view put on my face that morning, remained with me for the rest of the 10 days!

So I went downstairs and was introduced to Mikey’s Mum Lillian and his sister Caroline’s (Shane’s wife) children, Chloe, Jack and Finn. Then it was off into town to organise a few things for the weekends party. They live about 15 minutes from town and are in fact enclosed in a gated community, where you need to know the access code to enter the bay. In this regard, the community is well segregated from the rest of the world and is as though they are untouchable there. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone appears to get along and respects each other. Houses and cars are left unlocked with keys left in the door or the ignition…it really did remind me of Essex! I also witnessed a lot of drink driving. Getting from A to B requires transport and as there are no taxis in this part of the world the only option is to drive (or not drink, which isn’t an option). I don’t necessarily condone drink driving, but can understand why it happens in rural places like this. Driving from one end of the bay to the other is also quite safe at 03:00 when the only damage you can do is to your own car, like Mikey did when he reversed his sports car up a bank late one night. Thankfully the only damage done was to the bank, although Mikey was still not very happy with me - I was supposed to be the co-driver - which would have been fine had I not been more drunk than him!

Anyway, I digress. That afternoon I got my first taste of life in this area, launching Shane’s boat and heading out to sea. There was no real intention of this trip, just to show me part of their playground, which really is an amazing place. As is the usual, an eski (cool box) full of beer was aboard and we headed out to Shane’s intended destination, turned the boat around and then headed back to shore at what is termed ’beer speed’. I am quite sure that Shane has travelled at beer speed before, arriving back on dry land just as the last beer being was finished! Strange that! That night I ate deep fried oysters in a beer batter, which was just a little taste of the abundance of fresh seafood available in the area…even though they may not have necessarily been attained in a wholly acceptable manner, but that’s another story.

The next day followed a similar theme, doing a minimal amount for the party in the morning, before heading out on the boat in the afternoon…laden full of Lion Red lager. Mikey brought a full scuba dive kit, which meant there were 3 sets on board and allowed me to dive too, using Mikey’s new gear as Jace’s would have been far too big. Mikey however managed to fill Jace’s wetsuit perfectly, the extra pounds he has put on since I last saw him paying dividends! We were joined on the boat by Duncan, who manages Lillian’s hostel, Rochelle who works for Shane, her boyfriend Grant and Jack, Shane’s eldest boy. It was the first time that I had dived since getting certified in Thailand 2 years ago and I must admit to being more than a little nervous! It was a very different experience to the calm, warm waters off of Phi Phi and complete in full wetsuit I entered the water. Cold? Just a touch!

Anyway, I managed to remember most of what I had been taught 2 years ago and got down to the sea bed, closely following Mikey in his pursuit for crayfish. I was just happy to be down there and had no intention of trying to catch anything, in fact just staying in one place was challenge enough as the current was pretty strong! It wasn’t long before Mikey was onto one, wriggling his slightly rotund body between a couple of rocks, emerging victorious 30 seconds later with a crayfish in hand. I was in charge of the keep net, so in it went and off Mikey was, on the hunt for his next victim. We had been down for about 40 minutes when I looked at my air gauge, which read 50psi. During my training, whenever I reached that figure, I knew to ascend to the surface as air is running low. I got Mikey’s attention and showed him my gauge, thinking he would surface with me, like my instructor had done. Mikey just grabbed my hand and gestured that I should continue and that everything was fine…so I did. From that point on, I was very conscious of my air and must have started to breathe harder, the gauge dropping at a rate slightly quicker than I had intended. I got Mikey’s attention again and he told me to surface, which I did and was picked up by Grant and Rochelle in the boat. Duncan surfaced next and Mikey and Shane came up about 15 minutes later - they cant breath a great deal when they are under water! Mikey then questioned why I was showing him the gauge when it was ‘only’ at 50psi. I explained about the course and he said I had plenty of extra time down there. I just thought that was easy for him to say, when all was thinking about was running out of air, drowning and becoming fish food, something I hadn’t really banked on during my travels! I guess that is the difference between somebody who dives almost daily and somebody who has only 5 dives to his name!

Anyway, Shane had caught a couple of crays too, so it was back in the boat, engine set to beer speed and the slow cruise back to the bay began. This is almost a daily occurrence for these boys, spending hours at sea, diving and fishing…and drinking. It’s a great life in a great place and can understand why Mikey loves being at home so much. Jace cooked up the crayfish that night and provided me with my first taste, which was very sweet, juicy and fresh. You would pay a fortune for one of these crustaceans in a restaurant and here we were with 5 big ones on the kitchen counter. It’s not a bad life!

The following day it was back out in the boat and this time the target was abalone, or paua in New Zealand (from the Maori language), which are edible sea snails that attach themselves to the rocks and can be caught in quite shallow water. The wetsuit was still required, but not the tanks, doing all of the work with just a mask and snorkel Again I followed Mikey and he was straight into it. After he had a couple, he handed me the knife, pointed at one and told me to retrieve it. It was easy enough, although I found spotting them difficult at first, returning a couple of times with sea creatures that were anything but what we were after. There are strict guidelines in New Zealand regarding the size and amount allowed per person, so being the law abiding citizens we all are, returned at beer speed with our ‘legal’ quota!

