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Published: March 11th 2015
Hey Hey Hey! Me again, here to add the second to last leg of my South American adventure. I honestly think part of the reason I am so slow is that because I know when I finish writing about this trip... it's over. wahh, wahh, wahh... 😞
La Paz, Bolivia is where I'll pick the blov back up.
I left you as we were saying our final goodbyes to Cynthia, all three English girls, and the not so couple, couple. Down 6. We still had Russell, 2nd direction, wormy, and Germy. 8 originals left. We went to our first "group meeting" for the La Paz, Bolivia to Buenos Aires, Argentina leg. We sat down to our meet our new guide, Alfredo, although he did not look like an Alfredo. He immediately shot that down and said his name.... buuut we couldn't remember how to say it for the first few days so we called him KitKat in our brains until we could remember how to say his name. Don't act like this is surprising, you know we're special.
At first glance, he seemed very laid back and very eager to party. You could tell he was going through
the motions of what a guide "must say and do" at these initial meetings, when all he really wanted to do was hang out. Next to him was the first newbie. He is from England, but born in Australia so he thinks he's Aussie, but he couldn't be more English. He came on this tour "to eat great steak and drink great wine". This sounded like we could be friends. The other two newbies weren't there, but they were also English. So only 3 new people, everybody else we knew. However, Russell still went ahead and introduced himself. "Hey guys, you may know me, I'm Russell" haha, I miss that dufus. So, a perfect size group. Bec and I were kind of scared we'd get another German and then she and Germy would be.. just that, but then again we kind of hoped for a German because maybe they could just be their own friends and we could hang out with wormy. Again, we don't have any real beef with Germy and I'm not exactly sure how she got to such a high level of annoyance, but she's way on up there. Like.. I can't even see her, she's so
far out of the annoyance zone.
I can't remember now exactly but I think this is the night we went out. We went to another hostel. Gah, it was so good to see new people out and about, not necessarily our new people, but other travelers having a good time. We were standing around watching people. The bartenders were so drunk they kept giving us the wrong change, actually paying us to get a drink! The guy giving out "free shots" on the bar was pouring it everywhere. I never tasted it because it looked disgusting, but I'm fairly certain they could have put anything in that bottle and people would have been loving it. 2nd direction would line up like little baby birds just waiting for a drop of it! It was hilarious! A drop is about all they would get too because the guy pouring couldn't hold the bottle still, so they came away looking like they'd just had a fruit juice shower. Every ounce of it dripping down their chins and onto their clothes! Whoever was in line "next" was the best person to watch because they knew it was going to get everywhere, yet in
their minds, they told themselves they could catch it. Every time, in preparation for the guy to come to them, they would stand straight, head back, mouths wide open, eyes wandering crazily to the person next to them, waiting for the first bit of sugar to hit their lips and dribble down to their belly. The guy would hold the bottle over them, as he danced, spilling more and more each time. Believe me, it was way more entertaining from afar!!
We stood tiredly off to the side just taking it all in, watching people in their drunkenness. One group of people had this stuffed animal. They would dance around it, wear it, dance with it, drop it, squeeze it, love it. We never could figure out the point of it but if it was near you, you had to dance. It was very entertaining, until they started to drag us into it. It's always funny when someone else is making a fool of themselves, but when they pull you off your stool and make you "drop it like its hot" over a stuffed animal, you realize just how little you've had to drink! Yes, it happened. I 100%
guarantee you no one in that group remembers a thing about that animal today! Which leads me to my next point..
How to get robbed in La Paz.. after looking at you and knowing you're not a local or fluent Spanish speaker.. all you need to do is get drunk. You'll be robbed, no doubt. People get robbed when they aren't drunk, of course, but being drunk is a sure thing. See they don't have cabs in La Paz. They have cars, that have drivers, that they call cabs, but they're not official cabs. Even if you go through your hostel. They call someone and all of a sudden this random car pulls up and motions you to get in. We heard many horror stories. Thankfully we did not have any issues!! Good little girls we are. 😉
We made it home safe and sound and straight to bed. We woke up to jackhammers. It was not a lovely start to our last day in LaPaz.
Sidenote: Last November, when I was in Nicaragua, people were raging over this book called "Marching Powder". I had never heard of it, but it was hot on the "backpacker circuit".
