Get me off this #$&*@ BUS!!!

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So the journey to Laos began with getting to the Hanoi bus station which was 20 minutes outside the city centre. We got there around 11 after our hotel advised that buses left throughout the day until 6pm. Of course this was wrong and we found out instead that the next bus didn't leave until 4:30, so we looked around for some way of spending our time but not money and also changing some dong to dollars in preparation for Laos. The local western union was closed and the only other two buildings in the area were a toyota dealership and a German style restaurant/brewery.

So our logic was flawless - german beer comes in steins, which are big and so can be made to last some time. We got a drink each and settled in to write diaries and play on iPods. We stretched this out with another beer and some rice and noddles. We stayed there until they started to push us to order more and headed back to the station to find our bus.

The bus was at least a coach and had aircon and tasteless blankets at least so we were looking forward to an alright journey that would get us to Dien Bien Phu at 3 am and there was a connecting bus to Muang Khua in Laos at 8 am so we decided that if we slept alright we could carry straight on and save some money in the process. The journey was not as good as we wanted. We stopped and had a free meal (imagine a plastic lunch tray with unidentifiable food on it and rice) and also the people playing musical chairs as people were moved from seat to seat and sometimes even to the aisle between seats. The music playing on the bus whilst the sun was up was rave music - how appropriate.

We arrived in Dien Bien Phu and decided that as we needed dollars, and more importantly sleep we would stay a night here. We grabbed a soup from the nearest shop (run all by men which is rare) and it was one of the worst ones we have had - essentially water noodles and raw beef. My spoon was also so battered it made you wonder what other people chewed on rather than eat the soup.

We crossed the road and got speaking to two drunk blokes. One had stayed up all night to wait for the bus to Hanoi and one had returned to his hotel too late and been locked out. They were merry enough and gave us some pointers around town. We waited around for a few hours as the markets setup and then closed down until 8am when the hotels started to open up. We found one with wifi and clean sheets and got a few hours of proper sleep finally.

When we woke up we set off looking for somewhere to change dong to dollars so we could then convert the dollars in Laos. Long story but essentially its really difficult to get Laos Kip outside of the country. We found one place that did it but the rate was so poor that we carried on looking. Finding nowhere else we went back to the place but it was closed. Great. We then began to rush around any hotels to see if someone could exchange the cash with us. Most struggled to understand what we meant despite our professional hand actions. When we did find one we soon realised that they wanted dollars off us.

With the whole day coming to a waste and it looking like we would have to wait until the next day (Monday) when the banks opened we went back to the hotel asking what times banks opened and which ones could exchange for dollars. They proceeded to tell us that they had loads of dollars in their safe and gave is a good rate as well. Thankfully this put us safe and ready to go to Laos tomorrow and we went to splash out at the local supermarket for supplies on our epic bus journey to Laos. We got all the major food groups - beef jerky, crisps, mango juice and vodka. Yummy.

We got up early the next morning, checked out and got the the bus station asap to get a good seat. How foolish of us. We soon realised that the bus to Laos was a minibus and the seating arrangement far from conventional. They crammed all the rucksacks onto the back seat and the remainder were split so that for the 3 seats across each row 4 people would fit. We were worried that the bus would fill up and we wouldn't be allowed on so we pushed to the front and just gave our money over despite the drivers protests.

Once on we soon realised that this would not be a comfy journey as more and more people were pushed on. There were people standing in any possible place and plenty of people on top of each other. Emma had made a little corner for herself at the back and despite the lack of leg space was definitely better off than the people with bums in their faces nearer the front.

The thing that made this all bearable was the good mix of westerners on there so there was plenty of banter and its hard to grumble when your laughing at an ozzy hitting on the shouting Vietnamese woman or the young southerner getting overly friendly with the "conducter" nicknamed "the Best" as this was the make of his snazzy shirt.

We started to get worried as to the condition of the roads worsened but soon we pulled up and presumed we must be near the border. We were indeed at the Vietnam border post and proceeded through immigration and out of the country. So far so good. And that really was about as far as we were getting. We were told it was a 10/15 minute drive to the Laos authorities but soon realised this wasn't going to be the case. We stopped after 5 minutes as the condition of the road was so bad that we couldn't drive any further in our already overloaded van. I was thankful for this as after the last stop off I had lost my seat and instead was hanging out the window with the best on my knee as position that whilst enjoyable for one of us could not have been maintained for long.

So we got out and did Emma's least favourite thing - trekked to the border. This was again full of jokes and the occasional stop for a game of cards. We eventually made it, stopping to photograph a kid with a huge bug, and proceeded with the longest border crossing ever from the Laos. Everything was hand-written and done in triplicate for all 15 foreigners. This took forever.

