Water fights with lady boys


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Asia » Thailand » South-West Thailand » Ko Lanta
April 17th 2009
Published: April 18th 2009
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What kind of twisted world is it where you travel half away around the world and you still can't escape your old next door neighbour? Because that's the world we live in, Cathy our ex next door neighbour of ten years has come out to join us for a couple of weeks in Thailand. I had always suspected she was a bit tight with cash but I didn't think she'd come this far to recover the half a cup of sugar she lent us in May 2003.

First night with Cathy in Bangkok I'm afraid we might have talked the poor girls face off. Starved of conversation with people from back home we spent the evening vying for Cath's attention, talking over each other at 100 miles an hour and not letting her get a word in edgeways.
Next day we flew together from Bangkok to Krabi province. In Bangkok airport what stood out to me was the number of older men walking around with petite young Thai girls. Its not surprising that they are here, this is Thailand of course they are here. But I am surprised how many of these men walk hand in hand with the
nicenicenice

picturesque limestone pinnacles out at sea, they are surrounded by coral reef and good for snorkeling
girls almost like pairs of teenage lovers out for a stroll. Its the same here in Koh Lanta. One image that sticks in my mind was the sight of one greasy looking fellow in his late fifties sat in the reception area of the place we're staying in with one of these girls fawning all over him, publicly kissing and giving him a shoulder rub with him grinning smugly from ear to ear.
I've come to the conclusion that either (a) Some of these men are self deluded and believe the girls they are paying for actually like them "hahaha!"
or (b) they don't give a shit what anybody thinks and are showing off what they perceive as their own prowess in having a girl this young on their arm..... of still being able to pull.

But at the end of the day there's more than one side to the story. Some of these girls however petite and shy they look are actually hardened professionals who will fleece vulnerable men ( eg maybe a man whose come over here because his wife has died and he's lonely etc) for every last penny.
There's even other sides to the story as some Thai women work not just for the money but in the hope of securing an client as a boyfriend or husband at some point during their working lives.
Also there are a lot of non sex tourist European guys with much younger Thai girlfriends all over the place and some of them look very happy couples. At first I found it difficult to look at them without making dubious assumptions in my head, but there's so many variables at play I now try not to make any assumptions at all.

I didn't fancy coming to Thailand at first. The whole world knows that Thailand is a very popular package deal tourist destination. There are some beautiful beaches and islands around Koh Lanta but they're no secret, never having been to Thailand before it's hard for me to imagine that they ever were a secret. Yet everyone keeps telling me just 10 or 12 years ago some of the Islands everyone knows the names of today that are synonymous with packed beaches and bays full of boats and people on jet skis were virtually deserted.
I was worried we might end up somewhere in concrete development hell and I wouldn't like. My heart sank a little further when once onto Koh Lanta I saw out of the window of the taxi a sign and on it was big Union Jack flag with the legend 'Best English breakfast in town' written on it.
I do like an English breakfast, and I nearly cry every time England get knocked out of the world cup on penalties. But I know what the connotations of a sign like that mean. I went on enough beach holidays in the 1990's to the Med and have more memories than I need of my own countrymen and women pissed and wanting to fight the locals and each other, and generally acting in ways that have made us a standing joke all around Europe. I don't really want to stay anywhere now where a Saturday night out in Manchester is been played out in front of my eyes.

But in the end I needn't have worried. After a couple of nights at a nice but resorty type place we hired some mopeds and drove down to the Southern tip of Koh Lanta to see the national park. Here there's indigenous forest running right down to sandy bays which to look at remind me of parts of South Africa. The last half hour of road towards the end of the Island is untarred and in bad condition, which is probably (for the time being at least) discouraging over-development at this end of the Island. From the road we saw a beautiful and virtually empty crescent of sand called Bamboo bay. We drove down a really steep road and took a look round a place called the Baan Pu Lae. The staff were friendly and it was half the price of where we had been staying, we took a swim ate some lunch and decided to move our stuff here for the rest of Cath's time in Thailand.

The Baan Phu Lae is interesting because of the twelve or so staff half of them including the boss are either (feminine style) gay, or actual lady boys. It obvious most of the staff here are already friends and that makes for a good atmosphere. I thought there was only one lady boy at first, but it turns out there's two or three, could be more I'm not sure. This is only important to mention because you have be careful who you refer to as 'him' or 'her'. Apparently lady boys will go off their heads if you refer to them as a 'he'.
Its understandable, if you were go to through all the trouble and all the hormone treatments required to grow a pair of tits big enough to fit into a bra you wouldn't want to be referred to as 'him' would you? haha.
Its interesting to watch, they act every bit women from their postures and mannerisms all day until they play cards. Then they sit there with cigarettes hanging out the sides of their mouths slapping the cards on the table looking every bit serious blokes in a gambling den.

