Belarus: Day 13

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Day 13:

Will someone shut that bastard dog up please. The dog starts barking at 5am and continues until Victor comes into the house for a shower at 6.30. I have to admit I did pray on a couple of occasions that God would strike it down with a terrible affliction (the dog not Victor). We got up and had a coffee whilst the kids stirred in their beds. We had a couple of hours until we were due to hit the road for our trip cross country to Father Frost and his family. All the kids apart from Jamie (who was up early playing minecraft on his kindle) had to be scrapped from their bed. This is the last full day with Katya and Young Dasha before they head home to Minsk and to school on Monday. Their will be no time for a walk today because we would be getting back late so I shall consider this my one rest day of the holiday. Must try harder next year. That is must try harder not to attempt to chop my leg off and therefore not be able to run or swim next year.

We pack some sandwiches for the journey and some water and we head out over to our drivers house (I won’t mention names because of some of the elements of the story later). We jump into his vehicle and we settle in for the hour and a half drive to the forest of Belovezhskaya Pushcha. The day again is a perfectly hot day and I sit with the window open allowing the breeze to blow in my face. I really should have been born a dog. Our driver imports various items from around the country and uses his vehicle to move the supplies around. Today became apparent as a work day when 2 hours into the journey we arrived at a warehouse. He jumped out and 10 minutes later was moving boxes and bags into the vehicle behind us. We then set off once again for the forest. After the three hour journey the kids were quite restless and personally my arse was hurting from sitting for so long.

Belovezhskaya Pushcha is a national forest which houses several sightseeing attractions the biggest being the house of Father Frost. It is set in Europe’s biggest forest and provides a fairytale atmosphere year round for kids and parents alike. The house itself is set in a village of handcrafted wooden houses and sculptures depicting fairy tales and legendary scenes. We arrive at the forest, park up and head to the ticket office where we purchase tickets for everyone. The coaches were due to leave in an hour so we headed to the café at the entrance for some lunch. Mine was a liquid lunch of beetroot soup and beer ( come on I needed it after that journey as it felt like a school trip with 5 kids and us). We then boarded the buses.

Now another thing the forest is good for, is miles and miles of forested roads which people hire bikes for and spend the day cycling the paths as families. The bus drivers don’t seem to think that this is a reason to slow down as we barrel through the twisting forest at breakneck speed and occasionally seeing a terrified cyclist crashing through the undergrowth to avoid the sharp metal bumpers of our bus. Honestly I saw kids flying off bikes or gripping on for their lives as their parents avoided oncoming trees. Luckily there were only three coaches a day, so if timed correctly they could avoid these near misses.

We arrive at the car park to the Christmas village, disembark and follow a lady who is apparently our tour guide of the afternoon. She relays a welcome and asks the usual “have you been good this year”. The response from the adults appears to be more enthusiastic than the kids. In fact there were more adults than kids which I saw as unusual. We made our way to the grand wooden gates guarded by two wooden figures called Oakley Oak and Elmy Elm (which I find out were carved from trees destroyed in a hurricane). We have to say something before the gates are swung open to reveal the magical scene.

Inside you are treated to sights such as the big mans home, the snow Maiden’s Tower, meadow of the twelve months, and at its centre the New Years Tree (which was the tallest Pine in Europe before it was killed accidentally and then the decorations were transplanted to the near and slightly less dramatic New New Years tree. We arrive at Father Frosts home and the adults appear to push the kids out of the way to get to a better vantage point. I stand at the back and encourage my kids to make their way to the front, by saying loudly “oh you can’t see. Sorry guys maybe if some of these pricks would move out of the way you could”. I knew full well that no one would understand me (apart from Maia who gave me a dirty look) but I hoped the tone would be understood and indeed they were able to get to the front. We all shouted for Father Frost to come out and he did. He spoke in Belarusian and communed with the adults in the group, especially the ladies. He asked Yuliya where she came from and after responding he gave her a riddle to answer “ what looks like an elephant, is grey, with a long nose and is small?” Yuliya said a mouse. Someone else shouted out “an anteater”. Father Frost said “no it’s a baby elephant! I asked that because the answer reminded me of you”. Now I don’t know what he was saying but Yuliya turned to me and whispered “the cheeky fucker”. I very nearly had to hold her back from assaulting him. Now that would have been a Christmas memory for the kids. Just as we were about to have photos he asked another woman, who was standing at the front, where she was from. In her broadest Brooklyn accent said “New York City”. Oops maybe some of these pricks had understood me.