When it was finally done we moved on again but not for long. Once again the roads became too bad and we had to just wait with the bus this time. We saw JCB's digging the road ahead of us and clearing a path. This became a regular occurrence and we soon got used to the stops and used them as times to socialise, stretch our legs or in Emma's case - sleep. At one point the workers suggested that we could give them some money and they would finish their work a lot quicker. The elderly Italian was quick to suggest we stand our ground and refuse until we got a good price but then even quicker to agree with the first price given. Amongst these workers were blokes with machetes and kids who seemed to use this as their regular form of entertainment - who needs MTV and X-Box?

So a journey that on paper takes 6 hours ended up 12 hours later with us pulling up to a river and crossing by a boat (one of the girls fell in the water) and finally trudging up a hill to find a guesthouse - THANK GOD!

Muang Khua was a small place that was only just coming to terms with the newly opened and increasingly popular border crossing. There were several basic guesthouses and restaurants and not much else. After the busy city centre of Hanoi it was ideal. We decided not to go for the first guesthouse everyone else went to reasoning there should be a cheaper one up the road. We found a marginally cheaper one and checked in. We then went to meet everyone at a restaurant and finally relax.

We ate the local dish Laap (basically mince meat coated in chillis, garlic and basil - i liked it, Emma didn't) and drink the renowned local beer - Beer Laos. It was great after Chang and Bia Hoi it was nice to finally have a good beer. We shared travel stories and backgrounds - one girl had gotten rabies from a dog bite and 3 lads had spent a month in Cambodia helping in the jungle. We then started to talk about how we were moving on from here and the evening ended agreeing that we would all meet at 9:15 to get a boat and sail to the next place and eventually Luang Prabang.

We awoke the next morning at 9 and checked out/packed and running 5 minutes late we got the restaurant. After a frantic 2 minutes explaining we didn't want food we found out from the owner that the group of foreigners had already left 10 minutes ago on a boat. Gutted.

We spent the next hour raging about being left behind but then we checked into a nicer hotel and decided to make the most of it and see the village. We could always get the boat tomorrow with any people who arrived today. We soon found that there were no more foreigners arriving and that to hire a boat just for two of us would have cost several days budget. This not being an option we decided to get the bus the next day and take a wander round Muang Khua.

We went to grab breakfast (tomato omelette and potato omelette) and then headed towards the river and suspension bridge. On the way we saw kids playing with toy houses covered in fake money. We had no idea what this was but there was loads of food being cooked and everyone seemed to be a in a good mood. One lady even gave us some sticky rice wrapped in banana leaf.

We took this down to the river and ate it whilst paddling our feet. We then crossed the bridge being very careful until we noticed the motorbikes crossing it at full speed. This gave us a bit more courage to the other side. Here we found a more local existence with dusty dogs, women chopping up fish and kids fighting on top of huge dust piles. All in all it was one of the best days so far if you exclude the morning but we were glad we got the extra day there and were a lot better rested for our early bus the next day to Luang Prabang.

We awoke early to get a taxi to the bus station but still had time for more omelettes for breakfast. We got the bus and loaded the bags on top. Emma then decided she wanted to put her rain cover on and so climbed on top of the mini bus (action man style) to put it on. Most of the men looked quite shocked but also impressed by this (me included). Then we were off to Udomaxi where the connecting bus to Luang Prabang gave us an hour to grab some crisps, bang my head on the bus and see a chicken in a handbag - or maybe i just hit my head a bit too hard.

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Photos

Supplies
Beef Jerky Juice Crips & Vodka

Emma didn't want to get back on the bus
Andy already had to Vietmamese lads on his knees

Comments

[SAN]

DODGY TRANSPORT
HELLO HAPPY (MOSTLY) TRAVELLERS. GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE SAFE AND HAVING GREAT TIME. FAB PHOTOS ESPECIALLY LIVERPOOL BUS. ANY LAMBANANAS... THEY WOULD PROBABLY EAT THEM WITH NOODLES. ALL WELL HERE. ONE MORE WEEK BEFORE HALF TERM THEN I'LL BE ON THE LAST 30 DAYS OR SO. THIS WEEKEND WE ARE GOING TO DUMFRIES TO SEE MACY WHO IS NEARLY WALKING AND ONLY JUST ONE. ALEX HAS GOT MORE TEETH AND IS NOW CALLED FARMER GILES BECAUSE OF ROUND RED FACE. MY LIL BRO IS 50 ON MAY 31 AH BLESS! AS YOU SEE TIME ROLLS ON AND ON AND ON. SPEAK SOON.LOL.Z NUN.