When I got back home, I bought it off Ebay. It is the true story of an English guy who successfully smuggled drugs from Bolivia back to the UK for years, until that one time he got caught. He spent a number of years in San Pedro, the La Paz jail. This jail is unlike any other jail in the world. It is its own community, literally. The inmates, of course, can't leave, but their family members come and go. You have to BUY your cell. They live there, have shops and restaurants inside, even a school for the children. A jail. Also, supposedly where the worlds purest cocaine is manufactured. Anyway, this is all to say that I did not see the jail bc now all you can see is the outside wall, but that book is about the man (inmate) who started a "tour company" for tourists to visit the jail, spend the night even. It was a main La Paz attraction for several years, even ranked in Lonely Planet (if that's your sort of thing), until tourists started to get raped, overdose, or this that and the other. Some people ruin everything. The book was published in
2003 and is a very quick and extremely eye opening/interesting read. Also, could not be a better example of how corrupt Bolivia was, and still is to this day.
Since all I'd being seeing was the outside wall, I opted to go with a few others to "The Valley of the Moon". Yeah, we didn't know what that meant either. It's just a little ways outside of the ever hectic La Paz. As you first go in, it's easy to see why it's named this, but then you remember the photos you've seen of the moon, and realize it's nothing like those photos. This place is filled with rock formations caused by thousands of years of erosion. I picture the moon with a gray, sandy softish floor, when you step it just puffs little dust clouds up from beneath your boot. A smooth, easy to see land with a couple not so deep craters here and there, like built in cereal bowls. Muuch, unlike this death trap we were walking around. Jagged rough sand shooting up out of the Earth. The track was narrow and often uneven, which I like. You would never find that in the US. It
would be barricaded or guardrailed (new word) everywhere. In some spots if you missed a step you were a goner. Like a big fat steak on a fork. It was a bizarre place, but I think the most bizarre piece was the absolute silence. It was deathly silent, until.. the cameraman of the year made his debut.
Keep in mind we were a little delirious, but this man... he was amazing. He would get down in these squat like/lunge positions to take photos. Wouldn't that be great news "Aussie and American girls die at Valley of the Moon due to lack of oxygen while laughing at cameraman". It was uncontrollable. It was eerily silent, and at the same time we spotted him just a couple feet away, we die! You know when you see models in a photo shoot changing their position every second.. this was him, trying to the THE BEST shot. Right leg out in front, kneel, no, stand, no, squat, yes, yes, that's it, lunge, little lower, back a bit, freeze, point toe, camera up, freeze! We die! Then we start to take our own photos with his method. We, officially, could not breathe. Tears, gasps
of air, more tears, the rush of blood to your face. Uncontrollable.
Somehow, we gathered what was left of ourselves and moved along, chuckling to ourselves every so often in remembrance of the cameraman. We wandered aimlessly through these strange formations, admiring somewhere in the back of our minds where we were. You could walk out to little points with drops just below to sudden death, or up to points with panoramic views. We sat for a bit in this little hut just to take a breather. It was nice. It was also roasting hot.
In this group, were all the new English guys, which allowed for some observations. The one we'd met at the meeting, was extremely camera happy. He took photos of EVERYTHING. As in, holding the camera up to the window and holding the click button. Click, click, click, click, click.. 45 photos in 20 seconds, of nothing. Faster than I can actually say the word "click". Another of them, was 38, tall, and mute. If you tried to have a conversation, it ended very quickly with one word answers and then you were so shocked by the one word answers that you couldn't think
of any more questions to ask. The next one was an outgoing jokester, not afraid to be an idiot. He is English, but Turkish first, and wouldn't let you forget it. So we had the clicker, the mute, and the Turk. Bec and I were so thankful just to have new people, and bonus that we liked 2 of the 3. It's not that we didn't like the mute, but one can only try so many times for a simple conversation.
We all meandered our way out and back to our transport. We watched it rain as we drew closer to the bustle of the city. I think we were each subconsciously preparing ourselves for the night bus that evening. We were going to leave La Paz and head to Sucre. It was probably about a 10 hour ride? A few more errands and we made it to the bus station, which was notably.. beautiful. A bright yellow building with windows covering the front. I later found out it was designed by Gustave Eiffel, designer of the Eiffel tower. What? Why? You may ask, well.. join the club. I have no idea. Inside was just as busy as outside.
