A Wing and A Prayer

---

I don't have a crystal ball. But in ten years time, I bet we won't be racing the world around on cheap flights.

Lets all cross our fingers and hope that the price of oil goes back up and keeps going skyward.

For the good of the world and our kids, lets hope 'Budget Flights' are just a silly passing fad.

'Pay peanuts and you'll get monkeys' is the old saying - I paid peanuts for my flight, and monkeys now are boarding the plane to Valencia. Clambering aboard, pushing and jumping over the seats. Howling and shrieking as their child-chimps smother chocolate over their faces.
An international chimps tea-party at 20,000 feet.

The Hoi-Polloi, cattle class, scum-shuttles... cheap flights are grim, ugly, noisey and responsible for the increase of air travel - and air travel is, as we all know, the number one killer of the environment.
More short air routes means more CO2. Budget airlines increase traffic on the ground and air, sell over-priced junk food, are filthy and cramped, they hold small cities to ransom with their demands and erode the ability of decent airlines to provide a sustainable service. Flying rust buckets waiting to crash.
Immoral stag-do parties use them to invade historic cities for cheap drunken weekends - Prague, Riga, Warsaw have all suffered.
They encourage relocation of retirees to warmer 'sunbird belts' - Spains recent unsustainable building boom and subsequent environmental decay could not have happened without the influx of cheap airtravellers.

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad....

But i still book my flights, I queue up and squash on board for the simplest, cheapest, unfrilly-est way of getting to the warm weather of Spain. I'm happy to whip out my credit card and rush from work with only my carry-on luggage, queue-barge and become a jet-chimpanzee with the rest of them so that i can crash down for rock bottom prices.


Am I a hypocrite?
Yes, but then...No.

Let me explain....

Tell me what the tax is on airline fuel. 15%!?(MISSING) 25%!?(MISSING) 50%!?(MISSING)

Nope.

Nothing percent.
Zero.
Zilch.
There is none - airlines argued years ago, worldwide, to avoid taxing aviation fuel as they could just go and fill up across the border in a different country, and the governments gave in, awed by the glamour of flying, and the lure of investment cash.
Fuel is cheap for the airlines and people in power are helpless to punish the polluters.

I recently flew to New York for 200 quid return. Two hundred quid. Hundred quid each way to get across the Atlantic, in a few hours and to eat a little meal on the way.
Flights should cost a whole load more. The value of crossing the Atlantic (to me) is worth twice, three times that - EACH WAY! I would pay 600-800 quid for a journey like that, not because i'm loaded with cash, but because its an absolute miracle of human invention to be able to travel that far, that quickly! - a 7 hour flight takes 7 days on a ship!

That 200 quid flight to the Big Apple was taking off wether i booked on it or not.
And I don't know an easier and cheaper way of swapping the UK's wet soup summer for the baking Valenciano sun.
And thats the problem.

I reckon we could all afford to pay green taxes of three or four times what our tickets cost us.
We cant afford not to for our planets sake, but it would also make us value our travels more, we would appreciate the trips that we had to save up for and hopefully it may reduce the careless destruction of the cultures and societies of what we sought at the other end of that flying metal tube.

But we're all spoilt now.
We all expect a cheap deal on a flight at the click of a mouse.

But none of us deserve this - cheap transit is not a right, but hopefully a crazy, ugly fad we're living through like Rubiks Cubes, celtic tattoos or social networking...

'Cheapflights' are not so cheap anymore, anyway.
Ryanair stung me for forty quid to check in at the Stanstead airport. 'Forty quid, or you cant get on our plane that you've already paid 60quid for a ticket' - and thats just one-way.
Over in Spain, most of the ex-pats (who moved there because of the cheap flights) had recently driven back to England for a few weeks. They told me that the ferry companies are fighting back with discounts and new routes. They gossiped about the lovely little French village they discovered to stay in overnight, the food they had, the differences between the countries.

I'll put money on it. I'll put my money where my mouth is.
I'd be happy to see higher cost flights if it discourages me from junk-flights and having to go to crowded airports, with their pointless security, de-humanising duty-free and cattle-slaughter glamour.
I'll book sleeper trains, drive through little villages, read maps badly and get lost.
I'll take my time and have manners, chat to fellow travellers and think about whats bothering me.

The sun will feel warmer, the sea fresher, the change in cultures will taste more exotic and my eyes will open wider.

And then I'll just have to go away for longer.



Last Blog entry - Banksy's Art Exhibition Exit through gift shop...

---

Photos

wingtip in the rain
take me away!

