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Published: October 15th 2008
"All clinics should have a protocol for all rape victims plus any person man or woman who wakes up in the morning realizing they have been stupid... Next month I will look at post exposure prophylaxis for rape and waking up in the morning realizing you have been stupid... Rape may be emotionally and psychologically horrific but the wrong boy friend can be equally dangerous medically. If you are raped or wake up in the morning realizing you have been stupid, see a doctor immediately.
"There are a small number of young, educated, non monogamous, non celibate men who are high risk and interested in you. Their risk may be 3 or 4 times the national average (MISSING). These YENMNCM's are well known to the Ugandan girls. They know full well these men cannot be trusted, want sex without being tested, and try not to use condoms. They know they are full of bullshit, are unemployed but pretending to be students working during their holidays, pretend to be 5 years younger than they really are, and hang around night clubs trying to pick up school girls. No. Ugandan women are far too smart and are not interested! In summary ctach 22: if he's safe he's not interested, if he's interested he's not safe. So what is the poor YENMNCM to do? Not a problem. He has found a never ending supply of gullible young women who are trying to prove they are friendly:
expat volunteers!
- "Health Review." The Insider's Guide to Uganda, Nov 2008.
So I'm going to need some pretty big balls to write what I'm about to write in a public medium. But it's exploding and leaking out of my ears every hour more that I try to hold it in. I'm not a bad person, man. I've volunteered over hundreds of hours over many years in America at hospitals, retirement homes, and schools less fortunate than mine. I care about people, yeah. I care about poor adults (some of them), I care about cute poor children, and maybe I even care a little bit about you.
Wait. Scratch that, it was all bullshit. You know what I really, really care about? Really poor black kids in Africa, and the sadder their faces the better.
Something good is going on here in Uganda. For some reason it is one African country that has actually made progress with the AIDS money flowing in, has a steady stream of white volunteers, has plenty of NGOs dotted around to give these white volunteers something to do. I bet looking at a pie chart titled "Uganda Annual GDP," you'd see a nice 80%!c(MISSING)hunk in yellow titled "Foreign Aid." I see why: it's a pretty country, beautiful people, lovely culture, greatly in need, lots of other white people, and extremely safe. This, my friends, is the REAL Africa for Beginners.
This is all well and good except that as a traveller here I have met some ridiculous amount of white American females who are volunteering here, on the streets, at the bars, in the hostels even... to the point where I almost feel like I'm not meeting anybody else. Sorry guys but I didn't come to Africa to meet white Americans only slightly dirtier than they are at home, especially ones that sans-invitation offer "exciting" details about the "work" they do and spew self-righteous, self-promoting nonsense (I had used to word "crap" there previously and struck it, but know that it is equally appropriate for substitution.)
So maybe THIS is all fine and good I suppose, I am interested the first couple times until I hear it on repeat over and over and over and all faces start blurring together, and I wonder why they are all running around on vacation and hanging out with their other white expat friends. It's kind of like a club here. This is just annoying and somewhat boring to encounter, but I can trick myself into thinking it is tolerable. What is not tolerable however is when I meet the ones that act like their 4 days of playing with underfed African children is completely life-altering. You know, they're like those people you meet traveling raving about how that Paulo Coelho book TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE!
Don't get me wrong. I'm sure come people come with big dreams in their heads and do sincerely want to try to help. My irk with this is that now being in Africa and seeing it first hand, how much are you really contributing anyways? Most people (sorry to say) come with absolutely no tangible skills past that of being able to play with cute children. You get some college kids who are "still learning," that's fine. The best are those that have been out of college, haven't really held a "real job," have no transferrable skills, and after speaking to them you wonder if anybody would hire them anyways. Perhaps only every 6th person I meet is doing something other than playing with cute children. The system is these American girls come in on some sort of holiday or vacation for a couple weeks, pay x amount of money to cover food, housing, and a donation to the NGO, and play with kids for the time that they aren't out traveling in the region surrounding. Sorry guys, but looking around it doesn't really seem like there is a shortage in the Ugandan population for people that can play with children for 2 weeks at a time to just leave them for their shiny American houses across the Atlantic Ocean. What there is a shortage of are doctors, health professionals, small business planners, etc.
