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Published: November 18th 2007
Our Plane
Dorothy boarding our ride to Moloka'i. A 9 passenger.It is a rainy day (my first so far) in Waikiki, so I thought I would catch up on the travelblog while eating Hurricane Popcorn (Korean BBQ flavor).
Could it be the "island of the Lepers" reputation? Or maybe because it has no stop lights, fast food chains, Starbucks or any buildings bigger than palm trees? Whatever the reason, much to my delight, Moloka'i has been "left behind" the rest of the U.S. It seems to closest to a deserted island that we will see in the states.
Neither me or my friend, Dorothy, had been to Moloka'i, so we booked a flight and planned on camping 2 nights (which turned into 4 because we loved it so much). We packed our stuff and carried it to the plane (no security on the way home). We boarded our little 9 seater and took off. Our plan was to get a camping permit when we arrived, since it was a weekday and very unlikely to be crowded. It turned out that ANY day was very unlikely to be crowded. In fact, if we saw anyone in the campground or on the beach at all, it was unusual.
I
Our Pilot
The pilot has to load/unload baggage, entertain us, and get us to the island in about 30 minutes. love, love, love Moloka'i. I want to marry it.
I want to preface the following stories by stating that we were on a very small island, where everyone knows everyone, and where the access on and off the island is limited. That is why I was not so suspicious or afraid of people. I figured if there were dangerous freaks on the island, they wouldn't last.
Eddie:
After Dorothy arrived back to our campground on the 2nd night, we decided to sit in the van, because it was so windy outside, and read. I left to go to the bathroom and when I returned, I noticed a truck that was not there before. When I passed the truck a man got out and said hello, then asked me to see our permit. He was wearing a white uniform shirt with a badge, had a walkie/talkie and was carrying a big flashlight. I went to the van and got the permit, then followed him back to his truck to talk to him. He told me his name was Eddie and he was an Air Force Veteran and lifelong Moloka'i resident. He also told me he had a girl working
Dorothy's House
The big, tall building on the right. on her Master's in Washington and two teenage boys. We talked story for over an hour when Dorothy decided she needed to see what was up, so she joined us outside under the full moon and listened to Eddie spin his tales. He was so funny, telling us about the firefighter that took his jet ski to Maui on a McDonald's run and how the fry's were still warm when he came back. Maui is about 13 miles from Moloka'i. He also told us how many of the incoming planes smell like McDonald's because of the locals bringing food back from Oahu or Maui. He told us of that the island only has two holding cells and if they happen to arrest more than it will hold they just let the lesser criminal go. Eddie was great and very informative, telling us the locations of the best beaches. There was a beach cove Eddie told us about, only accessible by foot or high clearance vehicle that was supposed to be the best, most picturesque place on the island. He also told us about all the deer that hang around the campground all night and he said we would hear them
My house
Just out of frame on the bottom right. barking. We did. Unfortunately, the full moon was behind Eddie's head the entire time, so we never got a good look at him. We spent the next several days playing "Where's Eddie?". We asked everyone we spoke with if they knew Eddie. It turned out our waitress knew him and said that his sister was the manager at the restaurant. She also pretty much gave us his entire romantic history. Too funny. Everyone knows everyone on this island of 7000 or so. Koa also gave us the DL on Eddie, but Koa's version was a little different.
Ultimate Fighter Koa:
Dorothy and I were too drunk to drive home after going to the annual Maui Aids fundraiser "Jungle Boogie" Drag Show (more on that later), so we slept in the van, in the parking lot of Peddler's (the local bar), until 4 in the morning, when I awoke and drove us back to the campground. When I pulled in (Dorothy was still sleeping in the back), there was a little green/blue pickup with a white camper top in the parking lot. There was also a guy with a big dog standing outside the truck. The vibe was not great,
but I was tired and wanted to lay down, so I got out of the van (Dorothy remained in the van, I told her about the weird guy outside) and I took the keys, figuring I would hit the panic button should things become uncomfortable. I said hi, he said hi, then I went into the tent, blew up my air mat and went to sleep. I later heard the truck pull away. The next morning I awoke to Dorothy telling me that the guy from last night came by and asked if she had seen his lost dog. It was a blue pit bull puppy. She assumed he was the guy from last night, but I told her the guy from last night had a big dog, not a pit bull. We thought maybe he had two and one was lost. Later, I walked down to the beach to check out the surf and a local guy came up to me and asked me if I had seen a blue pit bull puppy. This was not the guy from last night. I told him no, then proceeded to tell him about the guy from last night. He said the
guy in the truck was named Ernest and he was a thief. He also introduced himself as Tyson "Koa" ...something. He said he was an ultimate fighter and lived in Las Vegas most of the time, but gets to make it home once in a while. He felt that maybe Ernest the thief stole his puppy, once he found out that Ernest was hanging around. He suggested that Ernest was also out to steal our stuff and that we should just tell him to beat it if we see him again. Then Koa asked me if I wanted to attend an ultimate fighting show in Honolulu on December 12th. I declined since I would be on a plane to Florida on that day, but I told him I had friends that would be interested. He gave me his number and told me to call him with the amount of tickets I needed. I also told him I knew some single local girls, since he indicated that there were very few on the island and that had he or his friends known that we were camping there, they would have come down to harass us until we ran them off. They
Aloha Moloka'i
Papohaku Beach. Our new home for the next 5 days. are just that desperate. To harass two auntie's. Maybe he was just being kind. Anyway, he was really nice and funny and of course, we asked him if he knew Eddie. He said indeed he did and that Eddie is known as Short Eddie. He also told us Eddie is not a park official and that he is known to be up in everyone's business and pretends to be a cop and harass people. He even, allegedly, pulled over and elderly lady and wrote her a ticket on notebook paper, telling her the island doesn't have printed tickets, for speeding (doing 23 in a 15). Koa said the lady believed him and even took the notebook paper ticket to the police station to pay.
