Selfish Flake!


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Asia » China » Shanghai
September 26th 2007
Published: September 26th 2007
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So I did something a little selfish and flakey.

For the past few weeks I've been volunteer teaching English to a group of adults. When I signed up to do this in June, I had the intention to study Mandarin in Shanghai through October. I have enjoyed the class and it's been an awesome experience. I did say that I would teach the class, but I also said that I wanted to travel in upcoming months. However, in June, "October" seemed awhile away.

Although I don't have definite plans yet of when and where, but I decided to release myself from the volunteer teaching program so I can take the time to see the rest of China. I let the director know, and of course she's frustrated that I only gave her 2+ weeks notice. She wants me to teach the class on Oct. 13 until she can find a replacement. Hmmm... this is a reasonable request.... but I do think that 15 days notice is enough. I offered to help find another teacher as well.

I actually considered detouring back to Shanghai on that day to live out my pseudo commitment. I don't want to be an unreliable person. When it comes to work, I do really do what I say and say what I do. However, coming back in the middle of the month and buying another plane ticket to Shanghai is a waste of time and money and just plain stupid. It actually more than crossed my mind though. I caught myself thinking - "Ok, I'll fly back across China to Shanghai for a weekend so I can do two hours of volunteering. And I will rearrange my travel plans so I don't seem flakey."

Plans change, things happen, there are unreliable people out there (ahem, me). I think we all know this. I have lived my entire adult life trying to be flexible and accomodating to other people and the situations around me. I think the volunteer director knows this - she's a working professional. Nothing is as smooth as you anticipate. There are always bumps, always inconveniences. We live with them. Tough luck, right? However, I don't want to be the cause. I'd rather deal with inconveniences than cause them.

I feel terrible, I really do... hence this rambling blog. I should have just said I wasn't going to be here October onforward in July. Since I didn't have any travel plans yet, I figured I should wait until after my plans materialized. I admit, this is my fault. Ok, all this said, I think I'm going to push ahead with my selfish plans, apologize, and try to help find a replacement. I am going to do what's best for me. I have an awesome opportunity to travel across China and I'm going to inconvenience someone else while I do it. And what if I can't find a substitute? Let's not hope I have to come to that...

Argh.

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26th September 2007

hey corn flake - don't feel bad. this is your chance of a lifetime to do what you're doing. did you check craigslist for a replacement??

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