Adapting to "normal" life after a long trip

14 months away, back home now and more lost than ever!!

13 years ago, June 27th 2010 No: 1 Msg: #114203 Delete Edit

B Posts: 14

I left for my travels like many others I'm sure, because I was bored with the traditional lifestyle, and while abroad I planned to figure what I wanted to do. Well, guess what, I didn't!!

I arrived home 2 months ago and was lucky to walk straight back into a job, but I'm already bored and thinking of doing it all again. But it was only about 2 months ago that I felt REALLY ready to come home, and for a few weeks I did really enjoy it here.

Now I feel that I'm sorta somewhere in between "normal" life and travelling mode. I don't feel like I fit in here anymore, yet I'm not sure I'm ready to just leave again. I guess I'm just in the middle of the downer right now and it'll pass.

Just wondered how others have found adjusting afterwards?? Or did you not want to adjust?? Reply to this

13 years ago, June 28th 2010 No: 2 Msg: #114223 Delete Edit

Jo Trouble
Jo McCarthy

B Posts: 11.5K

Hi Dave,

Adjusting back into 'normal' life can take a while. One thing I found after living overseas for a few years was that my circle of friends had really changed. While I thought friendships would pick up where they had left off, most of my friends seemed to have moved on with their lives and seemed to no longer be interested in hanging out together.

No doubt, the way I saw things was also partly due to me having changed. You couldn't live in a different culture for 3 years and still be the same person you were when you left.

Did you join any activities in your travels that you could take on as a hobbie now?

Using the time in between travels to learn a new language is another way to help yourself out of the 'rut' - I find planning the next trip also helps time pass 😊

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13 years ago, June 28th 2010 No: 3 Msg: #114256 Delete Edit

MichaelnFaye
Michael & Faye Johnson

B Posts: 297

I find planning the next trip also helps time pass

This is so true...

We found the first half of our trip (12 months)we were saying things like 'When we get home we're going to do X or Y', but the second half of the trip we were saying 'when we get home we're getting rid of everything and going travelling again'.

Someone told me that as a rule of thumb that it takes you one and a half times the length of your trip to get over it... Absolute rubbish as a generalisation I know, and certainly doesn't help you as it means you've got 19 months of depression left.

We've been back 2 years, started a family and are still unsettled and yearning to travel again. We've filled the time with some trips but are planning another extended journey (duration unknown) starting Feb 2011. The thoughts of and planning for this trip are all that keep us going.

On the flip side, I do have friends that went on extended travels, felt really bad for a little while when they returned but are well and truly happy home now and have no desire to travel again (been there, done that), so things may change for you... Reply to this

13 years ago, June 28th 2010 No: 4 Msg: #114269 Delete Edit

Maisondubonheur
Pierre-Alexandre

B Posts: 1,583

Guys, there is another solution....move abroad....for good...or for years. I've been in Asia for 15 years now, no regrets....I like to move countries every 3 to 5 years...it's a kind of travelling too. I will never be able to live in my past....thinking of the good times of the past...think in the future...build...as a family we've got trip idea for the ten years to come...and not enough of one life...life is about choices...why be base in your home country if your only love is to be on the road. There are many TB examples of people living all around the world, doing many different things... Reply to this

13 years ago, June 28th 2010 No: 5 Msg: #114305 Delete Edit

Wanderly Wagon
Wanderly Wagon

B Posts: 177

I have to say I found the first few months strange when I came home after 10 months away. At the start it was like nothing had happened and I had to think to remember my memories. Like yourself I walked back into a job and thought 'what the hell am I doing here'.

My memories soon started flooding back and I can only describe it that my brain seemed to be filing them into the folder especially created for my travels in my head. At work I would get the weirdest most random memories every few minutes without trying to think about my travels. Places we had lunch or dinner, people who cut my hair, workers in hostels, car parks we free camped in our camper van, supermarkets we shopped in, tour guides, just some of the weirdest things to remember. Of course all the big ones came flooding back but I was surprised at the amount of random ones. That all faded away but now when i'm pee'd off at work or in a bad mood it happens. I just give a little smile and think how lucky I was.

Now I get that feeling every time I read about a new place. That feeling in the bottom of your stomach that says 'oh god, I wish I was somewhere else'. Reply to this

13 years ago, June 29th 2010 No: 6 Msg: #114340 Delete Edit

WhatDreamsRMadeOf
Never close the book, just turn the page!

N Posts: 1

I'm going home in september after 14 months away, decided that the last of my travels will be a month spent in bali, alone - just to have time to reflect on the travels that i had... and now the long road i have ahead, going back home, fitting back into my life, finding a job, paying off debts, seeing friends, repairing friendships that kinda ceased to exist since i left.... all sounds depressing!! one thing i am worried about is how much i have changed for the better now, but going back to my old life and hoping i don't change back to what i was before!

But as soon as i go back, i do have a positive plan- to get a job, pay off my debts and as soon as i have enough money saved... i will be booking a plane ticket out of the UK! not sure where yet, anywhere is better than the UK at the moment!

I have had the best 14 months ever, but lifes too short not to travel! there are too many places to see and too many interesting people to meet and share experiences and cultures with! my life no longer revolves around a 9-5 job and partying on a saturday night!

