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to travel or settle down?

difficult decision
35 months ago, April 27th 2017 No: 1 Msg: #200729  
I'm in my early 30s and having just finished another contracted role at home (in London) about 6 weeks ago I'm out of work now. I've been in this position many times before. Right now I'm trying to make a decision whether to stay in London and keep looking for work or go to a part of the world for 2-3 months that's been on my heart and mind (S America).

Having had four interviews in the past 6 weeks, all of which I felt I did well in but still no success for my effort despite coming very close to getting one of them (the one role I was very keen on). So I could just stay here and keep looking for work but to be honest my confidence is dented a bit after these setbacks. I feel I'm not as motivated as well after 4 interviews that haven't been successful. This month has been a washout as I've spent the majority of my time researching S America! Maybe that's why I've seen it as a sign that I need to do this trip to re-energize myself and have a break from this place.

Why I'm hesitating though is because I'm afraid to have another break without working. At this age and stage of my life the feeling that I need to settle down with a permanent job/career, family etc. is pretty intense. Yet I have none of those things, no responsibilities as such so in a way, I'm free to do as I please. But here's the thing - I DO WANT those responsibilities but life for various reasons that hasn't quite worked out for me in that way. Been unlucky with love, not successful with pursuing a career. So what more can I do? If I had something to come back to that would help along with a partner (who I thought I would have met by now).

Secondly, in addition to that concern, I'm also hesitant about travelling solo...for about the 100th time. Not for safety/security concerns but rather because I know how loneliness and solitude can cause me more harm than good. I've done some travels with others/friends but have been on far more trips on my own. It has been special in its own way and I've seen amazing places but at the same time, part of me is fed up with it too. I feel I'm at the age where I should be doing all this with a partner and yet the reality is I'm still alone. I've done enough self-reflection and analysis, people watching in cafes, sitting on hills admiring beautiful views. I want to experience all this with someone else. The ideal I guess for everyone is seeing the places of your dreams with the person of your dreams. Even so, another voice echoes inside me, encouraging me to still pursue my dreams, with or without anyone. Afterall I can manage 2-3 months. Any longer I think would be a real struggle.

I guess this was more of an inquiry into finding out whether there are other people in my age and stage of life and similar circumstances that feel the same?? Reply to this

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