People are paid to just stand there and yell out destinations. It's quite annoying. "SUCREEEEE, POTOOOOOSI, UYUUUNI, El AAAAALTO"
There was a protest or strike going on somewhere causing all the buses to be off schedule. Meaning, we had to sit in the station until further notice. I decided to go to the toilet, which I will forever regret. First, you wait in line with women pushing to get in, like your in a line that is being smushed by the front and back. Then, you see the entrance is basically a rectangle cut into a wall. I had to bend to fit inside. Next, you pay the woman behind the barred window and she unpleasantly hands you a few squares of TP, or as some say "loo roll". You take the last steps down into the room only to realize that the floor is flooded, with what I will forever tell myself was water. As you're trying not to splash sed water onto yourself, women are still constantly pushing to get in. You ignore it as you try to see how they are working the toilets. A more difficult process than one might think. You must turn the
tap on, filling the small bucket with water, proceed to stall, do your business as fast as humanly possibly, retrieve filled bucket, and "flush". All the while one woman is walking around with a squeegee mop sloshing "water" all over the place. Finally, use the spray bottle of soap to pour on your hands, rinse and get the frank out. Remind yourself how to breathe properly and go about your way, shoving previous experience into the far far far crevices of your brain!! I passed Bec on her way and simply told her to "prepare yourself", even though there is nothing she could have done. And to think.. we. paid. for. that.
Not that much longer and we were soon to depart. As I got on, one part of 2nd direction was sitting in the front seat. I sat with him for the extra leg room. I was very surprised and pleased with this bus. It was far above more comfy than any other night bus. We were all dressed warmly bc it was freezing outside, but they provided extra warm blankets, which was nice. KitKat strongly advised us not to get off the bus when we stopped. We
sat back, and shortly into the ride, the driver slammed on the breaks, causing the door between us to fly open. Hello. Not much longer after that, I fell asleep. I woke up to people getting on and off, bumping into me every time. We were at another bus station. It was probably 1 or 2 in the AM, but it was like midday out there. People everywhere, laughing, talking, drinking, yelling. A mixture of intrigue and fear. Kitkat told us to stay on bc when they were ready to leave, they left. If you're there or not. Plus, it kind of looked like a scene from Walking Dead with people just aimlessly walking around, nowhere to go, nowhere to be, bumping into one another. Not something I wanted any part of getting lost in.
Next I knew, we were arriving in Sucre. As I got off I heard my name. It was the young English girls! They took the nightbus the night before and had a horrible experience, that including them peeing on the side of the road right by the bus. haha Quick chat, then goodbyes again.
Sucre is also known as the "White City" bc
most of the buildings are painted white. It is also the official capital of Bolivia, sitting at nearly 2800m above sea level. We went straight to the "activity center" to see what we could do here. Horseback riding, hiking, rock climbing, four wheelers, mountain biking, etc. They all sounded great, yet were all really expensive. Bolivia is the cheapest place. How could these activities be so expensive? The more we talked, the more we realized... well if you want to ride four wheelers (aka "quadbikes"), you can only go 2 at a time, or if you want to do this, we only have this.. blah, blah. I was no longer interested. 2nd direction, Russell, germy and wormy went to the park to write in their diaries. Mute went hiking by himself. The rest of us went to a balcony for happy hour. All back together for dinner that night at a Dutch place where Wormy taught us how to play perverted version of Go Fish. These were the only cards they had. ha, Entertaining. More entertaining was us trying to speak Dutch. Back to the hotel, then out on the town. The town was dead. Going out onto the street,
very creepy feeling. We walked a good ways to some bar. Outside that bar was an old pay phone, that was inside a dinosaur. Talk about entertaining. haha We went inside and made fools of ourselves, enjoying every second. Group Karaoke is all that needs to be said. 😉
Late start the next day, nothing planned, so why not check out the market and then get a massage and mani/pedis. Market was a food market, not crafts. Meat aisle, don't do it. Bit more of wandering, then on to the "salon". We were looked up and down when we walked in. The worst massage. Ever. It was a whoooole lot of baby oil and a whoooole lot of fast rubbing. At one point I saw the oil drip from my back and table to the floor. My girl never even moved her feet. She just stood there fingerpainting on my back. The. Worst. I would have preferred she just drew letters and let me try to guess them. Becs was not much better. We should have canceled the mani/pedis. But we are not that bright. My girl made one of my fingers bleed, Bec had on her pain face
Leaving his day shift from the depths of the mine
Sadly, he will die an early, preventable, death.the whole time. Awful. When we got back, the Clicker was telling us how great his massage was! Why the face! Said it was one of the best ones he'd ever had. Fail for us.
