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Published: September 2nd 2005
It all began very much like a Bruce Lee film should.
A late afternoon sun was emerging, doing its best to protest the wet season. On a rustic wooden ferry, I stood silently at the bow, watching the turbid waters of the Mekong River race the storm clouds that were fleeing in a southerly direction above. Between the river and the sky, the banks of Laos held defiantly still as our vessel struggled to maintain a steady course. Uniformed officers waited on the shore, mirroring my posture and my silence until at 1630 on 29 August 2005, I stepped on Lao land for the first time in 28 years.
Let's just say that the past five days have been amazing.
In which i justify the title... Luang Prabang, the former Royal Lao capital has to be one of my favourite places on Earth. On my first morning I stopped at a riverside stall to buy what turned out to be the hottest papaya salad
IN THE WORLD. I made another backpacker try some and he cried. The proprieter and his mates soon bought me a Beerlao to cool down. Then another. And another. They made fun of
my Lao and wouldn't accept my explanation that I was still deaf from taking the impossibly cramped speedboat from Huay Xai. I made fun of their northern accent and their skinny hormone-free chickens, and after five hours of carrying on, we were all feeling very warm indeed.
There's a bear in there, and a chair as well. Let me get one thing off my chest. There are three things in the world that I am terrified of - my former uni supervisor, crocs and bloody BEARS. Even small ones.
So when I arrive to have a gander at the waterfall at Kuang Si, I'm surprised to see an enclosure for Asiatic black bears. The cages are small and horrible but these bears have been rescued as cubs from hunters, or something to that effect. Now most of this conversation with the bear keeper doesn't translate very well from Lao, but anyway...
Hi Uncle.
Hello. What does that sign say? I can't read Lao script.
Don't stick your fingers through the cage. Oh. So can I go in?
Sure. (At this point he unlocks the door and lets me in trembling.
Speedboat from Huay Xai to Luang Prabang
My request for an ergonomic seat was politely ignored.At least I have a camera to defend myself with).
Can I touch them?
Sure, if you're game. Which one is least likely to eat me?
You can touch Golden Girl, and her brother Red Boy, but I wouldn't touch the Green Bugger if I was you. Shit, how do you tell the difference? They all look black to me.
Well, you're basically fucked, aren't you? Have arrived at an opportune time... Went to a neighbouring town Ban Sangkalouk yesterday to watch their boat races. The crowd was going crazy, and this was only a sample of what will happen tomorrow in Luang Prabang. The boat racing festival is second only to their New Year for celebrations. Can't wait!
P.S. Mum, I have been taking heed of your advice to spend less time in the sun. I am just as black, but have stopped laying as many eggs.
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i wish i'd come with you