Another Rio Degenerate

---

Ahh...at last, another iconic moment in the trip...(and another misuse of íconic´)..but still a significant milestone in the journey...to get to the most famous and exotic of Brasil´s places..Rio de Janeiro...and just for starters..its not a bloody river at all..the turkey who first landed..way, way back, thought it was and so named it..the next bozo that came along didn´t have the nouse or the courtesy to re-name it...like Porto de Janeiro, no, he wants the first bugger to have wear the ignomy for all time...anyway...
Into the most beautiful city in the world, they say.....across the longest bridge in the world maybe..thinking I was back in the Florida keys...on and on, in the distance, the beautiful layout, the buildings, the mountains, the rock features, the fabulous beaches, the city skyline, the cable cars, and the Big J on the hill...all of it totally obscured by the pissing down rain.....we got split up but then found ourselves and each other again on the one-and-only Copercabana beach...still pissing down we huddled under a restaurant´s unbrellas and had a cafe......I just noticed the typo...unbrella...haha probably quite apt as we were still getting wet!...
So, we went off to Ipanema just around the corner, after negotiating the streets, tunnels, and varioous quirks of Rio streets...actually pretty good signage and drivers always keen to give advice..like ´f*ck off you idiot!!´...no, really they´ve been good, and helpful...so we got a hotel..exy and no parking but we´ve got the bikes tied up outside the front door...sorta safe in a sense..but the stories of around here...crikey, you feel you need an armed escort to cross the road...and we´ve found it pretty safe actaully...sofa so good!...
So its been relatively fine since then..yesterday it cleared up and today is glorious, in fact I´m about to head off up the hill to see the Big J and the view...and theres talk of a chopper ride for 30 mins to see it ALL..maybe!...
The big Jesus is supposed to dominate everything in Rio, you know its always featured, and you can see it from everywhere, and its so cool at night, and yadda yadda...well, 3 days in and I saw it for the first time this morning..and its pretty small from here!..its way up on the hill....miles away...and theres either cloud over it or buildings blocking it!..they must be tripping...
In our hotel (we´re on the 6th floor of 7) is the most strange and violent lift I´ve ever been in!...theres a sort of warning ..in micro-print, saying ´before you get in make sure the lift is in the floor' the door opens outwards so you do have to check!..then, inside, once the outer door shuts, a big steel arm slides across the brass concertina framework like those old lifts in the movies had...and I suspect its really steel, just painted brass!....then the lift either drops or rockets depending on which way you´re going, and then stops so suddenly your knees buckle..then the big arm slaps the concertina back into the dark recess and you are free, when you´ve recovered from the shock, to push the outer door open...always a bit trepidatiously tho´as you are always a bit wary that the big arm is going to slap the screen across and amputate an arm or something...fantastic!
I had a codpiece for lunch yesterday!!...... just thought I´d share that with you..at least that´s how it looked on the menu...a relic of some bizarre last century hangover whereby cod was imported, got into the local diet and stayed...now its still imported from Europe and used as a fundamental in some local recipes...soemthing like that!....but a fabulous dish..grated potato rolled up cod and cheese and baked..crispy outside..yum..
Last evening we went up the other great attraction, Sugar Loaf..and I´m puzzled..how come ´Sugar Loaf´?..I´ve never seen sugar, in any of its myriad forms, look anything like a great rounded block sticking up!!..is it just me?..have I missed something?..anyway, the cab, the first cablecar, the second cable car, the incredible burst of sunsetlight thru the clouds and the mountains..the usual pandemonium of trying to see everything thru a lens...and capture it..ha...but Ted will have some great shots from it, thats what he´s here for...its an enormous panorama, the lights gradually coming on...the whole scene is so different from anywhere else, so fantastic geographically..its like a blanket, lifted by a dozen or so hooks, being drawn up from the water...the peaks are so steep they are uninhabitable, all around the edges are little bays and beaches, even off-shore there are more peaks, just not lifted high enough, behind the beaches and the high-rises and the streets of boutiques, are the favellas, the slums, spreading upwards, ironically, the poorest people, in the favellas, have the best views of the lot, but I suspect they have little time, or interest in such esoterics!...and up there is really no-go land..v dangerous...ah and Sao Paulo to come..even more dangerous, dirty and destitute..and no compaensating beauty...but thats for later......and altho' its one city, its actually several clusters of buildings divided by huge, jungled ridges, great spare stone slab faces, joined by freeways and enormous tunnels thru' the rock.....and a multitude of big and small beaches...
...so we are up on Sugar Loaf, a pointed spire of rock from where you can see most of the city...then the bar closes..huh...its only 7.30pm...whaa...and I'm getting a bit peck, almost graze o'clock......the cable car keeps coming and going, more people leaving now...it makes a hiss every time it leaves and I keep thinking its something going in the deep fryer..and start going Pavlov......and the eagles soar around..I was watching one that suddenly lost its rhythm and starting flapping like a turkey..don´t know what did it...maybe a momentary lapse in concentration?...sudden existential question flashing thru' its tiny feathered brainbag?...quite weird tho'...I could relate to it tho'...suddenly realising you're heavier than air and a 2000 foot drop below...and v undignified!
I went down to Ipanema beach (to look for the girl?) yesterday morning......exercise freaks everywhere, I was exhausted by the time I fought my way thru' the fithrongs of early risers....had a swim... but its a powerful, dumping wave and not a lot of fun...many people getting into trouble..but out along the beach, and it is an impressive beach...wide as, and pretty clean.....up on the roadside there's outdoor gymy sort of place...some really overworkouted, over oiled, over drugged?, muscle-boys working out...I mean I can see the beauty in people being fit but these Arnie types...who likes that look?...all the other muscle boys obviously!...and theres a running/walking/bicycling track along the beachside of the road....the universal tortured, twisted visages of the truly terminal joggers!...where are they going that's soo difficult, so necessary to get there dong it so hard...early death maybe?...or the relief, like after bashing the brickwall with the head relief, maybe thats why many people prefer drugs...the pleasure first, pain later!
And tatts everywhere...I'm sometimes quite proud to be the only person in the world without a tattoo...and some of them are pretty ordinary, many just overdone...lots of obsxure asian caligraphy...asking sometimes I'm told it means 'smile' or 'peace', why not write the bloody word so people can understand it?...I wonder if, in Japan, they aren't tattooing smiley faces on their biceps....
Another walker (slow) on the beach, down by the water...she asks me if I'm "alonely"...where do you start to explain the difference?...and how two words so similar can be so absolutely different...but got me thinking (again) if I'm alone or lonely...one of the eternal puzzles, linked to my thoughts on bliss I feel and all waiting for a longer spell of proper thinking and writing...to resolve...

