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Published: August 19th 2007
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We´re advised to go to the Doctor in St Vincente, 20km from Canoa. He knows his shit. We get a taxi to bring us there.
The surgery seems like the usual doctors surgery, the nurse is wearing white, theres a few very sick old people around!
We get through the formalities in Spanish. Go into the Examination roon. The Doc doesnt speak English. My spanish is really not at the level to decribe exact symptons, but with a few hand gestures and a few sore this n that, we muddle are way through it. Actually as does most, i do a lot of nodding!
Describing, being sick, toilet stuff and amount of time etc. Really doesnt take a brain surgeon to work out we have food/water/ass poisioning!
He does a few checks, prods a few places and ......
the diagnosis is .......... food poisioning. Hes good!
The treatment is, firstly he will put us on a drip! Secondly he gives us a shot of Antibiotics in the drip, then he gives us another IV and tells us to change that in 6 hours. Ok fair enough... then it gets a bit confusing, he gives us 2
romanic sunset
drips wont stop us more syringes and needles asks us to watch what the nurse is doing (shes injecting ash) and then tells us to do the same at Midnight! WHAT?
After a lot of WHAT, can you repeat, he calls us a taxi, gives us some oral AB pills and ships us out the door, IVs in one hand, needle in the other arm! That´ll be $75 for both.
Back to the hostel! We´re probably not in the best of form at this point! We go to bed, after Franz the hostel owner, kindly gives use 2 sticks with a nail in them, to hang our IV bags on! Curtosy of the last person(s) who also went to the same doctor!
5.5 hrs later, its change drip time. I go downstairs to get mine and in the mean time, blood starts coming back into the drip and of course, congiels and clogs the needle!
No more drip for me!
Its after 5, Doctor Drip is closed, I go off to find a local doctor to sort this out. Needle in one arm, drip in hand, bloody IV quite visable! Another mad gringo, going round this small town, scaring
the shit out of the locals asking for a Doctor!
I make it to the Doc, he shuts at 4.30! Then these dudes working on a roof, see my plight and starting shouting directions to the local nurse. I finally make it to her house, knock on the door, doesnt take much explanation....... although I am a little worried as I really have no idea who or what this lady is, and why Im surrounded by her whole family, granny n dog included! Didnt spot any roosters or skulls which was reassuring!
She disappears and arrives back with a bottle of something! Christ she isnt gonna clean this needle with tap water! It smells of Alcohol, either shes a piss head or she might know what shes doing! She takes the needle out, writes something on a piece of paper, and sends me to the Pharmacy. I arrive back with a new needle, and drip tube!
Im back in the kitchen chatting to the hubby about football, the granny is on the otherside and the Nurse/witch doctor is shoving the needle in the other arm, as my other is kinda a bit swollen! The only thing missing
is a cup of tea, a scone and a few chicken feet.
She then gives what appears to be a swift telling off, tells me to keep the IV high above my head, and sends me on my merry way, holding a new 1 litre of IV solution high over my head back through town back to the hostel! I casually saunder, IV high over my head, through the back streets, past a footy game, nobody appears to noticed!
We decide, to attend happy hour, and become the butt of all jokes for the rest of the night. Many people offer to do the injection, after 5 or 6 2 for 1 cocktails. Nan your OK, i think Ill risk it myself! The crew, hammer a few nails in the rafters to hang our drips, we settle in for the night and wait for the forthcoming, injection bonaza!
Not a nice experience attempting to prepare a needle and syringe, get fluid into it, fill up a Phyll (is that the word) of AB´s, suck it back into the syringe .. ALL while having a drip in the other arm! Ash does me first, with horror, I watch
an air bubble from the drip valve, pass into the tube and seeminly inject into me! My bloody pressure is sky high, which is quit obvious when Ash takes the drip needle out, and blood starts pissing everywhere!
I do the same for Ash. We manage to get it right second time round, no air bubble.
Well thats it, I wait to die! Ash is snoring, God bless her!
I wake up the next day, happy and content Im alive (Im told air bubbles are not the best for the old ticker), and Im not connected to a bloody IV! Within 2 days movements are back on form! Funny, after a long bout of gastric issues, one is quite at ease chatting to complete strangers about the consistency, colour and creed of your and their movements. I appear from the toilet, arms held high, proclaiming ´its a boy´. I promptly have a beer.
I subsequently find out, that theres no real need to go to doctors here as Antibiotics, Valium, even bloody Codine, are available over the counter! I now carry a small Pharmacy in my backpack for all intestinal eventualities!
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James
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HA HA very funny Luke!