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Married to traveler wanna be, how can I help her do this

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We probably cant give up my occupation,too many people count on us. My wonderful wife has had an urge to do things I dont have time or inclination for (at least not as extreme). How do you find a partner? How do we explain this to those around us? Etc!
13 years ago, March 17th 2009 No: 1 Msg: #66301  
N Posts: 10
Hello. First time poster here. I'm hoping my wife will come here for some inspiration. She's the traveler,not me. My occupation gives us a good income but my time comes in small slices,7-10 days at a time. We've been married 25 great years but I know she'll regret not pushing herself in this area.
We're at a place where we can afford for her to travel,and I could survive with her away for a time (missing but not resenting). I could make it thru a month a year or maybe 3-4 months every other, and to heck with what other people think.
It would be ideal if we knew a woman of similar income,abilty,age and temperment that wants to do the same things,but we dont. Any ideas? I dont believe she wants to do this all by herself, and despite her being very capable I would be very fearful for her if she did.
We cant be the only ones to ever make this happen. I appreciate those that sell everything,etc, but I couldnt do that to go with her.
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13 years ago, March 18th 2009 No: 2 Msg: #66321  
B Posts: 11.5K
Hi Tim,

Welcome to TravelBlog 😊

You could try looking through the Looking For Travel Companions forum.

Another option is to look through recently posted blog entries from areas your wife would like to go to, and contact the blogger to see if they will still be in the area when she will.

Best of luck, your wife will find plenty of inspiration and encouragement here 😊
Reply to this

13 years ago, March 18th 2009 No: 3 Msg: #66358  
Hello Tim 😊

Welcome to TravelBlog.

Your wife will be very welcome if she comes here. This forum is especially for new travellers.

Your situation seems a little like mine. I am the traveller and my boyfriend isnt, but he occasionally comes with me.

I think you are doing great with your wife. You are encouraging her to do what she wants in life. That is all that can reasonably be expected of you. My boyfriend is the same and I feel very lucky to be with somebody like that. Sometimes he gets nervous when the places I go get a bit adventurous but he never stands in my way and he is always available on the other end of the internet if I need any help.

If your wife really wants to go, now it is up to her to take the big step. It is scary for all of us so tell her she is not alone.

Maybe a year is a long time for your wife to be away, even if you wouldnt resent it. But maybe you could join her some place for a holiday with the time you do get off. And you are right, never mind what other people think. Life is too short to take this into account too much.

Lots of women travel alone, including me. Your wife would meet others along the way. And you would be available to phone or email if she has any problems. But problems dont happen often.

Opposites attact, so there is no need for you to go with your wife or be like her to have a wonderful relationship. In fact, I think me and my boyfriend being opposites enhances the relationship.

Mel
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13 years ago, March 18th 2009 No: 4 Msg: #66367  
Hello Tim

This is a very good question - not an uncommon situation this one. One partner has plenty of time and inclination to travel, but the other one doesn't.

For what it is worth, my idea would be to meet up with your wife when she is travelling. For example, you could both fly to the chosen destination together - be with her as she finds her way around, and then head back while she continues on - that way you know exactly what she is seeing and can understand it more.

I often say to non-travelling inclined friends of mine "I wish you could see what I see with my eyes, I wish you could feel what I experience even for a short time". Go with her and share these early days and see her eyes wide with discovery and you perhaps will understand, even in a small way, what drives someone like your wife (and Jo, Mel and me!). Perhaps if you do this once or twice, then you both will be able to work out the best compromise to keep you both happy.

