Last days in Hawaii

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21/04/09 = Hula dancing and a Pub Crawl

Woke up bright and breezy today with plans to go to Hanauma Bay and do the ‘best snorkelling in the world’. Sounded good. Not so good when went to office to check bus times and found out that Hanauma Bay closed. Something to do with damage limitation and preserving coral and marine life; it is closed every Tuesday. Bummer. Good idea though I suppose. Had breakfast and re-formulated plans; would go to Kailua Beach today instead = supposed to be most beautiful beach on Ohau. Went to get ready and yet again plans got shot down. Actually quite windy today in Hawaii and Kailua = the main area hit by the wind….it’s just not meant to be today. Had to go for plan C = eat a bit more and watch TV.

After TV and thinking, came to conclusion that was not a beach day; far too windy and quite cloudy. Decided to make most of the free hula dancing lessons at the Waikiki shopping centre - sounded cool anyway. Toddled off just before 12 and arrived early at centre, with no-one else there. Oh no! Worst suspicions also confirmed: no gym, no separate hall, just us and the third floor…would have to dance in front of everyone…and…I use the word ‘dance’ loosely! Space circled by cafes and people who were going to watch/laugh. How embarrassing. So happy when some other people finally did arrive; needed shields to hide behind. Do wish some more none dancers had come though. Could see the distinct flicker of grass skirts and hula skirts around me…can white linen shorts camouflage in this?

Instructor did a lot of talking to start with, about technique, posture and all those other technical things. I thought it was a little too much talking to be honest, I mean, she only wanted us to do a side step…how hard can it be? Turns out….very hard. Only had to step 3 times to the right and 3 times back to the left, but it’s quite unbelievable how wrong you can get that step. To hula, hips are supposed to be like a flowing, swinging pendulum. When I stepped, my hips slapped side to side like one of those mechanical dancing toys, with the top half of my body being dragged with it. Not a good start. She carried on talking, fired out more moves and we had 10secs to practise. She made everything look so easy. Even circling my hips I couldn’t do right. Every time I circled from the side to the back I could not stop my bum from jutting out and nearly wiping out the person behind me. Ridiculous. I’ve never been much of a dancer, but this was just a joke. The café people were watching a comedy show for the cheap price of a coffee.

A quick move to the side was o.k., the trying to balance on tip toes was diabolical and the bend was far from graceful; all this was before she even introduced anything to do with the arms. Apparently...they should just come naturally. Ha! They didn’t…at all! Now, she floated around while I shoved my hips side to side, rammed my bum to North, East, South and West in an attempt at circling, did some kind of quick side step, fell over while trying to balance on toes and bent down bow legged…all the while arms flailing around in the air above my head. I’m quite the hula dancer. Didn’t look at Debs, that would have definitely resulted in laughter and daren’t look at any of café people. We only practised whole thing twice - which was at least 100times shy of the amount of practise I needed - then scampered off out of centre. Could tell had done a workout because stomach muscles were aching = good, but could also tell I must have been doing it completely wrong, because back was aching even more than stomach = not good!

Walked back to hostel after that to get some hard earned lunch. Even managed to catch some of the O.C. whilst waiting. It’s well known that I’m a little obsessed with that programme and after nearly 7months cold turkey, contemplated not watching it and pushing through until got home. Caved in end and watched just one episode, then was v.good and left it to go back out. Now a little sunnier, so headed for beach. Found a spot and there we were for the next 2hrs. Not really hot hot, because there was a thin blanket of cloud in the sky, but still warm. Watched a v.funny but embarrassing argument between a body boarder and a life guard. Actually, he was either ‘skinning’ or ‘skimming’ - couldn’t fully make out the name of it - which was the cause of the argument. His board was made of hard, solid wood and ‘dangerous’, so the life guard said. His general reply noted something along the words of wasting tax payers money and being even less useful than the police. All in all, a v.funny argument to watch, especially since the life guards kept moving him on and he kept sneaking on.

