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Published: October 12th 2008
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Ulcinj beach
View from the cliffs of the beach at Ulcinj Morrissey may well have written "Everyday is like Sunday" about the British seaside town, but he really should come to Montenegro in the off season. Nobody else does.
Ulcinj, our first arrival point on managing to get out of Albania, is heaving with tourists from June until August, but in early October the only people about were the 10,000 townsfolk. Many shops, bars and cafes had closed for the winter.
For the first time on the trip, we had nothing booked in advance, neither our transport from Albania or a bed for the night. But we were conspicuous with our backpacs and within minutes we had been sorted out with a private room in the detatched wing of a family home for four euros each. Congratulating ourselves, we roamed the tatty new town area and had some dinner, before realising that there was very little to do. We had no map of the town and couldn't work out the way to the sea as hills seemed to be on all sides of us. We settled on a bar to watch some Champions League football.
Ulcinj is the only town in the country where ethnic Albanians form the majority of the population, and was a popular refuge for Kosovans during the recent conflicts. A monument has been put up from the large Kosovan population of Ulcinj thanking the town for its hospitality. Ulcinj has a fascinating history. For around 300 years it was used by north Africans as a pirate base, and children were sold as slaves on the main square. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the only clue we saw was some pirate bandanas on sale in a market shop - people would probably rather forget about the town's seedy past.
The following day we made it our mission to find the beach and the old town and in such a small place it didn't take us long. The Mala Plaza beach is set in a bay with hills on either side. We had a drink on the deserted promenade before climbing the steep hill to the old town which has spectacular views over the Adriatic and Ulcinj. Most of the swanky restaurants which have seized on the location here were closed, and there was little of interest apart from a few stray cats roaming around, so we walked back up to the new town for lunch. Whilst dining, an argument broke out between a couple in their late teens outside a pub opposite. She had blatently cheated on him and he kept coming outside to where she was to tell her to go away. She didn't heed his warnings, so he slapped her good and proper right around the chops, leaving a bright red mark on her face. You can't beat a bit of live domestic violence.
We caught a bus up the coast to Bar, where we were sat in front of four irksome teenage girls who claimed to be 17 but were actually about 14 who kept playing with my hat and asking if we were married. Fortunately, the journey was only half an hour long and had enough jaw-dropping scenery of the mountains and the sea to be bearable.
Again, it didn't take us long to find a bed, calling in at a restaurant close to the bus station with "sobe" (Serbian for rooms) above the sign. This accommodation was 10 euros but a big step up from the room in Ulcinj, which in the end proved to be a little scummy with unwashed bedding and a dank bathroom which neither of us was brave enough to use for a shower. Four euros though, rude to complain.
Bar is a port town and probably the busiest city on the Montenegrin coast, but that really isn't saying much. The main attraction is the Stari Bar (Old Bar), a 1,000 year old enclosed village containing a fortress and preserved churches. It's closed between October and April though, so wasn't much good to us. We made do with a walk down to the harbour, from where ferries to Italy leave, and around the town stopping at a few bars (well it would be rude not to in Bar) to kill some time because, once again, this really isn't a place for the tourist at this time of year. Being a port town, it is also a little grittier than Ulcinj, although it is set against a striking mountain backdrop.
We spent the evening drinking in a pub with a friendly Serbian barman who chatted about football and the old Yugoslavia. He showed us photographs of his young family and several (some free) pints later we found ourselves in a lock-in with some of his friends before he kindly drove us back to our base.
The following night we were to travel up to Belgrade on the train, but we decided we really ought to see the capital Podgorica before we went. We got up early despite hangovers to catch the 10am train, which proved to be a big mistake. We had ten hours ahead of us there, we were bored in less than one. It is a small city of around 150,000 and there is little or nothing to see. We walked around the shopping district and called into the home of FK Buducnost, the biggest football club in this small nation, before cursing our decision not to get the 1pm train in Bar, which would have only seen us bored for about seven hours. We had nowhere to go, and the night train left for the Serbian capital at 10.05pm.
We decided to while away some hours in an internet cafe. Trouble is, there wasn't one. Lonely Planet listed one but it either doesn't exist anymore or is hidden deep underground like in a Bond film. Usually of course, resourceful as we are, we would have stayed in a bar and got twatted on cheap beet, but we were still feeling a little delicate and the suspiciously undercooked "hamburger" I had eaten for lunch from the bus station cafe was playing merry hell with my digestive system. So we roamed the streets like zombies, looking fruitlessly for something to do.
Montenegro is a beautiful country but being so small and new, it is reasonably quiet. Go to the coast in season and take the girlfriend or wife, but avoid Podgorica unless someone puts a gun to your head or you like whiling away time in bus stations. Believe me, Sundays in English coastal towns really aren't that bad.
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dolce vita
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well, i have to say you missed 99% of what Montenegro is actually about. Ulcinj and Bar are definitelly the last places on the coast of Montenegro, in the means of tourism/sights. Why the hell you didn't read up about Montenegro before visiting, only 35km up the coast from Bar is Budva, right now officially ranked as a coastal town with the highest number of multi-millioners in the world (yes, it surpassed Monaco in 2007, according to Forbes magazine). Kotor, Bay of Kotor, Perast, Cetinje, Ostrog, Herceg Novi, Lovcen, Durmitor, Tara canyon, .. just have a look online, and see what YOU COMPLETELY MISSED.