Now onto the travelling companions, normally one meets them by actually travelling, so by letting your wife commence this process, it is likely that travel buddies will be found along the way, and it is very possible for those of a similar age and gender to meet up at another location in the future. Reply to this

13 years ago, March 18th 2009 No: 5 Msg: #66374  
Hey Tim, One way to travel is to do it in 10 day slices, as you put it, so you can experience this together. Find a destination and put down temorary roots so that you can see the place's daily rhythm. If you have the money, stay in a studio apartment and get out in the morning to have coffee with the neighbors, at the cafe. Come back late at night after hanging out at the local watering hole. We have come to find out that those that have not traveled with us, even though they care for us, just aren't that interested in hearing us talk about what we did. There are many different ways to travel, going out for months at a time is one way. But maybe having mini-travels to one area is another way, so you will share that experience with each other.
Welcome to the best inspiration and advice site! Reply to this

13 years ago, March 19th 2009 No: 6 Msg: #66531  
N Posts: 10
Thanks so far for all the feedback. I know this will help encourage discussion at my house. I appreciate the advice for trying to participate in some way. I wouldnt want to lose the shared experience entirely,and I'd hate to lose any of our closeness.
Right now we're in the logistical phase, moving in the direction of figuring out what we need to change financially and get some tentative timelines to shoot for. Reply to this

13 years ago, March 22nd 2009 No: 7 Msg: #66731  
Tim
congratulations on being such a caring bloke in encouraging your loved one to follow her dreams!!! What a guy!! I hope she goes......somewhere....anywhere.....got to do it!!! Reply to this

13 years ago, March 22nd 2009 No: 8 Msg: #66732  
A woman travelling alone is quite safe, too.....just have to pick your places to go.....you soon meet others who travel alone......Short trips to say....Vietnam.....Laos.......China....Europe......for starters....she'll come home filled with enthusiasm and pics and maybe she'll inspire you.......?????
Reply to this

13 years ago, March 23rd 2009 No: 9 Msg: #66746  
Hello Tim,

I travel without my husband a lot (although I travel with my small child, so its slightly different). For the past 6 weeks my son and I have been travelling NZ and Australia, but next week my husband is meeting us in Hong Kong and then we are all backpacking round China together for 4 weeks. Meeting up with your wife at certain points along her travels might be a great option,as others have pointed out,it certainly works well for us! Reply to this

13 years ago, March 29th 2009 No: 10 Msg: #67421  
I think you should let your wife do what she wants. Don’t think her helpless or incapable to promote her business. If she will make little search on the good forums, she will get may co-travelers or companions. Reply to this

13 years ago, March 30th 2009 No: 11 Msg: #67612  
I knew a couple ,very well ,who had this same problem.They had a family friend who was a traveller but not so well off.The couple paid his airfares only and they have travelled all over the world over last 10yrs.Every 6mths or so they return to Australia for a few months for her to spend time with Hubby and for companion to work to earn their spending $ Reply to this

13 years ago, March 30th 2009 No: 12 Msg: #67613  
*his spending $ Reply to this

13 years ago, March 30th 2009 No: 13 Msg: #67614  
I am a bit confused by msg 10, 11 and 12. Reply to this

13 years ago, March 31st 2009 No: 14 Msg: #67758  
N Posts: 10
Hello Cookiek,

I would think travel with a young child would actually be harder except for his company. The Australia - New Zealand thing is something my 21 yo son and my wife have thought about for years. He just finished college and is as yet unemployed. He is more of a homebody than me but would go with his Mom and like it because in most ways they are so similar and he enjoys her company.
They looked at New Zealand but the airfare put her off the idea somewhat. Did you depart from the US?
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13 years ago, March 31st 2009 No: 15 Msg: #67759  
Hello Tim 😊
If your wife is flexible about when she flies, she may be able to score a much cheaper ticket. What people pay even on the same flight can vary quite a lot. I generally use an internet search engine, and then grab the good deal flight when I see one. Reply to this

13 years ago, March 31st 2009 No: 16 Msg: #67775  
Hi Tim,

No, I departed from london and flew via Hong Kong to Auckland with New Zealand Air. I have only ever travelled with my son, so I don't know any different! To me, I prefer travellling with him, I would rather that than go alone actually. He's 6 now, but very level headed and easy going and very used to travel as we do a lot, so its easier than you would think!