At 4pm, was getting cooler, so headed back to the hostel. Used the internet for an hour - same old job - and then got ready to go out. Tonight = pub crawl night. Didn’t take long to put on the same old make up, mess up the always messy hair and put on the usual creased clothes - did I mention how glamorous travelling is? Wouldn’t usually bother because would have loads of other travellers to blend into, but in a place where everybody is on holiday of a lifetime, we did stand out a being on the scruffy side! Started at the Cabanas Pool Bar = a posh hotel bar. Met the PR guys outside and some other people who were also bang on time - can’t be late with Debs around. The first comment from the other couple on the pub crawl = “Wow…you guys have like accents”. Not we have ‘English accents’...just we have ‘accents’. Oh no! Made a mental note not to introduce myself to her or at least give a fake name if forced.

Moving swiftly on, went to sit at a table with our free drink and wasn’t long until a Canadian guy came along to sit with us = Dan. He was a nice enough guy and on his own, so didn’t mind chatting to him. Within the first 5mins he told us all about being on holiday with his dad who had also brought his internet girlfriend ‘Cindy’ and her son along. Not quite sure why he chose to divulge this, but interesting all the same. Chatted until the free dinner came out, then loaded up on that. It was without doubt one of the worst buffets had ever seen - nearly as bad as Mana - but were hungry, so loaded up anyway, much to disgust of an American girl: “A little thing like you can’t eat all that”. She wasn’t shocked, more horrified actually. Ate my cold spaghetti in cold tomato sauce with dry salad and hard bread and yes, I ate it all…we don’t have size zero in England!

10mins later, we went to the next bar = Nashville. Walk across was like a school trip with guys in bright jackets (distinctly cagoule like) stopping traffic and ushering us across like reception children The actual bar itself was really cool. Ohau does have good bars. It was just as the name would suggest, v.Nashville, with a complete country & western type theme. Got our free drinks, sat near the pool table and watched some of the crazy people from the pub crawl on the dance floor. It’s always a wondrous thing to watch other people when you are sober and they are drunk. The most entertaining was one girl (actually, she was probably a lady) who spent the whole time dancing round an imaginary pole, to an imaginary audience that she kept flashing to. In her head, she was definitely in a strip club…in reality, she was on the set of a country and western. Bugged JD the rep for another free drink. Declined the yager-meister (no idea how to spell that drink and don’t even want to know!) and settled for a ‘lemon drop’ = vodka and lemon. Nice enough. Was competition time then, which debated entering until found out what the game was. I’m possibly the worst person at downing drinks in the world, so ‘drink your beer the quickest’ was not a game for me. The organiser did it quickest - surprise surprise - and then we moved on to the next bar = Lotus.

Got another free drink in Lotus. *Note* Never ask for cranberry juice in Hawaii, what you will actually get is a thick, pink gloop that will stick to your throat and almost definitely kill something inside of your body. Disgusting. Drank, chatted and went to find JD for another free drink. Determined to get moneys worth. Didn’t find JD, but found drunken Dave = another of the PR people. He ended up buying me a drink - to stop me moaning at him I think - and then it was competition time. It was a game I could actually play: Simon Says. We all crushed onto floor and rushed through moves. He made it quite tough until there were just 3 of us in final, me, a guy and another girl. Close to victory when the PR man robbed us. Me and the guy made the same ‘correct’ move, the girl didn’t, but somehow she won. Outrage…the guy was even more outraged than me…“We’ve been robbed”. Oh well.

Next bar was Play Bar and was quite drunk at this stage…must have been all that Simon Says. Had to get the free drink - in hindsight, could definitely have done without it - and then chatted to some Australian guys who were also kind of travelling. Cranberry juice in a second drink was definitely a mistake! Chatted for a while until decided wanted another free drink. I’m sure it’s easy to guess where this night is heading. Again asked for JD, again got told he had gone home, but again some other random PR guy bought me a drink to stop me moaning. DEFINITELY did not need this drink and why did I ask for cranberry again!?! The next competition involved a guy, a girl and a groin…needless to day, I didn’t enter that one…not even the red gloop could get me onto that!