VOLUNTEER IN AFRICA! All the cool kids are doing it!
I don't want to sound too cynical and bitchy about this, but I will. You have to see it to believe it. And you too will start to wonder, Is this for the local community, or more for the white person? It's always cool to pitch in and help out when you can. It's not your fault even if you aren't doing the most good but if you are doing it with a genuine heart. It's just hard to not be disillusioned when all the volunteers you encounter blare the same party line in an almost cult-like way. Even funnier yet is that some of these people never volunteer back in their home countries. As if Africa is the only continent in this world with poor, starving children. Why are they doing this work, here? Do they/we feel the need to sit and stare at the cliche poor people in Africa first-hand to make us feel somewhat human again?
Would these people be volunteering if they couldn't run back to America gushing to their friends about how they spent 6 days with AIDS orphans in Africa (and how it subsequently TOTALLY CHANGED THEIR LIVES!?)...
Would they be volunteering if they needed to be digging wells for these orphans instead of playing soccer with them?
Would they still be doing this without the bragging rights?
I know this entry may seem a bit one-sided, but that's fine. I'm no saint either, I've dedicated the last two years of my life to The Man, working for Corporate Financial Switzerland which is no better than Corporate Fast-Food America. But hey man, I know who I am and where I'm headed, I don't need to prove anything. Even the volunteers fresh off the boat wake to a disappointing reality. One volunteer I met told me on arrival she had dinner at the NGO owner's house. Only it wasn't a house, it was a mansion. And it wasn't a mansion for Africa, it was a mansion for Texas... REALLY? You OWN an NGO and you're living in impoverished Africa in a SOUTHERN AMERICA MANSION with only 3 children? Anything seem out of sync here to anybody else?
Before the hate mail starts flowing in... I do believe in volunteer work in Africa. I also believe in volunteer work in South America, Asia, the Middle East, and your home country. I believe there are people doing amazing things all over the world, and also of course here in Africa. We all know there is a good side to the volunteer work and I needed to write this if only to play Devil's Advocate.
Only not really, just kidding. Actually some (SOME) of these traveling volunteers on vacation are really driving me insane. Consider the sample in question. Fortunately we have people who are actually doing real work who may not have time to prance around the continent promoting themselves, fuck around, and get fat off the local brews. So let's call a spade a spade, shall we? If we're going to be kicking it on the backpacker trail together doing selfish traveller things, just enjoy it. You're real cool as a person, just not as a volunteer. Don't talk to me about your cliche orphanage work and do NOT tell me how it is changing your life as you down another Kamikaze after guzzling on a beer bong while trying to pull the Aussie on your left.
It's frustrating to encounter, but this seems to be much of the way it is here. Eye opener.
But to all the volunteers and NGO workers who haven't had time to booze every night, to hook up with unimpressed travellers and YENMNCM, gush about "your work" to all the Westerners on your vacation from volunteering... Cheers to you guys, sure wish I could be meeting more of you.
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Former Volunteer
non-member comment
RE:
Amen to this. You are saying it like it is. It's a real eye opener, but what gets even more frustrating is when you meet these "wonderful" people back at home sounding like mother Teresas' trainees, saying the same carbon-copy stories about orphans and AIDS. I don't believe in a few weeks or even a few months volunteers. It cannot possibly be enough to understand the complexities of the problems, let alone to be of any use solving them. Even organizations like Peace Corps have major downfalls with its short terms, lack of training, and lack of accountability. So thank you for writing it like it is. There are a lot of money in international aid. So much, that it is overwhelming to think about it. Yet, the "development" is going at a snail pace. But that's another story for another place. I just wanted to second your opinion and hope that those who are considering "vacation volunteering" internationally can rethink that idea and focus their short-term energy into establishing and committing themselves to a long-term solution instead. OR just go on vacation, enjoy yourself, take a safari, overpay for your trip, and just boast of the animals, not the orphans. The end.