Belarus: Day 2


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August 12th 2018
Published: August 13th 2018
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Day 2

Sleep was disturbed by the farm waking up. The dog barking at the rooster calling for the dawn. The kids stirred from their slumber and demanded breakfast. Tania the ever loyal hostess bowed to their very request and provided the adults with a cup of fresh coffee.
We were up early, not only for the fact we had been woken by the animals, but because Yuliya’s brother Sergei was arriving with his family on the 8am train from Minsk. They would be spending a week with us on the farm.

When I first met Sergei I was intimidated by him. He is only a couple of years older than yuliya and was a colonel at a nuclear missile base in the forests near the European border. He gave out the impression that he disliked everything western and especially someone who was sleeping with his little sister. We had many broken English heated discussions about politics, and the U.K.s position in the world, of which I really didn’t have any passion or knowledge about but I still fought my point with venomous guile.

Over several years and several bottles of vodka he softened to me and I find him very warm and kind. He has become a brother to me. He married only a few years ago and is now the stepfather to 2 beautiful girls Dasha and Katya and has just welcoming his own son Vlad into the world. His wife Natasha has changed him, and following his leaving of active military service and moving to Minsk to train troops at the military academy his persona has softened as much as his mid rift.

The car pulled up outside the house and we greeted the family with hugs and smiles. The kids initially quite shy soon took off exploring the farm and attempted to find mischief. We handed out the presents and received thanks.

Sergey then presented me with a large litre bottle of brown liquid. He was very proud of it and said that it was blended mix of herbs, honey and 80% proof vodka. He said that I should take it home with me…. I insisted that if I was going to get poisoned he would damn well go down with me…. A date was set to sample the brew… in 2 hours at lunch!

Back in January during an evening run around Macclesfield forest with my cousin Tristan, I tore my Achilles’ tendon and had undergone several months of physiotherapy. I have noticed the scales ever increasing with the none exercise regime of beer and take aways. I have finally started to walk in the hills again and am determined, on this holiday, to start running again in preparation for a half marathon I am running with the bastards (our walking group) in October. So running kit on, ear phones in, Strava on the watch I set off for a short trial run around the lakes. Belarus is flatter than a witches tit, so the running should be easy. There are numerous trails around the farm of which I knew several routes from my previous runs. I have to tell you it really hurt. Not so much the distance (which was only 3.5km) but the Achilles felt weak and not used to being used at this intensity. Oh well I have 2 weeks and hopefully several runs to build up my strength and my confidence to push myself.

Back on the farm we decided to cool off with a swim in the lake. Last time we came to Belarus all public swimming in lakes had been banned due to the fact 2 teenagers had drowned whilst drunk. We couldn’t even put our feet in the water without some government representative coming and imposing fines. This year though, although the ban is still in place, the authorities have relaxed. People don’t travel to the lakes from nearby towns and therefore they are accessed by the few people living by. It was lovely to have the lake to ourselves. Jamie and Maia both knowing how to swim had lessened the fear factor for us and we could relax and swim as a family. We would as we had in the past enjoy access to this resource everyday. Hopefully we would also enjoy a couple of nighttime swims which are magical under the star filled skies.

Anyway my date with destiny had arrived and we sat down in the outdoor veranda to our lunch. In front of me sat a 50ml shot glass. Sergey poured our first toast of the day. I wondered whether I had to drink it all or we would be sipping it. Sergey answered this question after toasting the family drained his glass. There is nothing like a warm glass of flavoured vodka to get your taste buds lit up. Christ and were they lit up. I swear steam shot out of my ears. I dampened the aggressive aftertaste with some gherkin and cooked chicken. Relieved that I had drank without chugging it back into my mouth. I looked up through bleary vision to see another shot being poured. Again Russian hospitality was slipping into insanity. Then commenced a toast to parents, a toast to love, a toast to children. I was wondering when a toast to surviving putting my head inside the outdoor drop toilet was going to present itself when finally the table was cleared, along with ¾ of a bottle of special (very) brew.

I spent the next half an hour teaching Jamie how to ride a bike. I was told by yuliya that he was swaying backward and forward down the road. To me he was going in a perfectly straight line as I stumbled behind like a spiced up Piccadilly gardens resident. It was time for a lie down before I caused myself some serious damage.

I slept on the sofa in the house for a short while whilst listening to Manchester City beat the Gunners drifting in and out of bizarre psychotic nightmares about being eaten by the goats on the farm.

I woke in time for a visit from Vadim (our driver and neighbour) daughter. Yuliya said that there was a 23 year old Russian girl who was desperate to speak to me about England. Out of pure chivalry I jumped up excited by the prospect of chatting to someone…. Anyone….. especially a young 23 year old…. Hoorah…. I still felt pissed….. this should be fun. I must try to avoid upsetting the locals and more importantly my Wife!!!

Dasha is an English teacher in a local town and had wanted to visit and chat for the past several years but was too shy. She had brought over baked goods as a gift and then we started chatting. She was genuinely interested in what I had to say (first time I have felt that in many years lol). We talked about politics, England and the eccentricity of English people. “Do you drink tea at 5pm?”. How bizarre I prefer a beer at 5pm but there are a few who would like that. She told me about her future plans ( of which I was sworn to secrecy…… who would I tell?) and we agreed that she could come and speak to me whenever she wanted whilst I was here. She said that she was very emotional about talking to a real English person, I said most people are after talking to me. After about an hour she departed agreeing to come on a morning run in 2 days. Lovely girl and thank god someone who wanted to talk English to me.

Tanya called us inside for dinner. Russian raviolis, one of my favourites. I settled down with a large plate in front of me when Sergey arrived and produced the Vodka and 2 large glasses…… fuck….

After finishing off the vodka and a couple of bottles of beer and having polished off several plates of raviolis (very important to line the stomach throughout or at least eat enough to ensure maximum projectile vomiting effect) I felt decidedly lubricated.

The evening had again been beaten back by the growing darkness and I asked Tanya if she fancied a midnight dip in the lake. This is a real treat.

Tanya looked at me warily as we walked the short distance to the lake. She asked me 5 times en route if I was ok. Meaning was I in a fit state to swim. I assured her I was and concentrated very hard not to do my drunken monkey walk any time she was looking in my direction. The lake was still and moonlit. After the initial shock to the system of diving into a cool body of water I relaxed, lay on my back and was greeted by a magnificent blanket of stars. With no street light interference it is simply breathtaking. Added to this we were reaching the peak of the annual perseid meteor shower. Every few minutes a huge streak of light burnt its way across the night sky leaving trails behind that were there for seconds. Tanya’s watchful eyes were even distracted from the fear of her son in laws possible drowning to admire and whoop with delight every time the natural fireworks made an appearance.

It was at this time that I decided to head back and write a blog. I know that my grammar and spelling is sometimes questionable but I enjoy writing it and some have said they enjoy reading it.

More from Belarus tomorrow when I am sure to have a bad hangover and the prospect of a morning run is starting to fill me with apprehension and dread.

Steve x


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13th August 2018

Great read
Wibbly wob weeble Keep it up kid

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