Oh! When we were in La Paz we saw a group of people dressed as zebras. There were about 8 of them walking up the sidewalk. We looked, laughed, and kept going. While in Sucre, we discovered what that was all about. In Bolivia, there are, technically, rules of the road, but no one follows them. Crazy drivers just going when and wherever they want. Red light? Not a problem, looks green to me. Meaning, people die, and mostly pedestrians. So.. in larger cities, such as La Paz and Sucre.. there are volunteers to help combat this problemo. The crosswalks are called zebras, because they are striped, get it? And actually, "zeh-brahs" not "zee-bras". So, these clever little volunteers dressed as zebras go to the zebras at major intersections to help the flow of pedestrian traffic. When the lights change, and its your turn to cross, they get out there blowin their whistles, doin the two step, wavin you across. If they were paid
Basilio and I
I'm smiling under my mask, but as I look at this photo.. it makes me sad. to do this... I would have applied. It made my day, everytime. I wanted to cross the street as much as possible just to watch them dance around and pretend we that are the bestest friends in the history of ever! Genius idea. Kudos to the zebras on zebras.
The next day we did a whole lot of nothing. Waited around for our transport to Potosi. We waited, and waited some more. We went and ate pizza we waited so long. Eventually, it came. Everyone was exhausted. It was just us on this ride so we were able to spread out. We couldn't get the DVD player to work so we were forced to look out the window, how terrible!! No, I'm joking, it was beautiful. I couldn't sleep and neither could the clicker, so he moved to the seat in front of me and we played I Spy. Then he wanted to play 20 questions. Where you think of anything in the world and the other person has to guess it within 20 questions. I beat him, he wasn't happy. It was funny.
Scenic views, gorgeous clouds, panoramic view overlooking Potosi, pretty sunset. Overall not to shabby
bus ride. We checked in, then went for dinner. We played Germys favorite game of Mafia. This started back when we were on the Inca Trail. Somehow it took over and thats all they (2nd direction+G/W) wanted to do when we were in the whole group. Bec was not a fan. I wasn't either, but the look on Becs face every time someone said "lets play mafia!" was priceless!! At dinner, Kitkat was telling us about this movie called "El Diablo del Minero" about this young boy who was a miner at the nearby Silver Mines. "The Devils Miner". We had an option to visit the mines the next day, so that night we crammed in the little TV room of the hotel and watched this film. I can't explain a lot of things of this trip, but this one really pulls on my heart.
Potosi is the highest city, of its size, on Earth and UNESCO declared it a world heritage site in 1987. Before then, it was the richest city in the world, more so than London or Paris. It is a silver mining town.
I sat down to watch the film.. completely oblivious to what
I was about to see and hear.
Actual footage following this young 14 year old boy, Basillio, with his even younger, brother. He began working in the mine at age 10. TEN. He was all too abruptly forced to be the man of the house. A cameraman followed him day in and day out. Showing his fear to enter the mine, the struggle to provide for his family- mom, brother, and younger sister.
The people here believe in God outside of the mine, but inside lives "Tio", the god inside the mine. Tio is, essentially, the Devil. Once a year they have a ceremony to bless the new year of the mines, as well as honor and acknowledge Tio. They sacrifice a llama, pouring its blood all over the entrances to the mine. Then have a feast and celebration. In the film you see Basillio and his brother visit Tio. They bring him gifts of alcohol and cigarettes. They greet him, pray to him for their safety, ask for a warning if something happens, etc. They are frightened by him, but also understand his "importance". They must acknowledge him or something bad will happen. When an accident happens,
they believe Tio has been upset by someone. Every day, EVERY miner greets Tio on their way in and on their way out. There are many different Tios located throughout the whole mountain. Just seeing Tio on that film scared me. Imagine having to and/or needing to visit it everyday when you were TEN. The price to keep yourself and family alive must overcome that internal fear.
Stop what you're doing and look to your left and right. Think about what you have now, but more so what you had at ten years old. Your biggest fear at ten. What? Striking out at baseball? Falling down on your roller blades? Having to eat green beans at dinner? The children worked in appalling conditions.
The next morning we were going to visit the mine. We went to get prepared... hard hats, overshirts/pants, socks, boots. I've never been in a mine, I was nervously excited.
To my surprise, there was Basillio. The Basillio, in real life. This is 9 years after that film was made. He now takes small groups to the mine. I thought this was so neat. We watched him as such a fearful young child and
now he's made his way out. He has turned the thing that once was so awful to him into something to better his life and educate others. We had another woman guide who spoke better English. She was a nut. Always laughing, making jokes, coca leaves all in her teeth. We stopped to see the miners market. This is when I found out the mine is still, to this very day, operational. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. Was it the same as in the film? Do children still work in there?
