Women Travellers

Eventhough I was travelling with my boyfriend, I found Indonesian men (particularly those on Bali) to be really disrespectful. If I asked a question they would just laugh at me and look at me in disgust, turn to Neil and only talk to him. They would also try and look down my top at any opportunity and when asking the price of accommodation they would simply talk to my chest...a couple of times I had to say 'I'm up here' pointing at my face. I really don't know how single women cope! The Balinese men were even making comments to women with boyfriends/husbands as they walked past their shops saying things like, 'what are you doing with him', or 'I like your chest', or once 'I want to f**k you'! Totally disrespectful and the women in question didn't say a word to these men, if it had been me I would have smacked one of them! It seriously drove me mad, it's a shame that the behaviour of the Balinese men colours my perception of Indonesia which is a great country!

We found that Turkey wasn't too bad, although we have only been to 'tourist resorts' there. A few of the waiters/shop owners in the tourist trade were a bit slimey but I didn't get too much hassle being blonde when shopping in a local market in Fethiye, a few stares maybe. South America is hit and miss with half the guys thinking they are god's gift and the other half being respectful!
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Oh come on guys! I think it's a bit harsh to judge the male population of an entire country based on a few incidents. Men are perfectly capable of being either b******ds or gentlemen anywhere in the world. I think the main problem is travellers not understanding what is acceptable in the country. Personally I'd be mortified by a man clicking his tongue at me - how patronising! I'd consider that harrassment, but if I understood it was normal there I might be a bit more forgiving, maybe even take it as a compliment.
Oh and Kat you are being a little unfair to those 'slimy Indian guys' - they were just young college students trying it on and they didn't 'back off' they apologised profusely for having behaved inappropriately. :P (I'll give you the Tunisian complaint though since we were all swathed in fabric head to foot and minding our own buisness!)
I think in general it can be hard for a woman travelling - in many countries men will not talk to you (and not necessarily out of rudeness, it may be inappropriate in their culture to talk to a woman who is not a relative) and equally a woman who approaches men or looks them in the eye may be advertising herself as a prostitute according to the norms of that country, although if you are in well known tourist/traveller area they are more likely to understand about cultural differences.
I think the best thing you can do when travelling is to behave like the local women as far as possible, dress appropriately and be respectful of their culture. Men may seem like jerks because you are judging them from your own cultural viewpoint and equally they may be making rude assumptions about you because they are comparing you to the way women should behave in their country. Of course if the man bothering you is just being a perve (such as in that Tunisain market) then complain, approach a policemen, wallop him, whatever is necessary!!
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I don't know...I lived in India for a while and I wouldn't dream of wearing short skirts or strap tops, and not so much because I don't want men bothering me but more because it feels wrong there and it makes local women uncomfortable. I mean, wandering around an Asian country with your legs and shoulders showing is as inappropriate and odd to them, as we would find someone strolling down the high street topless. I don't think there is anything wrong with women showing their breasts, (many African cultures still do), I think it is sexist that men can wander around topless and women can't... but that's the way it is, and if we conform to public opinion in our own countries we should probably do the same in others.
You don't need to tolerate the apalling limits some cultures put on women's freedom, but look at it from the women's point of view rather than your own western ideal. If you walk around half naked, talking freely with strange men, kissing in public etc.... it'll be the local women who are most offended.
Also I was only talking about dress and manners... I never meant you shouldn't speak out for women's rights. We should certainly speak out against female foetal abortion, female infanticide, female circumcision, forced marriages; we should argue for women's rights to education and work and equal pay and inheritance and everything else. I just don't think you can accomplish that by alienating the local women through your western dress and manners! Reply to this

I completely agree with what Anna and Mel have said but can I ask how those men in Indonesia thought it was appropriae to say to a western woman with her husband, wearing a respectable dress (covered shoulders and past her knees) 'I want to f**k you?', would they say that to an Indonesian woman with her husband? I don't think they would. Anna you say that if women walk around half naked, talking freely with strange men, kissing in public etc it will offend. I agree, but what if you do none of this and still get the comment like above?

I always dress respectably in other countries, mindful of what is offensive, but sometimes western women still get comments or certain behaviour directed at them even when dress and behaving appropriately. How do we explain this? Reply to this

I have't done a whole lot of solo traveling, mostly because I am female. And I don't like to admit that I'll avoid solo travel, but I hate even more feeling like I'm looked at as "meat" or a prostitute.

