Greatest Place On Earth

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I didn't realize the two day Mekong boat trip involved one full day of bussing it from Chiang Mai to the river town of Chiang Khong. So my itinerary was pushed back a day. The bus ride was about eight hours and it wasn't bad. I checked into a guesthouse right on the river and could see Laos on the other side. I ate, and set off to check out Chiang Khong, which consisted of one main road about a half mile long.

I ended up in a football pub and met a huge group of English people that were on the slow boat the next day. Most of them were traveling alone and it was just a coincidence they were all English. I walked up to their table and asked if I could join them and it never struck me as odd. Some of them commented how they weren't sure if they could just walk up to a table full of strangers. After I thought about it, I realized that I wouldn't have done the same thing four months ago either. So that night, I realized one way I've changed in four months of traveling. I also ran into Simon again later at the guesthouse.

So the next morning, we got stamped out of Thailand, took a small boat over to Houy Xai on the Lao side. I got a visa on arrival and then got stamped into Laos, which has the unfortunate distinction of being the most bombed country in the world (I wonder if America had anything to do with that). The town's only ATM was broken so we had to exchange money at unknown rates, which is usually inevitably a bad thing, but things are so cheap here it didn't even matter.

One by one, I met up with all the English people from the night before. I also met Mike from Vancouver, and expectedly met back up with Sara, the girl from my jungle trek in Chiang Mai. Despite being told he was on the slow boat, Simon was actually booked for the speed boat, which was notorious for fatal crashes and general mismanagement. We wished him good luck and hoped we would see him again.

The slow boat was actually really nice. The scenery was good, they sold beer and we had about 60 people or so, so the two eight hour days went by pretty quickly. The captain was drinking Lao Lao Whisky the entire time and was visibly drunk. He kept almost forcing it to a bunch of passengers and they kept doing shots even though they all could barely stomach it. At one point, he brought out a couple fish that looked like raw minnows and gave them to Sophie and Annabelle, two English girls. I can't believe they actually ate them. Then later, he ran out of Lao Lao, so he stopped the boat and had one of his boat crew run up and refill the bottle. We were pretty sure that was the only reason we stopped.

After the first day, we stopped in a town somewhere along the river on the Lao side. Here I stayed in easily the worst room I've ever stayed in. This was one of those places where you don't even take a shower because you feel cleaner than the shower. It takes a lot if I say it was bad so, trust me, it was bad.

As I was checking in, I shut off the light and then tried turning it back on in a few minutes but it didn't work. I went out front and told the clerk the light was burned out and a few locals he was talking to started laughing. Turns out that everything runs on a generator, so once you turn it off, that's it. So he had to climb up the utility poll and turn it back on somehow. All of the sudden, the sign that said "Turn off your lights before you go to bed" had a new meaning.

I got dinner that night with Sara and Mike. We were offered opium at least five times in the five minute walk. Mike and I both ordered buffalo curry and agreed it was good. Oh, and we ate it while listening to Buffalo Soldier by Bob Marley.

The next morning it was pouring. Wasn't exactly the best start to the day but it was funny watching everyone try to walk down the muddy hill and avoid slipping. After we set off, we saw a speed boat zoom by and wondered if it was Simon's. All of the people were sitting in rows of two, with the posture you'd have on a roller coaster. And they were all wearing helmets and life jackets. Sophie and Annabelle on our boat said that a travel agent told them the helmets were for the noise. The whole thing was hilarious.

Sixteen boat hours after the start, we arrived in Luang Prabang right at dusk. It's the largest city in Laos and the whole thing is a World Heritage site. A bunch of us piled into a songathew (pickup truck with two benches in the back) and set off into the center of town. After the usual searching and haggling -- definitely my least favorite part of traveling -- we all got settled into a guesthouse and planned to meet up for dinner.

We ate and went to a couple pubs which had free pool tables. We also ran into Simon and he did in fact survive the speedboat. In Luang Prabang, all the pubs close at 11 pm, but then everyone goes to the bowling alley. So a bunch of us split a few songathews and headed to go drunk bowling. I think the average score was no higher than 60. We thought the bowling alley had some bizarre rules. They were completely fine with people smoking opium, but then they yelled when people tried to bowl with a blindfold. We stayed until 4 am and it was amazingly fun.

The next day, I met up with Diane (Welsh) and Noosh (American), two girls that I met on the slow boat. Then we joined up with Simon, Sara, Mike, and a bunch of other people and all went off to some waterfalls. They had a bear sanctuary there and I thought they had tigers too, but someone said they died recently. It was smaller than the Erawan waterfalls in Thailand but not inferior.

That night we went out for a repeat of the night before. And it was equally as fun. I had an absolute blast in Luang Prabang and I was really temped to stay longer. The only reason I left after three days is I wanted to get down to Vang Vieng for my birthday. Literally everyone I've ever talked to that has been to Laos has went on and on about how amazing it is. I tried not hyping it for myself but I didn't think it was possible to disappoint.