The organisation for the weekends party stepped up a gear towards the end of the week, arranging the marquee, portaloo, tables and chairs, food, drink and a spit, which was to slowly cook a whole pig that Mikey had bought. I had never eaten spit roasted porker before, but had heard good things about it. I love my food and was looking forward to tucking into Babe!

The day before the party, when everything had been organised, Jason returned to Kerikeri. I’m not sure if this was coincidence at all, but it was certainly very well timed on his part, returning to an arrival party that consisted of his parents and brother, friends and a box of Lion Red. It was great to see him again, complete with the same t-shirt I last saw him in, a few extra grey hairs and looking much trimmer than when we had parted company in Argentina in June. Apparently the weight loss was due to the altitude of La Paz (Bolivia), that had considerably reduced his appetite, and nothing at all to do with the cheap, high grade marching powder so easily attainable there. I don’t know too many people who have put weight on in La Paz, but then who I am I to speculate!

After a couple of beers, it wasn’t long before Jace was wet suited alongside Shane and Mikey and they were back underwater, this time looking for scallops, my favourite shellfish. They once again retrieved the legal amount and taught how to shell them when we got back to the house - not as easy as it looks - especially in the dark and after a few brews!

Saturday was party day and by the time I woke up and showed my face downstairs, the marquee was almost already up. I’m not the most manual of blokes, so it was probably best I left it to the experts anyway! Jace made the marinade for the pig, Mikey was ‘supervised’ proceedings. Things were coming together. The beer was cracked at about 11:30 and people started turning up around 13:30. It was good to sit back and watch the many friends and family the two lads have and seeing the day unfold. As they had both been away for the best part of 8 months, it was as much a home coming party as it was their joint 40th, with people pleased to see them and share a drink or two with them…something that neither of them seemed to mind too much. It was supposed to be a fancy dress party and it has to be said that many of the costumes were questionable, including my own, hoping that a ripped green t-shirt combined with some cargo shorts would pass as military personnel. Mikey went as a pirate…no costume required, and Jace as a Roman warrior, complete with plastic six pack, shied and sword over black t-shirt…imagination required! It was a good party with about 100 or so people turning up at various points throughout the day/night. The drunk’o’metre went from stone cold sober (1, maybe 2 people) to through the roof (the majority) and the dance floor got attacked at different times during the night, providing much entertainment. It was a good night that petered out around very late o’clock and I went to bed toasted.

I felt terrible the next morning; my head feeling like it was in another place. You can imagine how happy I was to look out of the window and see that the marquee had been taken down, the place cleaned up…and the boys back on the beers! Where do they get the energy? I reluctantly walked downstairs and tried to work out how and why everyone was so upbeat and not hanging out of their arse like I was. All I could come up with is they are older and more experienced! A beer was put in front of me and I hesitantly twisted the cap off, taking a sip a baby would have been disappointed with. The first couple went down like gravel, but it wasn’t long before they tasted good again - they have a habit of doing that - and in no time we were sipping gin and tonics in the afternoon sunshine. This continued all afternoon before relocating the party down the hill into one of the houses that had been rented for the weekend. More of the same took place, albeit at a lower intensity than the night before and it was nice just relaxing and talking to people in a semi coherent state. I actually preferred this night to the night before, had a lot of laughs with Mikey, Jace and their close friends who had stayed over, eventually pulling the pin around 4 a.m.

From memory, the Monday was fairly quiet, returning things to the hire shop and finishing off any tidying up that was required. We went back out on the boat in the afternoon and Mikey went hunting for muscles, returning with enough for a decent feed. I tried one raw and it was actually really nice - a bit slimy - but tasty all the same. The Tuesday was very similar with Mikey, Jace and Shane diving for more crayfish. I didn’t feel 100% and had opted not to dive, making the most of the 45 minutes alone on the boat to catch up on some well needed rest. The boys returned successful, got back on board and cracked a beer. I had decided long before the first cap was removed that today was an AFD (alcohol free day) and despite untold pressure from the trio, I remained strong, feeling a damn site better the next morning, when Jace kindly offered to drive me back to Auckland. He first wanted to show me the town and house he grew up in, again meeting his parents, before driving to the other side of the island to show me a couple of tourist spots including Tane Mahuta, the largest living kauri tree in NZ. It is estimated to be about 2000 years old, is 51.5 metres high and the girth of the trunk measures 13.8 metres - an all round massive tree! It was good to do a bit of sightseeing in this part of NZ, although knowing we were still 3.5 hours from Auckland - if we drove fast - I continually had my eye on the clock. Jason, in his wisdom, took a 40 minute detour we could really have done without and must have sensed my nervousness, increasing the pressure from his right foot. We arrived at Auckland airport 30 minutes after check-in had opened, giving us enough time to have a couple of beers before our third goodbye! I was heading back to Sydney for one night before my Asian adventure begins!

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Photos

View from my window
...just like Hockley!

'Taps' Bay
...from out in the bay

Lillian's House (centre top)
...the best hostel i have stayed in to date!

Mikey
...engaging in not completely legal behaviour

Mikey
...nice costume!!

View from Lil's place
...not a bad view

Comments

[Mike]

what about the rest of it
Although some fun was had by all you convieniently neglected to mention some important events that happened (to you)...namely a lovely young vampress who goes by the aptly named nickname of Big Tits