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Published: November 26th 2007
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here comes the sun
in-flight sunrise on the way to Japan Whilst in Indonesia, I took an internal flight with some Indonesian airline I had never heard of. I have no fear of flying, yet I was slightly concerned about this flight. Indonesian airlines have one of the worst safety records in the world. None of them are permitted to fly into ANY European Airport because of this. Apparently, when European airlines remove their planes from service, they sell them to the Russians. When the Russians have finished with them, they sell them to Indoneisa. Or so the rumour goes
Here are a few stories I have heard about whilst in Indonesia....
1. Pilots from an Indonesian airline recently went on strike and refused to fly. The airline had wanted them to skip the pre-flight safety checks so they could have a faster turnaround of flights
2. The navigation system and other equipment failed on one Indonesian flight, and the pilots got lost. They had no idea where they were! So they came to a lower altitude to try and spot some familiar land. The eventually found land, and came in for a closer look. They saw a runway and decided to land. Unannounced! I imagine flight control were
small engines for such a big plane
will they really get us off the ground? most suprised to see an unauthorised plane coming in to land. The passengers disembarked and the pilots tried to find out where they were. It turns out they were in East Timor, and when they realised, they panicked and took off again, leaving the passeners stranded. The pilots were later sacked (
note - I have some doubts about this story, but it is what I heard from someone!)
3. One plane landed in Jakarta and was so structurally unsound that the main body of the plane simply snapped in two upon landing
4. The Mayor of Sumatra (one of Indonesia's islands) was on board a plane. He was part of a shady deal involving a fruit called Durian, a rugby-ball sized fruit which can be very expensive. There is big money in durian. At first the airline refused to take his substantial personal shipment of durian on board, but as Mayor, he used his clout. As a result, the weight limit of the plane was grossly exceeded and the plane crashed whilst trying to take off
5. A Swedish guy I met was on a plane bound for Jakarta. The weather was bad, and the pilot tried
Cassette Shop
this was taken in the duty-free area of Jakarta Airport. Can you believe that people are still buying cassettes? unsuccessfully to land three times. He announced over the tannoy "ladies and gentlemen, we only have enough fuel left for one more landing attempt" The next attempt failed also! As a passenger I would have been rather concerned, if not mildy terrified. As it turned out, the last landing effort still left enough fuel as a safety margin to re-route to another airport. They landed in Kuala Lumpur.
So it was with some trepidation that I boarded the airplane. All the planes I had flown so far have had big beefy engines on the wing. This tired old plane had two small engines mounted on the tail fin, and I looked at them in dispair, thinking "do they really have enough power to get us off the ground?" They did. But these same engines had a worrying change of pitch halfway through the flight. "Are they meant to sound like that?!" I thought. It didn't help matters when the pliot SWOOPED out of the clouds as we came in to land, as if he was on a kamikaze mission. But we landed safely and I almost kissed the ground.
I was very pleased to be flying Japan Airlines
standing on the wing of a low flying plane
Not really. Just wanted to get an extra photo on here. This was actually taken on the top of Mount Batur, Bali. to Tokyo, my next stop. Very good with technology are the Japanese, and I was confident their planes would be first rate. I was right. We didn't crash.
I had heard rumours that free upgrades to Business Class were possible, at the discretion of the check-in staff. But I'd also heard that they've heard every trick in the book. "I'm pregnant, can I fly first class?" or "It's our honeymoon, can we get an upgrade?". So I thought a smart appearance and a bit of honesty might work. So when I got to the airport for my Tokyo flight, I nipped into the toilet and changed out of shorts and sandals into jeans, smart trainers and shirt. I approached the check-in desk and spoke to the gentleman in Indonesian, wishing him Good Afternoon and asking him how he was (that's the extent of my Indonesian). We had a bit of friendly banter, then I leaned in close, looked left and right, and whispered conspiratorially "I know this is a long shot, but I've never flown first class before. Would there be any chance of a free upgrade?" He looked down, tapped away on his computer and said "sorry sir, I would, but first class is full today". Gutted! I shall keep trying though, throughout my trip. One day, free champagne, heated blankets and gourmet food will be mine!!
Since this blog entry has a general aviation theme, here's a bit of airline trivia for you to finish off with
1. If you arrive at the airport late and your check-in desk has closed, it may still be possible to board the plane. This is entirely at the discretion of the Duty Manager for that airline. Ask to speak to that manager, and be polite. He will use his walkie-talkie to speak to the ground crew. Many airlines use a pre-arranged signal. If he starts with the phrase "would it be possible" (for a late passenger to board), then he is asking the ground crew to say it's too late. If he starts with the phrase "we have" (a late arriving passenger), then he's asking the crew to say there is still time. This way, he can have control over turning down rude and abusive passengers whilst still appearing to have tried to help
2. Normally, pets have to be stowed in the hold. But under US aviation law, "Celebrity Pets" are allowed in the passenger cabin, provided the owner provides a customised seatbelt and a cushion for them to sit on. The term "celebrity pet" does not apply to the pets of celebrities. Paris Hilton's dog would be shoved in the hold. The animal has to be a celebrity in it's own right, and have appeared on TV or in film
3. You will notice many airports have no clocks inside. Why is this? It would seem to be an essential item for airports, which rely on people being on time for flights. Well, usually, the company who owns the actual airports also fines airlines up to £1,000 a minute for delays. So, when a checked-in passenger misses the last call for his flight because he's shopping and didn't realise the time, his baggage has to be taken off, and the airline is fined for delays
4. People who don't eat on flights are noted by the cabin crew and reported to customs. Missing one meal on a 4 hour flight is OK. But if you turn down all three meals on a 14-hour flight, you get tagged. Why? This is a classic sign that someone is smuggling swallowed condoms containing drugs
5. Check-in staff have an instant messaging function at their stands. If you ever think it's taking an awfully long time to check you in, and there's a lot of typing going on, they might be on the messenger! If you are rude to them, they will messenger the other check-in staff to see if they know any bad seats they can put you in. Eg next to someone with a screaming baby that might have just checked in, or next to someone with bad BO etc
(if this kind of trivia interests you, read "Air Babylon" by Imogen Edwards-Jones. An excellent read!)
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Francoise
non-member comment
there are clock in UK airport!
Hi Pete, Nice to see you are still having a great time...I am almost 100 %I saw some clock in Heathrow ,Gatwick and Standead! xxFrancoise.