We were brought to the market to buy "gifts" for the miners. What kind of gifts? Yes, I thought you'd ask. We bought dynamite, real live actual dynamite. 100% pure alcohol, coca leaves, gloves and orange soda. They chew the leaves for elevation, but mostly bc they do not eat while working, there's no time. Please notice the mans cheek in my photo. It is so packed full with coca leaves, it actually looks like he has a golf ball in there. We stop to see where the silver goes once it comes out of the mine. Next, we were near the entrance, one of
Mine entrance
note the blackened splatter of llama blood above over 500 entrances on this mountain. I imagine cutting it down the middle and seeing all the tunnels and passageways.. like you'd see in one of those ant farm things. The mountain is just under 5000m tall. As soon as we got out of the car, we saw the miners moving the carts back and forth along the tracks. The old school carts you see in cartoons with the up and down levers. I could not believe this. The mine is still running. What were we doing there? How could this still be taking place?
We turned on our headlamps, secured our doctor type masks, and went inside. First thoughts.. dark and wet. Second thought.. small. There was really just enough room for the cart to go by. We walked, or tried not to slip really, over the tracks. "Cart!" That meant get to the side ASAP. Backs pressed up against the wall, loud cart coming towards us. We were just inches from it passing by. The first time, I think we were all in shock. I, for one, still couldn't believe this mine was operational. We followed the tracks, passing boarded up holes, old wooden ladders, dark turn
off tunnels blocked with iron gates, constant drips of water, etc. Not somewhere you would want to be if you are claustrophobic. We came to a group of miners making dynamite. Smelled like fireworks. Made me nervous.
Came to another set of miners working, but they wanted to talk. They were making jokes, laughing, seemingly loving us being there. It blew my mind. All I could think was that they were going to die at such a young age. A preventable death. Yet this is what they do. This is what they know. Work the mines.
One man passed us on his way out. He was finished for the day. He had been at the furthest point in the mine, drilling. He did have on a ventilated mask, but not one high tech enough to prevent silicosis. He was covered in dust, only showing the glossiness of his eyeballs. Everything else was thick, gray dust. The dust that has filled his lungs, and will undoubtedly kill him sooner rather than later.
Roughly 16,000 people still work there. Right this minute, as you read this, people are working in that mine. They say they have raised the age
requirements for work, but have they really? And for what? So someone else can have a new silver necklace. It hurts my brain, and my heart. Walmart just raised their minimum wage per hour to $10 an HOUR. On average.. an 8 hour shift in the mine gets you 120 Bolivianos. Roughly $17.50 US a DAY.
I'm telling you all this because it made an impact on me. Of the whole trip, this experience is one that will neither be forgotten nor replaced.
We kept on. They use pulleys to raise/lower buckets. There were miners constantly taking loads of rubble out, empty carts back in. Next, we were going to see/meet Tio. I will admit, it frightened me. I know he is not real, but do you see that photo??? NOT my thing. They are all painted red, have big black horns, and a huge penis. Yes, you read that. We brought him "tokens of thanks".. coca leaves that we spread over him, alcohol that we poured on Pacha Mama (Mother Earth), took a sip of, and poured onto him, and lastly a special cigarette that our guide lit and he "smoked" while we sat with him. Oh,
he has a huge penis to bless the miners with fertility, or something like that. Weird. Bizarre. Culture shock. The sip of 100% pure alcohol made me feel like a fire breathing dragon. It was vile.
Be grateful for what you have and where you are. It's an order.
Moving on...
As we were there, my stomach started to not feel so hot. We thanked Tio, Basillio, our other guide, and were soon out and back into the town. We went for a steak lunch. Not a good idea. I could not get back to the room fast enough to lay down. I was one of the last few that had not gotten sick this whole trip. I hadn't had stomach issues, or elevation problems, no throwing up, no headaches, nothing. That night people were going to dinner, but as we were walking to the restaurant I decided I'd be better off just going to the grocery and back to the room. I got some noodle soup and gatorade. It was great, but after that.. nightmare. I will spare you the details but just know that it was a baaad situation for my stomach. I think it
was something from the night before, whilst playing stupid Mafia.
We drove to the town of Uyuni the next day. It was not a horrendous ride, but my stomach was still sensitive, and a sitting on a bus for a couple of hours is not the most idealistic spot. Uyuni is the last stop before the Salt Flats begin, which took 3 days to cross. We arrived at the hotel and settled in for a sec before heading to dinner. I hadn't eaten anything yet and was hungry. Kitkat took us to a pizza place. I love pizza. I ordered my usual Hawaiian, ready to eat. In the group of 15, I was the only one who's food hadn't come out. The smells of everyone elses started to gross me out. The queasiness was coming back. Mine finally came out, but I only took two bites before passing it off to the Clicker. Everyone was raring to go out to this bar Kitkat had been telling us about. He wouldn't say what exactly made it so great, but that it was a "you've got to do this" kind of thing.