Your wife and son would love New Zealand. It is a beautiful country, just amazing. It is safe, easy to travel by train or car (or campervan as we did!), there are so many cheap places to stay once you are out there, the camp sites (they also have cabins if you are not in a van or tent) are very well priced and there are loads of them, and the public transport in the cities is cheap and efficient. Australia is wonderful too, same thing with th campsites and cabins, so much cheaper than staying in hotels, so if the airfare is expensive, you can save money on accomodation.

The airfare can be the only drawback, but as Mell said, you can get good deals if you are flexable. I booked a couple of months in advance after seaching for a cheap flight on the internet. We flew mid week, at an inconvienient time, with a long layover - but it got us there and didn't break the bank! It would be a great time for your son to go before he finds a career! Reply to this

13 years ago, April 1st 2009 No: 17 Msg: #67859  
N Posts: 10
Hi Terry-Ann,

This is Janet, the lucky wife with itchy feet with a very generous, understanding husband. You obviously have same. I love that you are traveling with your young son. We have done a lot of travel in the States, Canada and Caribbean which is a LOT of area to cover. I took my daughter to London when she was 13 and then to Paris when she turned 16. I deliberately did this to help us through those difficult teenage years. Gave us shared adventures and memories that helped smooth that rocky road. Dad went with our son mountain climbing and scuba diving so we have many great travel memories.
Now I am looking to do something with my son Timmy. Actually, our first choice was New Zealand, being inspired by the Lord of the Rings movies and the fantastic race around the world called The Amazing Race, a TV show that has been to New Zealand twice. We were actually looking into the camper van scenario! Love to camp. We were hugely disappointed when the cheapest airfare was $2500/pp US dollars. Yikes! So we have been looking at Egypt and Turkey instead. I started longing for New Zealand again when I saw your post and got online to recheck airfares. They are half what they were a month ago! So now it's back to New Zealand as our first choice. Here's our biggest concern: I know that they are headed into colder weather there and many of the things we want to do (river sledging, bungee jumping, Zorbing) are not as appealing in cold weather. What's the weather like there now? We could jump on a plane practically anytime, and I think the sooner the better for southern hemisphere. Oooooh boy! I'm getting that excited anticipation that I love about travel! Reply to this

13 years ago, April 1st 2009 No: 18 Msg: #67861  
B Posts: 11.5K
Hi Janet :-)

Really pleased you're back to the NZ plan (yes, I'm biased). Sure it's heading into autumn, but it's been a good summer apparently and not long past the most consistent time of the year weather-wise.

Here's some links which might be useful;
www.metservice.co.nz
www.zorb.co.nz
bungy.co.nz
taupobungy.co.nz
www.jasons.com - adventure sports
Reply to this

13 years ago, April 1st 2009 No: 19 Msg: #67865  

This is Janet,



Welcome to TravelBlog Janet. 😊 Reply to this

13 years ago, April 1st 2009 No: 20 Msg: #67888  
Hello Janet, good to see you here too!

The cost of airfares has been dropping in the past few months and if you are dilligent in checking good flight sites on a regular basis, you will find a great deal.

It is a long flight to NZ from North America (just like to my home country in Australia) and on some routes they may stop over in Hawaii or another Pacific Island. This would help break the journey, but it will cost more.

Give yourself a bit of time in both the North and South islands, it is a beautiful country (and I'm not biased). The best way to see the country is with your own car, but you'll be driving on the left side of the road. If you wish this option, check the cheap deals that you can sometimes get with a fly-drive option.

How cold you find the weather will depend on where your home is and what weather you are used to. But just think, if it is a cold, wet and windy day, your son will probably think it a perfect setting for an attack by orcs or an appearance of the Ringwraiths!

And yes, you do have a generous and understanding husband - obviously a true gentleman. Reply to this

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