Differences that aren't so Different

---

Listening to my cd player with my headphones to focus on work on the computer, yet still dancing and singing aloud equals two crazy people in Yovokome.
I can tell that Derique is a similar roommate to Nancy in that he prefers me to use my headphones rather than the radio. I know this because he is not hiding in the bedroom. Hiding in the bedroom makes him a little embarrassed when I step out of the bath.
I am not as reactive as I was while writing the previous “femi-nazi” entry, but I still have some arguments to present.
Modern music videos are very similar in Mina and Kotafon to those in English or those from France, in the manner that women are shown dancing, often with camera zooms to the breasts or behind. In my mind, I think this emphasizes the view of a woman as an object. I also know that, as a woman myself, it’s nice to be told I am good-looking. I appreciate the idea that men appreciate female beauty.
But thinking of women being put on display opens the spillway of other thoughts on that subject. Primarily I wonder why so many American women, or women from “developed” countries, are so upset with injustices to their sisters in “developing” countries, when those same “liberated” women often create the same injustices for themselves? Some examples:
- Women as objects in developing countries: forced marriages, in developed countries: indicative clothing, or lack of clothing in general.
- Polygamy in developing countries: whether voluntary or not, men dominate the married life, in developed countries: it’s common for both men and women to have multiple sex partners with or without marriage.
I, myself, am confused about the message “developed” countries are trying to send when the most available information on “developed” countries is MTV music videos, and there are not too many “women’s’ lib” songs. I wonder how an American woman can enter a developing country to give an example and even instruct women how to be “free”, if the same American woman creates the same problems for herself? How can an American man enter a developing country and tell other men to respect women, when the American man himself does not give respect? What really grinds my teeth is that Americans have the choice. That is the true liberation, to be able to choose. Benin is a democratic country, but with much more rigid social norms than those that exist in America.
I can’t draw the line to show “good woman” behaviors from “bad woman” behaviors. I like wearing bikinis and tank tops and shorts, and I consider myself a respectable woman. But maybe that’s it; women’s liberty is about how a woman views herself and acts accordingly when living with her right to act as she pleases.
Have I ever said that I am a little idealistic? As soon as I finish burning my bras, I will finish this entry. Ten minutes, please.

I have picked up on other differences that aren’t so different by living here, and by living here and communicating with my family in America. I refer to my initial surprise at playing Nintendo in my family’s home, primarily, but also to my American family’s slight shock in realizing that I had bought a cell phone not just to communicate with them, but also with the great majority of my work partners and friends in Athieme. People in America were also surprised to know that there was so much vehicle traffic. I told my friend Mathurin those latter two things, and he laughed.
But the misconceptions are equal on both sides. One of the most common questions I encounter about America is if there is dirt, if the ground is the same between the States and Benin.
When I first arrived in Benin, I was completely disgusted by all of the trash I saw everywhere. Now, though it still kind of grosses me out if I think about it too much, I realize that the amount of trash I see is due to a lack in waste management capacities, and that the waste does not begin to amount to the mass quantities we squash, bury, and otherwise hide in America.
The biggest and truest difference for me, as I realized today as the one-billionth person asked m to teach him English (yes, now all billion people in Athieme have asked me), is that I was born in America. The ability to speak English is almost a basic necessity to conduct global business, thus being able to understand and speak the most powerful language in the world makes a person much more valuable in a global sense. On top of that, I am American. I not only have the most powerful language in the world as my mother tongue, but I come from the most powerful country, too. Eeek. All I did was come from my momma.
I can paraphrase what I wrote in a letter to my Mom and Dad- people are all working for and expecting the same things: potable water, a home, basic education, the ability to choose, and a good, cold beer. I believe those are universal. I would bet even aliens, who might be (are?) in this universe, strive toward those essentials.
Derique says it’s time for bed. I guess I will choose to listen to a canine eunuch, but only ‘cause I am tired!

---

Photos

Basketball!
These guys were sooooo excited to look so cool. Too bad they barely missed getting skunked... Too bad I couldn't play... :)

Comments

[Oly]

waouw!
What a trip! Come and see my blog! Thanks! http://lesoliviersdeflorence.skynetblogs.be