From Blue Footed Boobies to Plastic Ones

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Again, a bit of a lapse in time between entries. Once again due partly to the fact that the bloody parasites came back with a vengenace and wiped me out for a few days and also cos we have been running around up and through Colombia seeing as much as we can in just 2 weeks.

I have absolutely loved Colombia! It is so fantastic. Actually I think Bogota and Medellin are Plastic Fantastic! Colombia is not only famous for itś drug cartels, guerillas and coffee. Itś the plastic surgery capital of South America and Stacey and I were quite amazed at the girls in the cities with the big plastic titties. And plastic bums! Almost every chica has implants in her breasts or butts and a hot little Colombian dude hanging off her arm. And man can they dance! I love going out in South America and watching the local chicos and chicas dancing up a salsa storm wherever they are, the girls in their appalling skimpy outfits.

So, a rundown on Colombia. We ended up splurging on flights because (unsurprisingly) Aerogal (that wonderful Galapagos airline we travelled with and almost didn't make it with) stuffed up our flights again so we managed to scam a big discount on a flight to Bogota, Colombiaś capital. We spent a few days there in the old part of town with colourful houses and buildings. Went up the Teleferica (cablecar) for a birdseye view of the city and also visited Simon Bolivarś holiday house (he is the guy who liberated most of South America from the Spaniards, a pretty important and worshipped fellow here - every South American country we have been too has plazas, roads, currency, cities etc named after him).

From here we headed to Medellin, a party city where we ran into our friend George (from the Galapagos cruise boat). He convinced us to go out to "Mangos - the most famous bar in Medellin" as he told me. When he mentioned dancing midgets I refused to go but somehow I was dragged there and then drawn in by the cheesy wild west theme of the place. The vanity basins in the girls' toilets were real horses heads! The stages were full of scantilly clad dancing girls and hot guys (the non midget variety). I ordered a vodka but the barely clothed waitress told me I had to buy a bottle (at the equivalent of $80AUS). I had a beer instead. Then the midgets came out and it all felt a bit strange but we watched eagerly (and I might have made George take a photo or two). We only had 2 beers each and bailed cos, well, Stacey and I are the "abuelas" (grandmothers) after all and it was past 2am and we had a bus to catch at 8am!

We headed up to Cartagena where all the Colombians holiday. Like miami or Surfers Paradise I guess. Touristy, cheesy, expensive. Although the old town, surrounded by "Las Murallas" (The Walls) that were built to keep the priates out was gorgeous. Pastel coloured buildings, old street lanterns, the smell of delicious Colombian coffee being sold by mobile street vendors for about $0.20c a cup, pretty plazas and a great icecream shop. We did a city tour on a "chiva", old decorated open air bus and some other great side trips. Best of all was a trip to a volcano where we bathed in itś mud filled centre. Mudbathing might be my new favourite thing! So surreal. It had the consistency of cement so that you "floated" in it although I kept dreaming it was choclate custard and we had a "massage" whilst we were floating there completely covered from head to toe with mud.

We also went on a day trip to "Playa Blanca" (White Beach) where we took our first swim in the Carribean Sea, ate fresh lobster straight from the fishermanś wharf and I had a beach massage for the bargain price of $7AUS. Unfortunately that night the parasites came back with a vengenace and we had a 6 hour bus ride to the coast the next day. Not pleasant. I spent most of the time laying next to or in the toilet but we, and my poor intestines, made it to Taganga.

The only part of the beach I saw for the next 3 days was when I would walk to the pharmacy or the shop for water. I ended up calling the doctor and a little while later two huge Colombian dudes came into my room with an old ratty toolbox with a red cross on it. The doctor and his assistant had arrrived. A bit of Spanglish was spoken between us and the doc said he'd give me some medication. I saw the assistant preparing an injection and I said "what the hell is that for" the doc replied "the pain", I said "yeah well thatś gonna give me more pain than I've already got". Then I started asking if the needle was sterile, clean, new, could he show me the packet etc and he just laughed and said "Weŕe not in Africa". I said "no, weŕe in bloody Colombia and youŕe going to stick that in me!". I smiled at the assistant and offered my slightly shaking arm. He smiled back, laughed actually, shaking his head and pointing at his butt. That was it - I shrieked "No way! You have got to be kidding! Are you telling me I have to bare my bum in front of you guys and take a needle". Of course they just laughed louder and louder as I pulled down my bathers and turned my burning face into the pillow and didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Stacey was killing herself laughing so what else could I do but revel in being the "butt" of their jokes.

Taganga is a chilled out beach town. Dirty beach full of tourists but still a groovy little place to hang out. I eventually got better and we went scuba diving in the Carribean. Saw some cool corals, reefs, sea life - a huge octopus squeezing himself into a tiny piece of coral, shrimp, lobster, horned fish and heaps more.

We ventured up to Parque Tayrona, a National Park for a few days. Got the local bus then hiked for 1.5 hours to a gorgeous beach where we hired a tent for a couple of nights and chilled out on the beach which we sometimes had almost all too ourselves. We did a tough hike up to some old ruins that took us 2 hours one way climbing over rocks and boulders, through caves, crossing rivers, startling big hairy spiders and watching a bunch of cute howler monkeys swinging through the trees which was really cool.

We headed back to Taganga cos we heard the dive guys were doing a wreck dive and as neither of us had done one before we were pretty keen. So we did out first shipwreck dive. It was an old cargo boat that got stranded off the coast 3 years ago. The cargo? A full load of marijuana (which funnily enough noone claimed when the authorities were asking just before the boat eventually sank, fully loaded as it were).

The dive was deep (26 metres or so), dark and a little scary...we swam through some of the old windows and doors and it was spooky but thrilling. Another tick on the "I have never" list. The second dive was under a lighthouse which was also cool with the biggest sea sponges I have ever seen, they were like massive columns lined up in a row, hollow and half my height.

Unfortunately we had to leave Colombia, neither of us wanted to but Venezuela was calling. So we went out with a bang on our last night, running into George again and our new dive buddies. It was only the third big night on our 3 month trip so far and the two abuelas crawled up from the beach into our beds at 5am only to have to get up at 8am to endure the 40 hour bus journey to our Venezuelan destination... and that's another story in itself.

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Photos

Colombian Craziness, Taganga
Greg & Alejandra, Stace, Me & Marty (our crazy dive master)