The day after arriving at Baan Pu Lae it was the morning of Thai new year, we had been pre-warned about what to expect. At breakfast there were kids with water pistols running around soaking each other but tourists holding cups of coffee seemed to have a temporary amnesty from the hostilities at that point. But it didn't last long, soon the music was cranked up, the party started it and was a free for all water fight between the staff and the guests. The boss threw a bucket of water and ice cubes down my back. All of us were drenched in about five minutes. So we gave up worrying about being wet and went for a swim in the sea.
I think I've been lucky so far not having any stomach problems since we left the UK, but in the water I felt a stabbing pain in my gut. Out of the water I felt like my stomach was swelling up and it became quite painful. So I had to retire from the fun and go and be sick a few times and lie down for a few hours until I felt better. When I made it back out most people were still soaking wet only now they had white paste daubed on their faces. I think this and the flour are symbols of 'purification' on Thai new year.
I've heard since that we got off lightly, in the towns the drenching of 'everyone' lasted 24 hours a day for a full three days.

Since new year we went on a snorkeling trip to 'Koh Rok'. We'd been on a similar trip a few days before called 'the
Thai new yearThai new yearThai new year

Lynn & Cath, Everyone had to wear a garland new years day, wish I had more photos but I was ill for a few hours
four islands'. But I thought the visibility was rubbish on that trip and a lot of the coral was damaged or dead (could be the fault of the tsunami of 2004). Koh Rock was different, the reef is only 2-3 meters or so below you and the water was crystal clear and teeming with marine fish. Like swimming in a fish tank. I saw more in 40 minutes snorkeling there than I did scuba diving one time on the great barrier reef in Australia and once in Sri Lanka.

Bamboo Bay was hit in the Tsunami. I spoke with the boss of the Baan Phu Lae over a few beers one afternoon and he told me his story of what happened that day. He said of his place and the neighboring place there were about 60 staff and guests on the Boxing day, none of whom died luckily.
He said he'd been awake for only 15 minutes that day when somebody pointed out that the sea was rapidly retreating from the bay and leaving fish and squid behind flapping around out of the water. Along with the guests he'd been 'having a good time' since Christmas eve and seeing
Thai new year - the boss 'pop'Thai new year - the boss 'pop'Thai new year - the boss 'pop'

I was careful not to let him squirt me from behind with his big weapon
the sea retreat 2-3 kms from the beach after only just waking up with a hang over was beyond what his brain could take in at that point. He said "it was like the sea was in a massive wash basin and somewhere out there a sink plug had been pulled"
(Looking at what must be the enormous amount of sea water in the bay today I can't even begin to imagine what that must have been like to watch)
Eventually the sea returned over running the beach and on into the bar area of the Baan Phu Lae to above ankle level. At that point it was still just a weird joke for everyone as there were sea creatures swimming around people's feet. But then he could see the white crest of a wave out to sea and hear what sounded like thunder as it got nearer. He knew all was not right so he moved everyone up the steep track behind the building and they watched as the wave hit. On returning they saw it had smashed up or taken away everything in the bar and restaurant area. Finally a third wave appeared on the horizon, he described it as being like a wall of water about three metres in height. This wave came in and smashed to bits all but the main structure of the building. Afterwards looking at the damage the wave did one of the weirdest things he saw was his washing machine that had been nearly twisted into a figure eight by the force of the water, his tumble dryer was washed away never to return.
The neighboring place was also budget accommodation and every single stick of the buildings there were washed away. Since then a new place has opened up on the same site only its more upmarket, the huts with the best view there are 80 quid a night, compared to 14 quid a night where we stay with the same sea view (although it has to be said our hut is really simple and 'no frills' )
I'm told this is a theme repeated in tsunami hit zones in Thailand. Encouraged by the government budget places (which Thailand was famous for) have been replaced in favor of accommodation built for the package deal market who spend more money. The lease for the Baan Phu Lae runs out in a couple of years and the next lease holders will probably push this place the same way.

We leave Thailand on April 25th, things I've noticed.....
*The Thai's if they can destroy the taste of all spicy food by adding coconut milk, even when they advertise the food as Indian.
*Only we fly around on mopeds and lie on beaches in the midday sun, the Thai's if they can go for a chat and a nap in the shade.
*The South of Thailand is mostly Islamic, but like I noticed in most of Malaysia and Borneo its a benign peaceful form of Islam, different to the type that grabs all the headlines. Even the call to prayer is melodic and a pleasure to hear first thing in the morning. Unlike I've heard in places like Egypt where they blast it out of tinny battered speakers at 5am like some kind of call to arms.



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LynnLynn
Lynn

acting like she's in some kind of hair product advert
Lizard despatching a scorpion to the next lifeLizard despatching a scorpion to the next life
Lizard despatching a scorpion to the next life

Near the bar, At least now I know scorpions are here, I'd been walking around the place bare foot for days
have you ever left a bar totally monged?have you ever left a bar totally monged?
have you ever left a bar totally monged?

A banglassi is a yogurt & fruit drink with weed or magic mushrooms in it, I didn't have one, my days of psychedelia are behind me.
Thai new yearThai new year
Thai new year

Girl swinging fiery things round


26th April 2009

What no mention of the abundance of Joan Collinses at Baan phu lae ? xxx

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