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Published: March 30th 2008
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Agape House Chapel
Frank and Annie and son Samuel are standing outside their life's work. A chapter or so ago, I referred to Agape House--a Christian drug and alcohol rehab/offenders' halfway house near here, run by our friends Frank and Annie (both ordained ministers). So am I ordained now, by the way, but only through an Internet site that offers undergraduate and graduate degrees based on "life experience". Better than nothing for the time being, I suppose.
Be that as it may, Frank told me that guilt is a huge thing in the minds of some of the "brothers and sisters" (as he calls them). They know that their addictions and life choices have caused great suffering to loved ones. He asked me to preach on guilt and forgiveness (in consideration of getting rid of a dog Suzanne and I had euthanized recently), so I did. I spoke in English, of course, with Frank translating for me. He's pretty good, having lived here for more than twenty years.
Here is my text:
"Guilt and Forgiveness: The Venom and the Antidote
Good morning to you all. How I love telling stories! And how I love having an audience!
It might seem strange to start a talk, a talk about guilt and forgiveness,
Cindy is the Social Worker...
...for the women's program in downtown Hualien. by telling you a little story from the famous American comedy “I Love Lucy”. Lucy was a very kind woman, who was greatly distressed when her best friend Ethel had had a furious argument with her husband Fred. Ethel and Fred had been married for a long time, and their bickering was one of the foundations of the long-running television series. Lucy tried to resolve the dispute, by asking Fred why he was so angry. Fred, spluttering, said “Ethel said my mother looks like a weasel!” Lucy then said, “Oh Ethel. That wasn’t a very nice thing to say. I think you should apologize to Fred.”Ethel reluctantly agreed, and said “OK. OK. I’m sorry that your mother looks like a weasel.”
My topic this morning is guilt and forgiveness. In Ethel’s apology and Fred’s predictable reaction to it, there was neither.
When a person is bitten by a venomous snake—and there are a few of those in Taiwan—sometimes his life can only be saved if a doctor gives him an antidote—something to take away the effects of the venom.
Guilt and forgiveness go together, like venom and its antidote.
I know what you are thinking. “First
"Father Doug" and Rev. Frank
It will be years before I'm anywhere near good enough to do this in Chinese. this guy talks about American TV shows, then he talks about snake venom. He sure jumps around. The next thing you know, he’ll be telling us that venom is a good thing.”
Well it is.
The chemicals in snake venom have many medical applications, and they are used, for example, as muscle relaxants. Since snake venom attacks the central nervous system, it can often be used in the treatment and cure of neurological disorders.
Snake venom and guilt are similar.
Both are harmful, and yet they both serve a useful purpose.
Venom enables snakes to overcome prey and to protect themselves from enemies. Guilt does some good too. Listen to what the Bible says about it.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. --2 Corinthians 5:17
In other words, God doesn’t care what you did, or what you were, before you found your way back to Him. He only cares that you are now safe, at home, loved and cherished, one of His own.
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
--Hebrews 8:12
That is to say. God doesn’t even want to remember the things you did wrong. They just don’t matter any more.
Jesus, on the cross, paid the price for you. Your sins and wrongdoings are gone, taken out with the garbage, removed from you forever.
Think of sin as a stain on your best shirt—and then think of your clean shirt hanging on the line and the dirty water from the washing swishing away down the sewer. That is what Jesus does for you—He lets you have the clean shirt and He takes away the dirty water.
There you have it.
People feel guilty because they know that the things they have done wrong have caused harm, sometimes grievous harm, to others. Sometimes the harm is to strangers, sometimes the harm is to loved ones.
The antidote neutralizes the venom, and forgiveness neutralizes guilt. So, what good does guilt do in the first place?
Nearly all of us, except psychopaths, feel guilt. We know that what we did was wrong, we know that people got hurt because of what we did, and we also know that we went ahead and did it anyway.
Guilt, when properly applied in our lives, helps us to live the way God wants us to live. God invented pain to help us protect our bodies from harm. He invented guilt to help us protect our souls from harm.
Anything, taken in excess, is harmful.
A few months ago, a radio station in New York City had a contest to see who could drink the most water, and one contestant tried so hard to win that she died. Water serves a purpose in our lives, but it is fatal if you take too much of it. You should only drink until you don’t feel thirsty anymore.
You should only feel guilty until you have determined not to do again whatever you did wrong in the first place.
Sometimes we LIKE to feel guilty, because we consider ourselves to be unworthy of happiness.
Do you believe that? Some people think that they don’t deserve to be happy!
This is the exact opposite of God’s plan for us.
Forgiveness will take away guilt.
Forgiveness comes from three sources:
1. from whomever we harmed
2. from God, and
3. from ourselves.
Sometimes we still feel guilty even when someone else forgives us. Maybe we doubt the sincerity of the person, or maybe being forgiven just makes us feel worse.
Don’t you just hate it when some people are SO Christian that you just want to smack them?
Sometimes we still feel guilty even when God forgives us.
Maybe we do not consider ourselves worthy of such complete, nothing-in-return forgiveness. We are trained to be suspicious of whatever is free.We never feel guilty after we forgive ourselves.
Please repeat after me:
“I am sorry for the wrong that I have done. I know that God will forgive me—all I have to do is ask Him to do so. I don’t know if the person I have wronged will forgive me—maybe it’s too soon or maybe the damage is too deep. I do know, however, that if I can forgive myself, as God has forgiven me, I can move off the position of pain and self-hatred and be the person He wants me to be.”
God bless you and keep you, brothers and sisters.
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Jim
non-member comment
Doug hits the nail on the head.
It made me feel good to read your sermon Doug. You are not as dunb as you look! You must be getting wiser as well as older. Your sense of humour hasn't changed, but I see you have reigned it in a little on this occasion. The orient agrees with you. Keep up the good work. I still count you as a friend. Love Jim