So now Dorothy and I are stunned. Were we duped by tEddie? Was he really some crazy guy that went around fake checking camping permits? He was so nice. When we asked around about him, we found that maybe he did something for the parks, no one knew for sure. Maybe he was some type of security. The waitress said she didn't know about some of the things Koa told us, but she also didn't
Papohaku Beach
Our campground know Koa. That was weird. Maybe Koa was the one that duped us. We'll see. I am going to call him soon to request those fight tickets. He seemed really nice, as well, so who knows?
Queens of Moloka'i:
We were set to leave on Saturday the 27th, so we packed up and headed to Kalaupapa Lookout to kill time before we had to go to the airport. Once we got to the lookout we became obsessed with getting down to the peninsula. We decided to extend our stay, if it wasn't too much money. I called our airline and found that it was only $30, so we went for it, only to find out that Kalaupapa is closed on Sunday. We went into town and saw the farmer's market and found Tasha, the banana bread girl. Tasha asked if we were going to the big Drag Queen show tonight. She said they have this every year around Halloween and it was one big party. We decided to check it out. After telling Tasha we would see her there, we went to Peddler's (the bar hosting the Drag Queen show), to get tickets. The show was crazy. Evidently, all
Our campsite
There was one other couple, from London, in the campground when we arrived. The last two days, we were alone. the queens flew in on the same little plane. I'm sure that was priceless. The girls were big and bold. The audience was drunk and mostly female. It was more like a strip show than a drag show. Most of the queens had good size breast implants and some of them were topless, spare a little tape, of which the MC announced, "Dig deep people, tape is expensive!" There was even a hula girl queen. It was truly bizarre. Unlike any drag show I have seen. The audience didn't tip well. The music was off half the time and there was not much room on the dance floor for the show. And apart from the drag queens, there were not many gays there. We did, however, see Tasha and she bought us lilimoi daquiri's. They were delicious and lethal, hence the sleeping in the parking lot after the show.
On our last day on the island, we went to Make Horse Beach. Make Horse is adjacent, yet inaccessible, to Papohaku. The surf was a little too strong for us to enjoy so I decided to climb over the rocks to nude beach and see if it was any better
there. There were only two people there, a couple, not nude, from Washington. I talked with them about 30 minutes, then headed back over the rocks to Dorothy. I drank some water, then headed back over the rocks and continued to climb/hike along the coast until, after about 30 minutes, I reached this cove that Eddie told us about. It was virtually empty apart from 3 kids (I say kids, but they were probably in their early twenties).
There were 2 girls (they didn't seem local) and a boy (he did seem local) on the beach when I climbed down from the rocks. We exchanged hello's and I asked if this was the best beach on the island, as I have been told. They said it was and I told them I hope so because I just walked about a mile to get here. One of the girls asked "Over the rocks!?" (apparently they drove a high clearance and/or 4x4 vehicle down the road) and I answered "yes." Then the boy said "You like one water?"
How nice is that? EVERYONE we ran into (with the exception of a lady working behind the counter in a convenience store...guess
what ethnicity she was? No really, guess) was so nice, both locals and visitors.
On our last morning, we stopped at the Kanemitsu Bakery to get coffee. The parking lot was full of trucks. The dining room was full of men. Mostly construction types, all having their breakfast before heading off to work. After we had coffee, we went to the little, tiny airport where we didn't go through any type of security and we had to carry our bags out to the plane. We had a couple of pranksters as pilots and we thoroughly enjoyed the ride. I will be back to Moloka'i.
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Dave
non-member comment
Happy Feet
Love the happy feet and happy fins titles. Very clever. I may borrow those lines in a pic of mine, but I will give you credit. Keep up the good work!