Comments

[monika]

great blog
I just want to say what a great blog you wrote, i might use some of your frases! I travel a lot, move a lot, but still i agree with you...no more cheap flights:) Fantastic!!

[deleted_49612]

I am not sure you would change all that much, just because it would take you longer to reach your destination. If it had the benefits of ''sun will feel warmer, the sea fresher, the change in cultures will taste more exotic and my eyes will open wider'' etc, wouldn't you be choosing it over flying, despite the cheap flights. I think, people will choose the most attractive options available at any time and it won't make too great a differerence to how they think or behave. But, I am hoping the environmental issues will cause the boats to become cheaper so I can do more overland travel, when I have the time. I fancy getting a perspective on how big the world is. Flying makes it seem much smaller, I think.

[bob]

Hi You wrote "Ryanair stung me for forty quid to check in at the Stanstead airport" I believe its spelt Stansted Thank you

[thecrashpacker]

People do and will choose the most attractive option based on price and time... but the prices are so stupidly low now, we end up choosing unpleasant and harmful flights. Maybe we'll look back at these times and laugh/shudder about our attitude to flights and other 'junk' areas of our society...

[thecrashpacker]

still stung me for forty quid - anyway its hell on earth so i don't care how i spell it! Stan-shed is what it feels like.

[tw]

Interesting thoughts
Thanks for your most interesting thoughts on cheap flights! It's very rare indeed to find such a combination of total cluelessness and hypocrisy in one blog post. "air travel is, as we all know, the number one killer of the environment." Ehmm, no. According to the IPCC (you can read their complete report on the internet), aviation is responsible for around 2% of the world's emissions of climate gases. If there were no flights at all between 1990 and 2050, they estimate that this would have resulted in the planet being around 0.05 degrees cooler in 2050. I don't think this sounds like a disaster. "they hold small cities to ransom with their demands". I think rather they benefit small cities, which before cheap flights were not on the tourist map at all. "Flying rust buckets waiting to crash". The budget airlines typically have much newer airplanes than the so-called "decent airlines". Ryanair has the newest fleet of all airlines. "I reckon we could all afford to pay green taxes of three or four times what our tickets cost us. We cant afford not to for our planets sake, but it would also make us value our travels more, we would appreciate the trips that we had to save up for.." If you are so keen on paying a lot for your tickets, nobody is stopping you from flying business class on the "decent airlines". I can assure you that I value all the trips I made for next to nothing with Ryanair, just as much as if I had paid more. In fact, I value them more, the less I pay. It is especially pleasing to know that I am annoying all the sad, clueless hypocrites who want to deny everybody else the opportunity to experience the world. Keep up the good work! :-)

[thecrashpacker]

Thanks - I have never denied being a hypocrite! I'm fully aware of my ability to hold 2 opposing thoughts in my head at the same time, and I pride myself on having contrasting beliefs and actions. I despise drinking alcohol yet I still enjoy getting drunk. I feel grotty after eating a huge meal, yet still keenly gorge myself on food. And I love being able to get around the world quickly and cheaply yet i also believe there are downsides to it. If we can reduce carbon emissions by 2%, then brilliant - its a start, and then we can let the cows fart in peace! Many small towns have suffered recently after budget airlines offer to use them and negotiate cheap landing rates and demand investment in infrastructure, and then pull out as soon as they feel like it. I'll give you that Ryanairs fleet are all new. They had those rockhard seats specially designed to cram everyone in, took out the seat pockets and fixed unique yellow and blue advertising boards all over the place! And there is someone stopping me from flying expensive business class - ME! I was musing that this may be a 'social fad' of cheap flights and in the future this option may not be open to any of us... Perhaps then we will "experience the world" in a different, maybe more leisurely way, and i'm sure you will be enjoying it along with all us clueless people.

[beccajose]

Wow...
I get it crashpacker, i get what you're talking about. it was just an idle thought in your head that you wanted to get out. Don't worry, you don't need to be 100% correct or worry about being hypocritical, people like me will still nod along as we read your blog and shake our heads as we read the comments from people that are trying to pick apart your thoughts... :)

[Marcoelitaliano]

same feelings
I'm with you 100% in this. When I started travelling in the 90s there were no low cost flights. There were simply two ways of moving around: either flying and paying the (right) price for the sort of (good) service you would get, or travel via bus or train, far cheaper options those days, and move overland. Either way it was a worhty experience. The introduction of lowcost flights simply barbarized the art of travelling. Though, I'm afraid, they are simply another expression of the sad times western world lives nowadays. And I'm afraid -again- that eliminating the idea of lowcost flights would not solve the problem. They are merely a symptom of something bigger. Marco