At this point, I didn't care what it
was, I wanted to lay down. I headed back in the freezing cold in hopes that my stomach would quit it with the issues. The next day I found out that the thing about that bar. It doesn't have regular ole cups or mugs. They use cups and spouts that look like human body parts. I won't go into detail bc I know my mother is going to read this, but I will tell you this... If there's one thing I'm not sad about missing, it's drinking out of a penis cup. There were some raunchy pictures that I'm more than thankful not to be involved in! haha
Up the next morning to stroll through the market and for a bit of food before the Salt Flats. I had rice. Over lunch we found out that we were going to be in an SUV (4x4) for the next 4 days and that whoever we ride with, we will be with all of those days. 4 people in 1, 5 in the next, 3 in the other. Immediate strategy in action. Russell and Swissa were in on our strategy, and it worked perfectly. Us 4 in one, 2nd direction plus
Germy and Wormy in the next, and Mute, Turk, Clicker, and Kitkat in the last. By this point though, we were buds with the Clicker and the Turk and most of the time the Mute, but he was less mute now, and more of a perv. When they say men think about sex every 15 seconds, or minute, or whatever it is.. this guy is on target. He's the one that brought the average down.
Anyway... we loaded our bags and we on our way. Sadly, I can't remember our drivers name, but he knew about 2 words in English. Hello and... wait, maybe he only knew the one. But as cheesy as it is... every language knows a smile!!! haha, but really. He knew we were having a good time. We started off with some horrendous music. The kind that makes you wanna bang your head against the window, but then something changed and we were on 80s and 90s hits. It was awesome.
Our first stop was the train graveyard. This is where old or abandoned trains come to die. Loads of trains, out in the middle of nowhere, graffiti and all. We went in and
around, peeking through them, jumping across them, the lot. We even took a cheesy group photo. It was neat, checked off the list, back to the 4x4, which was a land cruiser. an oldy but a goody.
So between Uyuni, which we just left and the Atacama Desert in Chile, are the salt flats. They now cover over 7500 square miles! Of course, it is Bolivias main salt mining center. Yes, its a thing. Table salt comes from here. As we began driving, there were mountains and volcanoes in the distance. Keep in mind there is no road, no real direction. I don't know how the drivers even knew where they were going because the salt can change overnight, for the most part there aren't any tracks or paths to follow. We couldnt get the seatbelts to work, which in normal everyday life is a huge deal to me. However, we were too focused out the window into the ever increasing nothingness. The train graveyard was long gone. The mountains began to shrink. The music blared. My stomach was still fragile yet keeping it together.
We arrived to the "entrance" of the Salt Flats. A place where they
try to sell you salt in more varieties of ways than you could ever imagine salt. We supposed to go and see how they "make" it, but this seemed silly so we played around outside, literally shoveling salt and taking photos of our stupidness. I'll give you the run down though in case that peaks your interest. They get the salt, it supposedly sits in a pile for a long time, then they shovel it in and put it above open flames to dry it out, next they scrape it off and into bags.. what do you know.. salt!
sidenote: do yourself a favor and google image uyuni salt flat photos. prepare your eyes for amazement.
Then we went to the "real" entrance. It has a sign and everything. This is one of the highlights I was looking forward to the most!! It also had flags from around the world, no USA flag though. Hmmm. They looked cool all blowing in the wind. Yes, that sounds dumb, but see pic. I stumbled upon "Kat" carved into the salt, so that was fun. (my family nickname) Driving driving and I think pretty soon after we were coming to our
"hotel" for the night. It was a salt hotel, as in made out of salt. Salt walls, salt floor, even salt beds, no lie. There was a mattress, but the actual bed.. salt. We were told most groups split up into girls and guys rooms, but this would mean we'd have to be with Germy and Wormy. If it nots mandatory, not happening. We stuck with Russell and Swissa claiming the only 4 person room. Later on we found out that us sharing meant the other girls had to share with Kitkat bc 2nd direction didn't want to split up.