For the last time, moved onto Lava Rock = and R&B club. At this point, was more than a little drunk and with another free drink to cram in, things got a little hazy in the memory department to say the least. Can remember talking and dancing, but mostly dancing. Like the girl in the imaginary strip club earlier, I had decided I was in the movie Save The Last Dance. Found a cool black guy on the dance floor and spent the whole night proper R&B dancing. Well, in my head I looked awesome grinding and wriggling around, in reality, it probably looked more like my hula attempts earlier that day! We didn’t talk, spent the whole night dancing and no matter what I looked like, I had a really good time. Could have danced forever, but at 2am, it was time to start filtering out.

Spent the last half an hour chatting, drinking water to avoid a hangover - I do try to be a good girl - and then set off back to hostel at 2:30…still v.drunk. Water doesn’t have the immediate effect I would like. Collapsed into bed when got back to room and fell to sleep within 5mins = very me.


22/04/09 = Why do I still drink?

Well, prepare for the shortest entry ever. Woke up this morning feeling not too hot and so stayed in bed and snoozed until 10:30; sleep = hangover cure. Got up then, shuffled into kitchen for breakfast still not feeling cracking; breakfast = also part of hangover cure. Couldn’t face cereal, so had a crisp sandwich…in hindsight, probably not a good idea. Felt terrible immediately after chewed last bit, so had to shuffle straight back to bed. Oh no! And that is basically where the day ended. Spent the whole day and night in bed, not moving, not sleeping, not doing anything but feeling terrible. Not even going to comment on me and drinking…except to say that we are obviously not compatible! Poor Deb milled around watching TV and visited beach for a brief spell, I rolled around feeling annoyed at illness, but too annoyed to sleep!

Wasn’t until 9:30pm when finally surfaced out of bed. What a waste of a day! Deb had v.kindly bought and made me some soup at 8pm - it’s a well known fact that soup = the cure food for all illness - and did feel a little better. Hobbled to TV room still in bed clothes, ate some melon because appetite returning, then did the thing that would cure me once and for all…went to get some rubbish, no good for you food…a.k.a….went to McDonalds. Stayed in bed clothes - simply pulled something more suitable over top - then at 10pm, set off in search of McDonalds. Wherever you are in America, McDonalds is never more than 5mins away. Sure enough, found one just 5mins away up the main street. Gobbled down a burger and chips and felt instantly better. Bit disappointed in self because don’t really like McDonalds as a company and haven’t been in ages, but got to admit, that stuff is good hangover food!

Hobbled back to hostel and back to bed. Slotted straight back into the grove I had created from laying there all day and tried to get to sleep, surprisingly not tired. Can’t wait to wake up in morning and feel totally not ill 😊


23/04/09 = Rain on our last day in Hawaii

Woke up early feeling normal again…yeh! Trotted off and used internet for an hour, then Deb rang a friend from home (that’s you Gem x). Had a v.short, but nice chat, then got chatting to an English guy also staying in hostel…a fellow traveller actually travelling and not just on holiday. Had prepared self to go out and make most of day visiting snorkelling beach or Kailua, but it was raining 😞. Yes, raining in Hawaii…how did that happen? Since not in a rush to get anywhere, stayed and chatted to Essex lad for a while - travelling on his own, he was just glad to talk to people - and then after an hour of talk, it was still rain. Really disappointed. Last day in Hawaii and office man told us it was pretty much going to rain all day. What do you even do in Hawaii when it rains? No beach, no snorkelling and no paddle surfing for Debs. Even I was going to try some surfing.