France - Paris, Marseilles...wouldn't matter if I was walking with a guy. In Lyon, my guy friend joked we should cover me with a bit sheet so I wouldn't get cat-called (almost all of the cat calls were from recent immigrants, while only two were from French guys).
Malaysia...I was with my boyfriend so I didn't really notice the men until the one and only time I crossed a street by myself, then boom, out of nowhere, cat-called, honking horns, etc. My boyfriend, who was across the street, was rolling with laughter.
Canada - Yup, Canada...try the Arab neighborhoods in Montreal if you like cat-calls. Or when the American college guys come up for their alcholic spring breaks to Montreal...they're suddenly sleezier because they're in "another country".
My favourite story about sleezy guys has to be the "rock-thrower" in Montreal..he was a recent immigrant from Abu-Dhabi, as he proudly told me. He had tossed pebbles at me to get my attention. I yelled at him, saying "We do NOT throw rocks in this country!" He just grinned...oops, I had made eye contact.

So yeah, it really doesn't matter where you go. And I do not group all men into one category, rather I group all jerks into one category regardless of their nationality!
One thing I have learned, is do not respond. Going back to Paris two years later, I didn't have as many problems. Avoiding the eye contact was key. But go ahead and make yourself loud and clear if your efforts fail. 😊


My general experiences though, have led me to fear traveling solo to places like Egypt and Morocco. I have even dated a couple of Arabs in the past, and those experiences combined with the looks and cat calls...no thank you. Which is a shame because I would like to see those countries, but I'm too chicken to do it alone. I don't know how bad it is there...any thoughts?
A cousin who travels for work has echoed the experiences of Anna, and said local women will look after you. Another friend who went to Pakistan for work said she was quickly adopted by her host family and they looked out for her and thus didn't have any problems.

Maybe one day we can travel solo and we don't have exhaust ourselves trying to avoid harrassment. Wouldn't it be nice?
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cheers to you Ellen, I agree with what you say. Just have your wits about you and don't let comments get to you. Don't put yourself in bad situations. The catcalls and stares are gonna happen, it sucks, but its gonna happen. Most of it is just verbal, and if you don't let it get to you, you will be fine. Be confident and tell them to stop. Especially in Asia, this worked for me. I have heard women horror stories from very country I have gone to, but I personally haven't had too much trouble anywhere.

That all said, I was glad I was not traveling in India by myself. I don't think I would travel in the middle east by myself. I have traveled from Japan to India with stops in all the countries in between, europe, and America. In all honesty, I have felt the most "unsafe" in my home country, America.

Happy travels...get out there! Reply to this

Yeah fair enough Carl, but not all of us have a man to look out for us or need one... I reckon I do a pretty good job of looking after myself!! E Reply to this

It is not so long ago that women in Western society were blamed for asaults and rapes because they behaved too provocatively or dressed to sexy. Now we know that these crimes are not a womans fault. Whatever she is wearing or doing it is not her fault. Men should have control over their own behaviour.
Despite it being wise to dress discretely in some countries it is plain and simply wrong to blame women for mens behaviour. Why is it we have come so far in our Western culture and yet go back to the bad old days of blaming women when we go to other parts of the world.
I think the reality is men in some places watch too much porn and live in their fantasies too much and then they hope all Western women will live up to these fantasies. It does not matter so much what we are wearing. We are Western and look like the women in the porn flicks. Unfortunate for us but certainly not our fault.
I agree with Swissmaple. Ignore the types of men who have bad manners completely and stay close to women when u sit on the bus or anywhere. 😊 Yeah it would be nice if we could travel solo without the sexual harassment. When I stay in mixed dorms in European hostels where I am often the only woman in the room I often think it has not been so long ago in Europe when I as a women would not have been able to spend the night in a roomfull of men without wearing a chastity belt. :D

Mel Reply to this

I don't really mind the verbal abuse as much as the physical harassment, to be honest. I can ignore the verbal abuse, although I understand Donna well that sometimes it gets really tempting to smack them with my day pack :-) but the physical harassment is less easy to ignore, I'm afraid.

I'm of asian descent and whenever I'm in South East Asia (and once in NZ), particularly in the tourist hot spots, I get mistaken for a working girl. Yes, I wear jeans skirts and tops. So what ? It's normal wear in clubs, I think. But some men doesn't seem to agree. "She wears a skirt and a top, and she looks asian. She must be a prostitute". They get their hands around my waist, acting rather indecent and offensive. And as if that's not enough, I can see that some girls think that I'm there to hook up with a rich tourist, looking for a quick ticket out of the country. I see it on the expression on their faces. So it's a bit reversed here. Not only locals who are harrassing, but tourists too. I must admit, though I try my best not to be bothered, it does get to me.

This, so far, has been the only problem I've experienced as a woman traveller. And eventhough it happens mostly when I'm in South East Asia, it doesn't keep me from going there. The region has so much to offer and I'd hate to miss out because of a few creeps behaving badly.
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I wouldn't say I would ever not go to a country because of potential harrassments but it obviously can be a problem in some parts of the world. I think you just have to (to a certain extent) put up with it and accept it as one of the annoyances of travelling along with people trying to rip you off or uncomfortable bus journeys! I think the places that are the worst are often popular tourist destinations where the locals see some foreign women getting drunk and flirting and come to the conclusion that all foreign women are the same and are all sluts. Reply to this