So I reluctantly left Luang Prabang and booked a minibus with Simon, Diane, and Noosh. But there were too many people for one minivan so we got split up for the ride down to Vang Vieng. The ride had unbelievable scenery, which was great at first, but after 4 or 5 hours being jam packed in the back of the van, the windy roads really made it a miserable ride. I think it was actually the least comfortable ride of the entire trip.

I met back up with the other three at the bus station in Vang Vieng, we took a songathew into town, and we found a guesthouse pretty quickly. We also met Amanda, Jess, and Natalie, three American girls, and all arranged to meet up for dinner that night. We had a good dinner and just hung out there for the rest of the night.

The next day -- my birthday -- we all met up again for the obligatory tubing in the river. Other than some nearby caves, this is the only thing in Vang Vieng. It used to be just a stopover in between Luang Prabang and Vientiane, but it developed into this huge party town with tubing, rope swings, slides and zip lines. Oh and when you pay, they write down what number tuber of the day you are on your hand in giant permanent marker. So as the day goes on, the lower your number is, the drunker you are. By the way, I was #18 and I saw numbers well into the 200s.

So basically you tube down the river and these guys at the bars throw ropes out towards you. You grab on and they pull you in. The first one had a terrifyingly high rope swing. I don't know why but I'm a lot more afraid of heights now than I was when I was younger, so these extreme activities aren't as much fun as they used to be. But I still went on all of them.

We were warned to be careful though. A lot of people get drunk and get seriously injured. Within the last week, one girl broke her leg and a guy lost a finger. At first we were cautious but then we started to get more daring. This involved things like me holding on the zipline while Simon held onto my feet, going off the ziplines backwards. But we got through the day with no injury other than sunburns. I think my sun block was bad; I bought it four months ago in South Africa.

We tubed the whole distance and went to almost every bar. We also played mud volleyball, which was probably the highlight of the day. It was a continuous cycle of picking up a ball of mud and throwing it at someone, throwing someone in the mud, and hitting the volleyball if you happened to see it coming your way. It took me about half the day to realize that Vang Vieng is the greatest place on Earth. If I decide not to come home, this is where I'll end up. But don't worry, I'm like 60% sure that won't happen.

Later that night, we went back to the same restaurant and had another great night there. The American girls left the next day but we met up with more of the English people from Luang Prabang. So we of course went tubing again. On one of the slides I went tandem with Amanda but she hit the water first and I landed on her head. So really sore ribs the next day ended up being my tubing injury. At least I still have all my fingers. We went to a few bars later that night but I was tired, sunburned and my ribs hurt. So I had an early night.

Today Simon left so all that's left are me, Diane, Noosh, Dan, and Nancy (two of the English group). I rented a motorbike this morning and drove out to a cave. The roads were so bad it wasn't as fun driving here as it was in Pai. But the cave was pretty neat. I had never gone caving before. There were a few parts where it was literally like a foot high so you had to crawl through. Didn't help my ribs at all.

Since most of the group I was with has started to dissipate, I think Diane, Noosh, and I are going to leave here tomorrow and go down to Vientiane. I'm only going to stay a night there maybe and then fly to Hanoi. Vientiane is not supposed to be great there but the rest of Laos has been unexpectedly amazing. I might even like it more than Thailand.

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Photos

Slow Boat
The shore at Chiang Khong

Slow Boat
Hour 5 of 16

Luang Prabang
The last and biggest of the waterfalls

Happy Menu
I never said we ordered from it

Birthday Dinner
Our favorite restaurant in Vang Vieng

Comments

[LYNS]

Well first HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!! I meant to write to you friday but we had jen and marks house warming party which was really fun i picked up john every1 was very excited to see him. Gaynell and a bunch of other people said to say happy birthday but i cant remember exactly who. Todays pretty exciting cause were gettin the stove,micorwave,washer,dryer,dishwasher delivered. I cant wait to eat oodles of noodles. We've been eatin a lot of take out and gram brings us food evrytime she comes and i was doin laundry at ericks house. It sucked not bein able to cook for 2 weeks. Your def gone at the right time. Nothin else really excitin happing same old stuff. Biggs from firk asks about you every tuesday and doc brought his mug from europe and poured his beer in there haha. Him and keck had a bday party but i babysat riley and amy went. The weathers cold already its suppose to b in the 40s this week. I cant wait til you come back so you can drop me off at the door so i dont have to walk thru the parkin lot. Your last blog sounded like you had the time of your life. But its time for my nap now ill talk to ya soon. Miss ya and Love ya lots!!!!

[The Lunch Crew]

Just wanted to say Happy Belated Birthday Justin!! And say we sure miss ya at the lunch table, you and your bowl of pasta.