Whad'ya do when the kids say "NO!"

There are a lot of blog posts about traveling with children, but I had somewhat of a different problem, and I would love to know what the readers think. What do you do when you have the chance to take a trip of a lifetime (for three months) and your almost, but not quite adult children (17, 14) say they will absolutely not go! Of course you could drag them along unwillingly. (Not a pleasant thought.) You could cancel the trip entirely and lose out on this unique opportunity. Or, you could leave them in the care of friends and family while you head off to the other side of the world.

My wife and I chose option 3 and had other people act in loco parentis for the duration of our trip. Many of our friends thought we were crazy (or perhaps just bad parents.) I have described this experience in the post \"Childless in Africa\" on my blog otherguysdime.wordpress.com, and I would love to hear comments from you about what you would do (or did do) when faced with this problem, a problem which does not seem all that uncommon. Do you think we bad parents? Would you go away and leave your teenage children in the care of responsible adults for three months? Please let me know what you think.

Michael Schneider Reply to this

Mine are only 5 months and 21 months at the moment so I'm a long way off having to deal with this problem, although the eldest does like to say NO! to everything even when he clearly means yes. 😊

If I was in your situation I'm almost certain I would choose the third option too and I'm sure my wife would agree. At 17 and 14, I think they're old enough to make their own decisions about their immediate future, and live with any regrets they may feel once they hear about all the fun and adventure you had. The thought of travelling with anyone reluctant to do it doesn't sound fun at all.

If you trust the people you're leaving their care to, and they're happy to be under that care then I don't really see what the issue is...

Here's a question for you:

Now that it's all over (my work filter won't allow me to see your other blog, so this is an assumption), do you think you made the right decision? Also do your children?

Great post btw.... Reply to this

Hi Michael - Im really glad you posted this because I feel like the baddd parent for being a traveller. My boys are 14 and 15 and steadfastly refuse to leave Australia. Their comments on my destination choices are less than complimentary, oldest told his freinds I was in camfreakingwhatia or something and told me I was a freak for going to Papua New Guinea. When I am away im lucky to have a very cool arrangement with their father so he has them as we have joint custody anyway. I always feel like im a bad parent but they seem cool with the idea. I dont know that my sons wouldve ever enjoyed any of the places I visit and they dont dive and arent in love with the ocean so I guess nothings appealed to them yet. I have decided to give them both a RTW ticket for their 18th bdays so they can travel to the destinations they want (Hawaii, Vegas, Jamaica, Canada). Youngest has expressed a little bit of an interest in coming to Bhutan and Nepal next but I leave it up to them. Theyre teens with their whole world here and plugged in to all their friends so I guess I have to look at it as theyre happy and im happy so its a good thing.....and yes one day they will look back and think damn, i shouldve gone with mum! Reply to this

Our teenage son also prefers to stay home and read or play computer games than go out travelling. He is now at the age where he prefers to hang out with his friends than come on a road trip with us.

My husband and I are going away for a short break in the coming week without the kids for our wedding anniversary. Eventhough we are only gonna be away for 3 nights, we can't help but to feel guilty and worried. It must be a parent "thing".

I also felt really guilty when I can't take my youngest son Ryan with me when I went to the Philippines with my eldest son to introduce him to his filipino heritage. My husband thought Ryan is too young to travel overseas at the time so he stayed home with him. Now that Ryan is old enough, we are planning for the whole family to travel to the Philippines end of next year !

It is pretty much an authoritarian rule in our household (until the kids are 18) when to comes to family trip 😄. We like the kids to tag along with major family holidays. Our eldest is not happy about our upcoming trip to New Zealand in Septempber, but I already booked the tickets so there's no backing out. However, we try to give our teenage son some space and let him stay home as he wishes if we are just going out on day trips or short breaks.

Even though we sometimes force our eldest son to travel with us against his will, I also believe that one day he's going to look back and glad that he spent the holidays with his parents.

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