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Published: January 29th 2007
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Me in my wedding makeup!
Bob took this photo (all the others on this site are mine though in case you were wondering) but as I didnt take any today, please have a look at his site for more of Maya et al: blog.eyesopen.co.uk Okay so not exactly, but we have had a lovely day today.
Yesterday we went for a walk on the ghats as lots of Sadhus have come here from the Kumbh Mela and are camping on the ghats and have such a beautiful vibe about them, it's really a refreshing change from the typical touts that hassle.
We wandered around and there were various groups of people clustered together listening to Sadhu's wise words, or just soaking in the atmosphere. On the outskirts of one group was a handful of women and children sitting on the steps above. I was standing near them, trying to see why there was a gathering at this particular area, and one of the women called me over to sit down. Following my feelings as written in my previous blog, it was a chance I jumped at, it's so rare that I see any women in situations other than moving from one place to another, or working in shops or the market.
As I sat next to one of the smiliest women I've seen for a while (you may be aware of my obsession with smiley people, the smilier the person, the happier everyone around them
woman by the Ganges
This was such a peaceful day, the woman is standing here near to the temple steps we watched the sunset from seems to be)I was handed the baby from her lap. The baby was asleep and happy and so very very tiny - 2 months old with 2 teeth (she woke up a bit later and yawned). It wasnt the smiley woman's baby apparently, it was the young looking girl who came over and spoke the first words we both understood (other than Namaste). I felt very priveledged, yet at the same time as though this was the most normal situation in the world, that I would sit with strangers and be trusted with the most special of gifts for so long. The women were all family, and all as smiley as each other and though we barely understood anything between us, bob and I were invited, (more like it was insisted) to their house for food today.
I felt so happy. Finally there was something that made sense about India, I knew it would be women if Im honest!
We followed up our invitation by watching the sun start to set from the temple a little way down. This is a really spiritual place with a truly happy feeling and I was almost delirious with happiness, purely because I was
woman on temple steps
Another woman on the same steps as last week - this was where we later sat to watch the sunset. feeling really happy! (no, no, I haven't been on the bhang)
I was determined to keep those feelings, even though there was a tiny part of me that suspected they may want something from us, why wouldnt they, everyone else seems to. But i refused that part in. I decided to keep my mind open, smiley women must be the same all the world over, and I was so completely not disappointed.
We went through the lanes this morning, looking for the house, turned a corner into a square which seemed to be swimming in cow poo and suddenly there we were, we were beckoned in by someone I didnt recognise, but she soon called for Maya, the one who spoke a little English.
We were ushered up through their lovely green house, green everywhere, almost the same colour as my sarong (suitable attire it turned out given that it was a wedding present, thanks Janet!). Then in we went to their kitchen. We sat on the floor and again I was given little Ashka to hold while Maya and her mum started to cook us what turned out to be the most delicious egg and pea mixture with fresh hot chapattis, followed by the tastiest chai (It may sound like I'm exaggerating, but we have been in Varanasi for nearly a month, and we've only found 4 cafes that cook anything that doesnt make us feel a bit queasy!).
After we'd eaten, Ashka was a very happy little naked baby as her grandmother gave her a very firm massage, so happy in fact that as soon as it was over she wet herself, all over her grandmother's sari. Then she had khol put around her eyes, I tried to ask if there was a meaning to this or if it was simply for decoration, but I failed to express what I meant effectively, instead they it was decided that I should wear it. For the next ten minutes I was quickly made up with my hair combed and plaited, a blue bindi chosen to match my sarong and orange powder shaken onto my (slightly off-) centre parting. They demonstrated how if it was our wedding day, bob would have been given a sarong which at this point would be held around the two of us (they draped my sarong around us for this) as he put this orange powder on my head - one of the first moments the bride and groom lay eyes on each other. From what I gather, orange is for the wedding day, red is for every day following that. Photos ensued and they found it really funny that I would be confusing people as I left their house!
After a couple of hours we decided to leave - really I think I could have stayed there all day, but I wish I could speak or understand more Hindi.
Since then, even though I thought I'd got all the orange powder out of my hair and most of the oily khol off my eyes, I'm still wearing the bindi and I'm getting congratulatory comments from people we know!
The internet guy has just clarified a few things though - he says that wearing orange powder is the first thing a woman does but really religious people continue with the orange powder every day. More modern women use red every day, but any colour bindi means any girl not a married one! So I think I'll take to wearing a red bindi, it's such a pain that my wedding ring is not really acknowledged here, honestly, whenever we are accepted as married, things are much easier!
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pavla
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you look SO happy!!
i'm certainly getting your blogs (this is all a new thing for me) and am really enjoying all the updates and photos of your adventures! you look so in your element kate - i am of course exceedingly jelous. keep the lovely photos coming!xx