American exploring the world on her own for the next 5 months is doubting her sanity.

Just did a 22 day tour with a group and while I did have fun, I can count on one hand the moments when I was truly happy and stress free (and I would think, "Wow, this must be how others feel all the time"). Most of the time I'm fighting off panic attacks and none of the local food seems to be agreeing with me (to put it delicately). I'm thinking maybe I don't have the mental fortitude for this kind of trip, but I also shall acknowledge the holiday blues- they are playing a factor.

So, my question, any other single ladies (or guys even) who have travelled on their own felt like this? And, if so, what did you do? I'm giving myself another week or two before I cancel the trip, hopefully this will sort out.

😊 Thanks! Reply to this

First, congratulations on making it a month already. Travelling on your own is serious business, and doubts and bouts of loneliness inevitable. At such times, consider why you are travelling and what you hope to get out of it. Your answers can help you find you way to better experiences.

More generally, where are you travelling? There are easier and tougher places for the single person, and which is which is not always obvious. As a single traveller, meeting other people -- both sympathetic locals and other travellers -- can make all the difference. In my experience, the developing world offers the best opportunities for both. Also, some places are better set up for travellers, easier to move around, find accommodation and things to do, etc. For novice global travellers, esp. singles, I find it doesn't get better than southeast Asia, where everything comes together to make possible a memorable experience -- convenient transportation, good food, cheap prices, fine weather, lots to see and do, friendly local people, relatively safe, and lots of other travellers looking for people to do things with. Turkey is also a good exotic destination, with unsurpassed sites. Europe, which might sound like a safe choice, is both expensive and offers limited opportunities to meet local people. The same with North America. And place like India, Africa and South America are best left for experienced solo travellers.

Good luck Reply to this

... my freak out post will prove to be premature.

Let us know how it goes. 😊 Maybe travel isnt for you, but maybe on the otherhand you will come out of this as much of a travel addict as most of us here. 😊


Reply to this

😊 Thanks Katie, I'll give the journal a shot. I've been cleaning up my thoughts for my blog - I do need to put the real emotions somewhere. Reply to this

Perhaps you should slow down your trip a bit... I don't know how fast you are travelling, but when one changes scenery every day and meets new people every day it can be stressfull and very tiring, the best thing to do than is find a place you feel comfortable and just relax for a while... Stay a week or longer at some beach in a nice hostel/hotel/guesthouse, or in a city you really enjoy, or wherever. This is also a good way of meeting some locals and other travellers and make some more contacts. So if you are travelling fast, remember to take it easy and enjoy it, and that you don't have to see the whole world in one go. Don't hold on to your itinerary too tightly, don't try to do everything, and don't pack too much into those 5 month.

Another thing to relieve your stress is just talk to your fellow travellers about your anxieties (like you are doing now on this forum), because the great thing about travelling is that even if they declare you crazy or stupid, it doesn't matter, you will probably never see them again 😊 And most likely they won't and you will discover that every one of those travellers and backpackers has been going through similar experiences at one point or another during their wanderings... I have been travelling for years and still get stressed at times, and sometimes when I am travelling alone for a long time, I feel lonely and depressed and wonder what I am doing it all for. And I wonder why after all those years I still feel like I am a beginner at all this and if travel is really for me, but than I try to think of all the things I have done and experienced and all the good parts of it and I know that anything else would make me terribly unhappy. Travel won't always be fun, and there is stress involved in various different ways (trying to make contact with new people almost every day, looking for a place to sleep, a restaurant, the next bus/train, thinking about your budget, and not being around people you know and places your are familiar with), but if you get past all that there is also a lot you get out of it.

Don't worry, be happy and have fun! Hope you will find a way to make your travels more enjoyable for yourself, and if not, it is not the end of the world. Maybe travelling is not for you, maybe something else will make you relaxed, there are lots of things apart from travelling. Some people skydive, others dance, yet others get their happiness from doing absolutely nothing.