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13 years ago, June 29th 2010 No: 7 Msg: #114348 Delete Edit

Silver_Sheep
Just the Two of Us

B Posts: 19

I agree it takes a while to adjust, my partner and I went to Denmark for a few months and then to NZ for 12 months, and when had plans on going to OZ straight after NZ but things didn't work out liked we had wanted.

Coming back to the UK after 14 months away was quite hard, our friends and family wanted to know our stories etc which was fun to tell them and it felt nice being the one's who had gone off and done something so different than what others would ever think doing, but after a month or so they just expected us to fit back into 'normal' life and 'get on with it' ... which was the favourite phrase of some people.

But we found it quite hard to fit back into a regular routine again, when all we wanted to do was live in one place for a few months or a few weeks then move on to the next place ... just like we did when we were travelling.

It took us both about 6 months I think to readjust completely back into normal life, but then we did just get our heads down and kind of planned what else we might do.

We made plans for staying put, doing different things, then we also made plans on going travelling somewhere else, in the end things happened the way they did by sticking our heads down and making a life in one place.

But a couple of years ago we both just woke up one morning and had had enough of the life we had lead after NZ, which was in a city btw.

We sold most of our possessions and went volunteering in the country and then got a full time job in a farming job, and we're at our happiest since leaving NZ.

BUT and this is a big BUT ... we've just found out that BUNAC are doing a new WHV which allows people from 18-35 to go to NZ on a 12 month whv and even if you have had a WHV before .... which is sooooo annoying as we we're just about getting settled and now we are seriously thinking about going back to NZ as we loved the place.

Anyhoo, thats enough of that, this could turn into an essay.

Basically I think that if you have any plans of doing more travelling in the future, then start planning now and it'll keep you going until you do go, or at least it will help with the adjustments you need to make back into normal life as such.

And also make plans to do things you haven't done before where ever it is you have come back to ... the problem with normal life is sometimes you don't do enough different things and it can be very hard to adjust after being travelling and always doing different things - plan things you have done before, or local towns etc you haven't been to but might want to visit ... even try volunteering through something like WWOOF for a few days at a time! Reply to this

13 years ago, July 6th 2010 No: 8 Msg: #114955 Delete Edit

biancadee
Bianca Davidson

N Posts: 29

This is an interesting thread that presents a reality. 😊

Indeed, this happens to most of the travelers. Adjusting is not easy. It will take time. Only the travelers know how this feels. Reply to this

13 years ago, July 9th 2010 No: 9 Msg: #115276 Delete Edit

Dave0881
Dave Morgan

B Posts: 14

Thanks for your input folks.

There are loads of good points there about, taking up related hobbies, making the best of the things on offer locally, looking to new ventures etc.

The problem is that all these things are part of my "travelling mindset", and now back in a routine, the motivation is hard to find. I always planned for things to be so different when I got back, and they were, for a few weeks.

I think perhaps the trips I have taken are starting to define who I am. I don't know if this is good or bad. I guess at some stage it would be nice to find a sustainable lifestyle that I'm happy with, yet all I want to do is escape again.

Next big win on the poker table, and I guess I'll be off again 😉 Reply to this

13 years ago, July 9th 2010 No: 10 Msg: #115314 Delete Edit

Silver_Sheep
Just the Two of Us

B Posts: 19

Personally I believe we should all be travellers and of course we were all orginally back in our hunter gatherer days!!

I've got a number of friends I have made over the years whilst travelling, who still travel regularly and don't hold down full time jobs.

A couple of them have made contacts for work in Denmark for instance, and they work there for about 5-6 months of the year, work hard, play hard, and earn good money that they can then save and then they go travelling for the remainder of the year, then back again the following year.

One guy who I speak to regularly has just got back from 4 months travelling around South America, now he's back in Denmark until about the end of Nov, and then he's got plans on going to Asia.

You of course don't have to stay in one country that long, you can travel around a number of European countries on for instance the fruit picking trail, do this for say 5-6 months, earning, saving and travelling at the same time, then for the remaining 6 months just good old travelling ... finding the next place to work whilst enjoying the travels.

And you can do this as long as you want if your a brit!

I met an English couple in Denmark a number of years ago whilst Strawberry picking and they have been travelling around various european countries, working on the harvest trail and generally living the nomad life for around 10yrs.

They were both in their early 30's and had no intention of stopping any time soon - as long as their bodies could do the work they were going to continue.

So it is possible if you want to do it, you've just got to work out if it is what you really want.

It can get lonely if you do it alone, but if you make friends easily then that will help, otherwise if you go as a couple then it can bring you so much closer and help you understand each other that much better too, of course it can go the other way, and I have also met a guy who initially started travelling with his partner of 7 years, but they split up after travelling for 3 yrs as she wanted to settle down in one place but he didn't.

You've really got to ask yourself if it's something you want to do full on and properly as a lifestyle, or is it just something inside of you wanting to get away from committing to something long term?

Only you can answer this question, but you need to really think about it, work out which will make you the most happiest and then just go do it.

Don't look back in a few years and wish you had done something, if you really want to do it then go do it now, if it turns out you are not happy travelling after all you will soon find out, and at least you can come back to something more perminant.

Ultimately don't listen to anyone else, take their opinions on board, but you've got to decide what will make you the happiest, then go it, you've only got one life after all, so you might as well live it in a way that makes you the most happiest!! 😊

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Adapting to "normal" life after a long trip