That night we went to dinner just down the road. I was still only able to stomach rice, which wasn't a problem because the food didn't look all that appetizing! We had to wait around, so... mafia. Bec was less than impressed. Dinner finally, our group most definitely split. In order to use the toilet you had to walk back to the other building. Along that walk was the most gorgeous view of the Milky Way. I actually just stood there for a good bit, simply staring at the stars. It was so dark, just the light glow of
nerd alert
train graveyard lights through the windows and a couple of scattered lights along the path. The stars seemed so close. I made my way to the toilet to see that it was a drop toilet, with a twist. (A drop toilet is one that does not flush) Most are usually just the one hole, but this one had a little section for pee, and one for poo. Not difficult, just interesting.
I slowly made it back beneath the stars to finish the meal. After the miserable death of mafia, we began to load the cars to head home. I did not opt to hire a sleeping bag, so was fearful of freezing to death. I layered up, layer upon layer. We played cards for a bit amongst our group. See, now there is a clear divide. The people under 25 in one group, plus Germy. And the group above 25, plus Bec. Again, Russell didn't have a group because he is seriously just that nice so I think when one group would start bitching about the other, he would leave and go to the other, and vice versa. The not so mute really started to show his Pervy side during this
card playing session. Every little thing about girls, then showed his man crush on the Turk. Another name for the Turk could be the Cutie, bc he was. Perv wanted to be Cutie. He started to copy his phrases and his moves. It was so so very annoyingly hilarious.
Off to bed that night. All of us tucked so far into our covers you could only see our eyes. Quite as a mouse and we overhear the next room... its the Perv talking about sex with animals or the thought of that or something so far out there all we could do was laugh. I woke up the next morning, surprisingly not frozen! yay! I don't remember if we had breakfast, but it didn't matter.. I was still not well. We drove again throughout the beautiful day! Super clear sunny skies.
This is when we stopped for photos. In the salt flats you cannot see anything in the distance. You are basically stranded. It is prime time for optical illusion photos. If you get a second, PLEASE google salt flat photos, some are hilarious!!! We had all sorts of props, from toy cars to dinosaurs to popcorn. I
was not really into moving all over the place with my fragile belly so unfortunately I did not get the most amazing prop photos, but ah... oh well. Some are better than none, right?! The salt was VERY hard. It hurt to lie on, which made it more difficult to get "the picture". It takes a lot of trial and error, which I don't think anyone in our group wanted to deal with! It was fun to get out of the car for a bit. I can only imagine how stupid the drivers think we are, or think everyone who comes here is. The funniest thing was to watch people trying to set up a photo. Its hard to explain I guess.. which is all the more reason for you to go there!!!
A little further along you could see this clump of green land amidst all the white salt. This was cactus island. Yes, there were actual cacti. Huge cacti, in fact. We went up around this path to the top. You could see what seemed forever in the distance. It was a beautiful blue bird day. We hiked up, were taking a bunch of photos, the Perv
showing his ultimate pervyness taking photos, trying to create the illusion of the cactus being part of his lower half... you get the idea. It's neither pretty, nor hilarious, as he so thought!
We all sort of gathered at the top, I guess to regroup, discuss our plan for the day, etc. This did not happen. I'm not actually sure what happened, or how it started. It doesn't have to be said, but tension was building amongst everyone. Our whole car was irritated with Germy, not for no good reason, but really, for no good reason other than she is so franking irritating. Words were mumbled.. Germy says "some of us just need time away from each other"... I about lost my mind. She was directing it towards Bec. Bec! Innocent, silent, smile wearing Bec! Said she was demanding. Bec! Bec, demanding?! I was in such shock. Germy had officially gone off the radar. Bec walked away. She went and stood looking off into the never ending distance. I actually have a really great photo of her from this very point, but I didn't dare go near. She needed a moment. Bec is one of those silent, but deadly
types. You gotta watch out for them! 😉 It was the top awkward moment of the trip and it made Germy that much more nauseating.
Of course, Bec kept her cool. Let it roll off her shoulder. Talk about taking one for the team. Way to go Bec, what a sport! haha, bless her. We couldn't even talk once back in the car because we were all so confused. It was really hilarious actually. Looking back on it now, it is even more hysterical than before. Germy standing there, being mean to Bec. Oh, that biotch.
A bit of driving with a random stop, then to lunch with an even more random spa pool. It was really really cold outside, which makes the "natural" hot tub sound nice, but the reality of getting out of it is the sole reason I did not get in. Lunch was horrible. I ate rice again. In the lake nearby there was one lone flamingo! I have never seen a flamingo, a real, real one I mean. The zoo absolutely does not count. When I told Kitkat how exciting this flamingo was in my life, he told me that was nothing. That
we would be seeing hundreds the next day! wah-huh-ut!!! The joy.