At least you know now that you have heard from a few other travellers, that we all have had similar experiences and at times still feel stressed and lonely. So you are not alone.. Reply to this

After reading other postings here, I'd like to add (to what I wrote above) the necessity, when travelling for months at a time, to take a break at regular intervals. For me, a month on the road and it's time to hole up somewhere comfortable for a week or so where you have nothing more pressing to do than explore the local community or relax on a beach. It provides time and space to settle road-jangled nerves and reorient yourself for the next leg.

I'm also a little concerned about your anxiety over the local foods. The occasional bout of diarrhea is to be expected when you're change diets, and usually nothing to worry about. Carry lomotil and use as needed. Almost always, however, familiar and nutritious foods are available, and if you follow the time-tested rules of eating on the road, you need not fear your dinner plate. Reply to this

Amanda, it sounds as if you are doing mostly organised coach trips. My husband and I did a 24 day round Europe coach trip in 2008 (the first time we had ever holidayed in this way). The pace they set was exhausting and we were already wondering if we would survive at Day 14. We found the group we were with to be quite clicky and were only really comfortable with a few of the 36 people we were travelling with. We kept going because we were seeing wonderful things we knew we would not have chance to see again. There were many frustrations, especially not being able to spend as long as you like looking at the places and sights that you are most interested in. However, we didn't have to worry about any of the travel arrangements or lack of language skills in the many countries we visited.

The hectic pace they set on these tours, with the early rising nearly every day (they gave us a "sleep in" occasionally, to 7.30am!) and the non-stop action all day (especially if you are like us and did all the optional extras - not wanting to miss anything special) nearly killed us and we needed at least a week to recover once we got back home. I'm not sorry we did it as we have lots of amazing memories now, but it certainly took its toll.

My daughter, on the other hand, has just spent 3 months back-packing around Europe and has done it at a more leisurely pace (although she did have a rough timetable as she needed to be in UK for Christmas and then work in the New Year). She seems to have found most of it fairly stress free and has met lots of interesting people while staying in the hostels. Some days she went sight-seeing with others she'd met and some days she went alone. She also gave herself some relaxing days - which is something you don't really get on coach tours.

My husband and I have also had a 15 day coach tour of Egypt and Jordan in October 2009. It was wonderful, too, and the group was a lot more friendly, overall, which added to the enjoyment. I managed to get heat stroke and my husband suffered a sore bum from the camel ride but those things did not detract from our trip much at all. I also have to be very careful what I eat as I cannot eat fatty, spicy or rich foods without feeling the consequences, which is a pain because I love to try new foods in each country. However, there are lots of healthy alternatives on the tours we have been on, including salads and fruits, which can form the bulk of your meals. I just sampled a taster of all the foods that looked interesting but I knew I couldn't really eat - and there were many delicious ones. Just be careful in Egypt - only drink bottled water and do not eat even fruit or salads from stalls or local shops as they will have been washed in local water, which we were warned by our tour guide is not good for many visitors.

If the rest of your touring is on coach tours - make sure you get some down time between each one. If this is not possible, then take some of the "free" afternoons off and don't go on all the "extras". You will miss out on a few things but you will enjoy the rest of the tour much more if you are rested (it will save you heaps of money, too). Go somewhere that is relaxing and good for your soul - a park, beach, concert, sauna etc.- whatever makes you feel whole and happy. (I found a deserted river bank one day and sang opera at the top of my voice, with no worries about people hearing me. Something I had missed greatly while travelling. Felt MARVELLOUS.)

Hopefully you will feel a little more comfortable in NZ and Australia where we all speak English, too. The culture is similar to your own, too, so if this is what is stressing you, remember you have those places to look forward to. We love visiting NZ and, of course, think our country, Australia, is great, too. A lot can depend on who is in the group you are travelling with, too, but don't let them spoil your trip. You can usually find someone to share experiences with and you don't have to become bosom friends to do it.

