how have you learned to live and love a land so completely foreign when it comes to loneliness, day to day living, and meeting people who share the same interests while you live there permanently? stories help!
Reply to this Hey, I think the best way to transition into living in a foreign country is to learn the language. Enroll yourself into a language program before or as soon as you arrive. You'll be able to meet other people, learn the culture, and even stay in the school's dorms until you find a nice place of your own. This option may also help in getting a permanent visa. I've been living in Taiwan now for about a year, and that's how I transitioned.
Reply to this Agreed that learning at least the basics of a language is important. Apart from maybe a short time in a language school the best thing you can do (imho) is to get out and get involved in the community rather than spend most of your time with fellow foreigners. Sure, maintain some foreigner friends (they will better understand the day to day difficulties you face as a foreigner), but to really fit in I believe it is crucial to have time when you are only in the company of 'native' members of the community, and there's no better way to work on those language skills! Ask around about clubs, activities that interest you.
Also important; maintain regular contact with family/friends back home :-)
Reply to this Gala - fantastic topic!
My two roubles' worth...!
1)
Loneliness - the activity that helps the most when I'm homesick is actually writing my blog. I know that my family and closest friends read it, so they will at least be thinking about me for a while. It can also be the only time in a fortnight when I speak English.
2)
Day-to-day living - I learned pretty quickly that being the person who I am when at home doesn't get me very far in the country I now live in - the cultures are just too different. For example I'm quite a shy person - even more so in my second and third languages - but here that comes across sometimes as unsociable and rude. On the other hand, I have to force myself to say
"give me a coffee" and not say thankyou - as people do here - so as not to stand out.
I try to adjust - be more direct and forceful, knowing that I won't be judged accoring to my own society's rules but by those of this one's.
3)
Meeting people - The closest friend I have made while I've been here is American - so we almost share a language! - and he actually found me through my blog and suggested meeting up. He's been here longer than me so I've met people through him. Maybe finding a place to be with other foreigners, going to an Expat bar say, once a week as a bit of a treat will help you to relax?
Always be yourself - especially when writing your blog! - but I've learned that you have to adapt if you're going to be in a place permanently.
Jon
Reply to this Hello Gala 😊
I moved from Ireland to Germany 6 years ago with my boyfriend and daugher( now 7 years old).
Since I am European and had lived and worked in Germany before this it was not such a big culture shift for me.
One thing was shockingly different here to what it is like in Ireland. Germany is such a child unfriendly country compared with Ireland. Well to give Germany some credit they do like children as long as they are behaving link adults.
We lived in the North of Germany for our first one and half years. Then we moved South. I liked North better because in the South people are a lot more conservative and foreigners never truely belong.
Of course I have the language barrier to contend with also. I am not very good with learning languages but am doing my best with German. I can have a conversation in German as long as it does not get too complicated and if the person I am speaking with will speak regular German rather than the local Bavarian dialect.
I prefer to live in foreign countries because it adds something more to life than if I live in the country I was born in and lived in all through my childhood and teens.
Mell
Reply to this Understanding that the values you have come to accept from the culture you were taught. Are no longer the measure of things in your new land. There are big differences and human life is considered of no great value. A big shock when one comes from the cosseted West. The 'native' will often be an underlying factor, even though the person you speak with will have all the trimmings of the West.
Once you have come to terms with this fact and begin to tolerate behaviour unacceptable in Europe and America, then you are well on the way to settling and enjoying the things that are good in your new land.
Alan
Reply to this goooo sfu!!
anyways, when i was traveling i enrolled in a language class and through there i met other like minded travelers who were interested in going out and taking all the culture in and having lots of fun too! When it was lonely i read a lot and wrote out everything i did and the impressions i got from walking around aimlessly by myself, into a journal. It's great to look back and see how you changed over a few weeks. Hostels and touristy areas are good to find cool people your age who want to do less touristy things too. Also have you tried other forums like the lonelyplanet one or facebook? I bet you could find other travelers near you through there too!
Sometimes too i would make friends with young locals and just hang out with them even though i could only speak very little and them not a word of english. Made for some very interesting/confusing nights haha. I really just had to throw myself into these situations without over analyzing it and it always turned a positive. One thing i found that crossed the language barrier was singing classic rock or pop songs with them haha. They knew the words even without understanding them haha.
Hope anything i said was useful !!
_kam
Reply to this Language is important, but in the Philippines many will know some English although will be reluctant to speak for fear they will be laughed at.. However if l get stuck, l just write the words down and problem solved. Because written English is taught in schools to a high level that surprised me, but is not often spoken in class. The Mormon's send their students here after they learn the language which impressed me as l find language hard to learn.
Of course if you go to a 'Tourista' area everyone speaks English, but how can you get to know a country if you don't mix with the locals. Like a blogger on this site who spent three weeks in Manila meeting the 'poor people' and now considers they now know the country and now spend the rest of their time in a Tourist Center populated by Americans and the rich!.....
When you live among the people you will learn more about the culture and it is far more interesting but it can be lonely and you can feel that you are the odd one out. As you are probably white and have a thin nose, which is thought of as beautiful. However when you see the young women here and their natural beauty it is hard to understand why they would wish to change to be Westernised.
If you really want to make an impression here, practice your singing with a Videoke machine. Yesterday on the news the President 'Gloria Arroyo' was singing along with 'Richard Carpenter"(in person). So start brushing up on the old songs...and you will certainly 'cut the ice' with the locals. If you can laugh at yourself you will have a great time here.
Alan
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