We continued through the displays with the kids posing for photos whilst trying to ignore the now very loud and obnoxious Yankee woman who was climbing onto fragile statues. Being told several times that this was not allowed and dangerous. I wonder if she would have sued if a 1 tonne statue of a bear fell and scalped her. I put a bet on it. We approached the New Year tree and standing back watched as the tour guide got everyone to hold hands and then in a “wicker man” parade started to dance around and they all started singing a traditional Christmas song. Honestly at this point I watched my back that I was not grabbed and tied into a giant effigy and set alight, being the stranger to the place. I then started hoping it would be the American Woman and I started dancing around in a hope I would not be picked. Unfortunately this did not happen and we continued our tour.

At the end we were all presented with a biscuit in the shape of a mushroom. Now I’ve not had mine yet but coming from a place of magic I’m hoping I’ll be tripping my tits off by the end of the night.

We got on the coaches and flew through the forest to our next destination. At one point every one on the bus was catapulted forward, as luckily the driver decided against the crushing of a toddler on a bike and slammed his breaks on with inches to spare. The bus dropped us off at the caged animal section of the park. The kids jumped of excitedly and were immediately met by two black bears in a small cage. They were both pacing around and looking distressed. These are native bears and are hunted so maybe just maybe this was a better future for them. I walked away as I don’t like to see these type of animals in close confined cages. We walked on: passed the bisons, and the ostrich and came to the wild horses (cue the Stones). The kids of course love a horse so I knew this would take a while. I settled on a bench a little further along the path and closed my eyes in the hazy afternoon sun.
From the other side of the road I hear a crash and I swear I see a head disappeared behind the verge. I sit up and wonder what it was. I could see nothing. Then all of a sudden a hollow scream shouted “suka” (bitch). I could still see no one there. I rounded up the kids and we started walking. Then came crashing out a bush a man so intoxicated that it reminded me of Tolik on the dance floor. He advanced screaming “suka suka” at us. Luckily for us as the hurried along the path he was taking just as many steps backwards as he was forwards and appeared stuck in a time loop. The last I saw of him was he was lying in the middle of the road with a coach heading his way. May he rest in peace.

After the obligatory gift shops at the exit to the park we headed back out of the park and to the awaiting vehicle to take us home. Again this should only take 1.5 hours. I was so tired that I drifted in and out of sleep and after 1.5hours awake to discover we were going down the motorway. This was not our usual route back. All of a sudden our driver turns sharply crosses the central reservation and pulls up to a halt on the hard shoulder facing in the opposite direction. Within 10 seconds another vehicle had pulled up behind, our man jumped out greeted his friend and proceeded to stack more boxes into the back of our vehicle. This was most unorthodox. Oh well each to their own. The transaction had taken place, our man jumped back in, turned 180 degrees across the motorway in front of a truck and we continued on our way. We arrived back after 2.5hours. Hot, sweaty and impressed that teachers around the world could survive each day with this many children in close proximity.

I decided that there would be no walk tonight and Yuliya also cancelled her run. We would hit it hard tomorrow. It is our last full day tomorrow . We need to say goodbye to Babushka Zoya, we need to put Katya and Dasha onto a train home and we need to pack. I will also be doing a 15km walk and I will chance a swim. Exciting times! For now it is a quick tea before bed so Night night until tomorrow.

For those of you who have stuck with this over the past two weeks I thank you. Some days have been very repetitive but always have a touch of the abnormal.
For those of you who have stuck through up to now we have now broken the 20,000 word mark. I again thank you for your support.

Steve x

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Comments

[Christine Douglas]

Better read than the daily papers !
Have enjoyed your blogs , better than the daily papers at the moment which are full of Brexit and stabbings ( God help us all ) X