Have fun and just try and go with the flow. Reply to this

Hi Amanda. Hang in there. I think when you come back home and think about all the things you did and saw, you will appreciate the entire experience!!

Yes, it can be terrifying to travel alone, as well as kinda lonely. Like me, you learn pretty quickly how to be good company for yourself. Don't worry about things and try to 'stay in the moment'. OMG does that phrase come in handy when you are waiting around for a bus, or something goes wrong with your luggage. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself to stay in the moment.

...nd hopefully what ever you were running away from 'bad year' wise won't be waiting for you when you get back homr. Best of luck and looking forward to reading your blogs! Reply to this

Hi Amanda,

Firstly, whatever you are feeling now, and whatever you decide to do, you have already acheived more than many, many people do in a lifetime. What is more, you are creating great memories that you will look back on with increasing pleasure as the years go by.
Travelling is always a mix of highs and lows, especially when you travel on your own, because it is constantly changing.
I can offer you my experiences, and you can see if you can relate to any of them.
The first time I travelled alone was after a relationship break-up, and at first, it just seemed to highlight the fact that I was now alone. The turning point for me came when I realised that my expectations of the whole 'getting away' thing were too great. The reality was that while I could get away from situations and places, I still had to take myself, and all my feelings and emotions with me. So I changed my expectations.
If this is familiar to you, what I suggest is that you accept that the trip would be like life - up and down - and then see it as a wonderful opportunity to have the time and space to identify the things within yourself that are unsettling you, and work out what you need to be happening / doing etc. for them to bother you less. Then when you do go home, you will be an even stronger, happier you.
Some people find it useful to write down what they need, and then make a mini 'action plan' as to how they can meet each need as they go along.
After your hectic touring schedule, perhaps find somewhere you can slow down a little and just enjoy being there. New Zealand and Australia are fantastic places, and the food and language are much more familiar, so that should help to reduce the anxiety. Why not spend a few days staying in one place, which should mean that you meet a variety of other travellers 'passing through', and see if you find someone that you get on with, that you could travel with for a little while.
Make the effort to talk to people, but make sure you listen to their stories too. Everyone has an interesting story to tell. Also, your experiences may be able to help someone else.

I do agree with all the other blogs too - plus, food wise, I would add avoid anything with ice - especially drinks - , and anything like salad which could have been washed in local water etc, especially in Egypt. However, for most of Europe this should not have been a problem, and I wonder if your tummy problems were partly anxiety. That will get better!

Finally, I think the journal is a great idea, and I would also add the following two suggestions.
1. Get someone to take photos of you in the places you visit, rather than you just taking pictures of the scenery etc. They will be much more interesting to look at, and show people in the future. Ask people you have met to be in the shot with you too.
2. For me, having someone to share experiences with is very special. If you are in a wonderful place, and feeling lonely, think how you would like to share it with someone else, then take the photos, collect the leaflets or do whatever you need to, so that you can share it with people in the future.
I have done this whenever I have travelled, and, in 8 days time , I am about to go travelling again for 4 months with my husband, to take him to many of the places that I first visited alone...and of course to discover lots of new ones too.
Enjoy....your travel now will last a lifetime. XX Reply to this

So a huge "THANK YOU" to all of you who replied with words of wisdom and suggestions.

It's now been 24 days since I posted my "SOS" post (sounds like the beginning of an AA meeting) and I'm happy to say I'm still truckin'. I've since been back to Paris and then to Prague again, then a week at a friends in Germany, a week in Budapest (where I met up with a friend for a few days) and now a week in Athens. The slower pace is helping as did seeing familiar faces. Plus, I have found myself chanting in my head "It's an adventure, it's an adventure" a few times when things go wrong and it tends to help me not take traveling problems as seriously.

I should change the blog name to "How Amanda Got Her Groove Back." Except, I'm uber white and never had groove to begin with. Same gist though.

Thanks guys!
Amanda Reply to this