At 11:30, after several episodes of One Tree Hill, we finally moved from sofa and did the one thing that rain cannot ruin…shopping! Headed to market and did some postcard shopping and jewellery shopping. Surprisingly, I wasn’t really in mood to shop! Close your mouth Mum…no doubt your jaw just dropped! Yes, I wasn’t in the mood to shop. Hawaii already claimed more than enough of my money, so like the sensible little girl that I am, decided not to shop. I can do sensible. Got postcards though and also met the best dog in the world. Don’t know what breed he was - the breed ‘cute’ I think - but was so clever. V.well trained and sat up on his hind legs for a treat. Owner put a snack on his nose and he wasn’t allowed to eat it until he heard the word “Aloha”. V.cool. He was a bit of cheeky monkey as well though, every time his owner tried to get anything done, he would randomly return to sitting upright and begging for treat. Too cute.

Got a tuna sandwich for lunch and back to hostel to eat. Huge sandwich went down v.well and all the better for the brilliant OC episode that accompanied it. You can’t beat the OC. Still raining outside = v.disappointing - so went to do the other obvious thing = use internet. Spent 3hrs blogging, until it was 5pm and felt totally drained with being on computer so long! Back to hostel again to get ready for Hawaii treat. Had already decided to spend last night at an all you can eat restaurant that was v.popular…and v.American. Went to find Jamie (Essex guy) to invite him along and end up as a group of 5 of us = me, Deb, Jamie, Helena (an English girl) and Jeremy (a Canadian guy). We all headed across to Smorgy’s at 6pm.

Paid our $12.50 for all the food, drink and dessert we could fit in and got a good table next to buffet. Was a strange kind of place and certainly never been to anything like it…v.American…so Jeremy said. Had trolleys and trolleys of food covering all tastes and nationalities. Had a starter section of soup and bread, a salad stand, a fruit stand, a bread stand, an Italian stand, a Chinese stand, a section of stews and even something that resembled a Sunday Dinner section for us English. They even had a guy out carving meat. V.exciting. Didn’t know where to start…just knew I was going to eat a lot. Being such a non-fussy eater = rubbish in this situation. Liked nearly everything going and knew I could never get through it all….although I could and would try!

Got my ‘homemade’ lemonade drink - although it was tasty, I doubt that lemonade was made in anyone’s home - then did the obvious thing and got my soup and bread starter. V.nice. All finished round 1, then back up again. Next course = Sunday dinner for me. In a situation like this, is important to eat the good stuff first, while you’ve still got room. They had thick gravy and quite tasty roast potatoes…shame about the Yorkshire pudding though…it wasn’t Yorkshire! It was actually a muffin and whilst me and Deb had the sense to steer clear, Jamie decided to try it and instantly regretted it. It actually was a muffin, sweet like a dessert and everything…and now covered in gravy. Gross. We all ate dinner while Jeremy ate plates of cranberry sauce (v.odd) and then up for course number 3. Ribs, stew and rice this time. Odd combo, but I was filling up…time to mix and match. All good and only 1 course to go now = dessert.

The desserts even had their own room; a room full of cakes, ice-creams and jellies. Cakes weren’t labelled, so had to take a bit of a guess with that, but the ice cream was really good. Could choose all own toppings and sauces…chocolate sauce and nuts for me of course. Ice-cream = good…can’t go wrong with that, but the cake…yuk! Didn’t know there was such a thing as bad tasting cake, but there is and that was it. Tasted like feet. Gross.

Was only 7:30 when finished, but re-filed drinks and chatted for a while. In theory, could stay until 9pm and keep eating if wanted to. Jeremy and Jamie were both really funny and had a really good time apart from feeling like I was being bitten - hate mosquitoes! Actually got kicked out towards end after sitting and chatting for hours. Back to hostel and trusty TV again. All still full - couldn’t manage any extra food after all - so crashed out on sofas watching Family Guy and Scrubs = quality viewing. Good group of people really; shame we didn’t all meet at beginning of week.

By 11:30, could face no more and mosied on off to bed. Was then that noticed bad rash on back of legs that were prickling. Really, really itchy and quite red and swollen. Oh no. No idea what done. Covered it in savalon and went to bed praying it would be gone in morning.

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Comments

[Shaun]

I have been reading from the beginning and I must say that I really love your blog Natalie. 'it tastes like feet' - that was a funny one that reminded me of 'Friends' :)