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Published: November 20th 2006
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The arroyos sign
You might get swept into the Caribbean Sea on this street, so beware. And apparently aliens are shooting at your car, or perhaps it's meteorites. “Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.” ~Kurt Vonnegut. I have officially declared 11:41 the trickiest time of all time due to its visual proximity to 11:11. Making people make wishes for no good reason. It ought to be ashamed of itself. I have a crazy swollen finger from some ferocious insect attack While I Was Sleeping. Kind of like the movie except no Sandra Bullock and the bug didn’t start hooking up with my brother while I was in a coma. Oh, and I never went in a coma.
You know how in the states, we have spiders, and although they are creepy and sometimes people tightroll their jeans everynight before bed so brown recluses don’t bite their boys* we tend not to kill them because they eat bugs? Well here, there are these cute little lizards that live in everyone’s houses, eating both spiders and bugs. The only problem is they make a weird clicking noise, kind of like hearing someone hammering really far away. Steph does a really hilarious imitation of it. Anyways, I’ll bring a suitcase back for folks who would like to be liberated to kill spiders
Gary Glitter
How we didn't suspect this guy of being child molester I don't know. at will. I find it mildly disturbing that the man who created the song that I associate with Chiefs’ football is a convicted pedophile (Rock and Roll 2 by Gary Glitter**).
It’s my birthday soon, and while I seem to many to be lacking in maturity for a man my age, I’ll refer to the great humanist*** of our times, KV, “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” Speaking of things in need of a remedy, how hard is it being a sports fan from Kansas City? At least until our Super Bowl victory this year. Who loses to Oral Roberts in Allen FieldHouse? I haven’t been this devestated since Rosanna Burt beat me in the 2nd grade spelling bee on 'bicicle' (as I still care to spell it). That wasn’t what you’d call an upset though. I don’t know if you prefer an oxygen atom or the two (substituted) alkyl groups it’s connected to, but I’m not too into ether. That was chemistry humor, if that’s not an oxymoron.**** Don't act like Kenny Rogers isn't the best thing since Jean Shorts (recently awarded capital letters). I think
modesty is my defining characteristic. I just ate raw oysters that I bought from a street vendor, so this may be my last will and testament. If that’s the case, all of my worldly possessions should be stolen by the employees of this building, except my mint collection of gold stamp replicas, which I bequeath to Al.
Great Book: Atonement, Ian McEwan
Great Song: Mexico by Jump Little Children.
Great Spanish word: bluejeanear, the verb that means 8th grade make out.
Great Movie A Thin Red Line
Great Wall:China
decended from a long line of determined, resourceful microscopic tadpoles - champions everyone,
~T. Biggums
“Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.” ~J. Handy
* They also sometimes sing a made up song/prayer/mantra,
“Hey diddle diddle,
I’ll sleep in the middle,
So my boys don’t get bit by the spider with a fiddle.”
**In 1999, he was convicted of child pornography charges in the UK, and was afterwards listed as a sex offender. He afterwards relocated to Vũng Tàu in Vietnam, and in March 2005 applied for permanent resident status. Later that year,
Fish Kid
This kid kept licking the fish. It was hilarious. I forget the name of this beach, somewhere in Tayrona. he was arrested by Vietnamese authorities, and was convicted of child sexual abuse charges in 2005-06. As of 2006, he is in prison in Vietnam.
*** “Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.” ~Vonnegut
****Oxymoron is a Greek term derived from oxy ("sharp") and moros ("dull"). The meaning is "that which is sharp and dull," thereby designating and also exhibiting an opposition between two adjectives which serve as predicates for one subject. Examples include: So fair and foul a day I have not seen!" (William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act I, Scene I)
or “efficient Colombian bank.” Adolph Coors III was allergic to beer.
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willie
non-member comment
if hotdogs are wrong, then i dont want to be right.