I was starting to feel more normal with my belly. I was actually hungry. We went to where the "hundreds of flamingos" live, but only saw abt 15.. which flew off as soon as some ding ding slammed the car door. We searched a bit more, but no luck. We were told we would be getting in really early and that most groups get some wine to pass the time. We got there, realized we didn't have cups, so.. as you do.. we each bought a bottle of wine. As we were halfway through the bottles, KitKat informed us that we were to be ready in the morning at 5. HA. Dinner was soon served and I stared at my plate. I was finally, after days of rice, ready to eat a meal. I stared. I didn't understand what I saw.
In the bowl.. noodles, llama meat, red sauce, an egg, onion, diced up hot dog, bell pepper, and I know there's more, I wrote it down somewhere but can't find it... but, what?! What is that? Everything left in the pantry?? Stuff you found on the
street? It was hardly stomach able, by sight alone. I was finally wanting to eat, but no. Every single one in "our" group finished their wine like a champ. We stayed up hanging out, playing cards, enjoying the company. It was nice. I miss that.
At another point on this journey we were to tip our drivers. They did drive us for 3 days, and we liked ours, bonus! Of course though, people have to ruin everything. 2nd direction and Germy Wormy car didn't want to tip their driver as much as "suggested", which in turn, took our money from our driver. We had to pool the collection, and "present" it to them. Our car was less than pleased with their car, shocking.
Breakfast came too early the next day,Lunch was at a random stopping point, in what seemed to be a town. It was about the size of my neighborhood. Lunch was gross. I ate rice. The "restaurant", that we brought our own food to, was made out of salt. This is where I realized that we had been carrying our gas on top of the truck the whole time. Duh, there weren't any gas stations. They
art palette
I bought some artwork, yay! This was his palette. siphoned it up with a big breath in, then into the tanks. Our driver was the littlest thing, with his "embellished" jeans. lol.
Soon we came to an area with a lot of people out of their vehicles. We approached slowly to see two of the SUVs pretty smashed up. All along we hadn't really been worried about our seat belts because there was literally nothing to crash into. Yes, we could have flipped possibly or had a flat tire, but otherwise there was no real "danger" to this situation. I would go as far to say there was less than one percent probability of us having a wreck. Well, not for these people. Supposedly there was a big trail of dust behind one car, as with every car driving around here. But they stopped to wait for the other car to catch up, and boom. The car could not see through the dust and rammed into the back of them.
People had been rushed to the hospital. I still don't really know what that entails, bc I can't imagine a hospital anywhere remotely close to the area, but ok. It was a group of Germans doing a
trip across, just like us, except from the opposite direction. Girls were crying and upset. Their friend had been taken away. They told us their drivers got wasted the night before and had stolen one of their phones. It was all very bizarre. The trip from hell, by the sound of it. There really wasn't anything we could do. So we tucked our tails and crept out of the way, with our seat belts fully fastened.
We stopped for a bite to eat. Then went to this place where they kept mummies. Keep in mind Bec and I were already frightened from our mummy girl experience in Peru. This was nothing short of weird. It was like when you go to the zoo and you see the groundhog exhibit and there are all these little cubbies and bubbles to look through. However, these cubbies weren't filled with teeny groundhogs or moles, they were full of skeletons. Bones just hanging out, arranged neatly, in tiny little dugout type things. No one ever really understood what was going on.. its not as if they were preserved mummies, just bones put in these open dirt capsules. Kitkats explanation only stated the obvious,
"they're weird mummies, what else do you want". We did stand there and watch a dust tornado for a bit, that was "thrilling". 😉
Somewhere in there after a bit more driving, we stopped at these weird rock formations. It's as if they simply shot themselves up out of the earth. Green bunnies live there. Honest, I saw one. We climbed around, photos of course, back to 4x4s. Also went to a bunch of geysers, which English people call "gee-zers". They were all different colors, reeked of sulfur and were overall pretty cool. I did sort of feel like I'd die a slow boiling death though if I made a misstep in any direction. Steam was billowing up from the Earth creating beautiful shaded patterns. See photos.
That's it for now... I think this was my longest one yet.. and to think.. we haven't even made it to Argentina yet. You poor dear readers.. I love you. muah!
"And then I realized adventures are the best way to learn" - google travel quotes haha
peace out,
MK
-if we are friends on FB, you should look
up the video of us running out of the Pringles can in the salt flats. It makes me laugh.
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