2 days later...
Some reflections on Big Jesus...I took a cab to the train and paid the man...waited (like a desperado?) and finally the train came.. ... almost a monolith rail, 2 tracks and a very solid looking track up the centre that the trains giant cog climbs up and down...there are 3 seats on one side facing forward or up, 2 on the other facing back!! ..I was stuck at the back of the crowd..by the time I got on it was al;most full...luckily (?) two largish women were in the second row so I squeezed one cheek onto the last half seat...great view (forwards!)...near the top it stopped and a small, second-rate samba band got on to rev up the crowd...huh....this is supposed to be a religious experience..no?...get off the train and take the soft option of lift, escalator, 2nd escalator to the top.....(much later the breathless but no doubt self congratulatory stair walkers got to the top)....arrive at the feet of the Big J...oh well, a bit more impressive right here at his feet...in fact pretty speccy view and awsome great statue towering above.....I am genuinely, if momentarily, impressed and have a beer to help contemplate the view and wonder just how long I should stay to justify the expense of getting here....watching the watchers...trying to get it all into their tiny viewfinders...a couple of choppers swing past..I raise the beer can in salute...maybe its Ted...after 10 minutes or so, may have been longer, you know, lack of oxygen and all that.....and somewhat underwhelmed, I get the train back down...few people and no samba band!...down thru the jungle...see a few diehard walkers gasping their way up by foot...sort of the Puffing Billy of Rio....some misty clouds gathering on the peaks...omg..if I'm starting to wax lyrical it must be getting boring...enough...

Another day or so...
Dribbled down the coast a bit further and slid thru a rent in the fabric of the space/time/dollar matrix, in other words we passed thru a Finance Warp....missing the turn off, turning back, finding the unsigned, secret road to the secret location...someone, many years ago, bought a great slab of jungle, right down to the sea...and carved out a little paradise condominium..more of a suburb, beautiful houses, lots of open spaces, choice of 2 beaches and a marina chockers with squillion dollar boats, choppers, bar/restaurant, sports things, gym, sauna?..even a bloody golf course...I'm getting all gooey...haven't had a whack for soo long...I'm twitching....and theres millions of acres of taiored lawn everywhere...like open community space...and hundreds of support workers...gardeners, builders, waiters, cleaners, housekeepers, caretakers...and a million uniformed security people...on foot, bikes, motorbikes and cars, everywhere they are watching, waiting, unsure of how these three scruffs on their bikes got in here!...a friend of Grant's has a house here and has invited us to stay...he is in Sao Paulo at work so we won't get to catch up til next week...he rang ahead and got us security clearance...the first guard post eventually let us in, the second, where you fill out forms with details and sign in.....but all friendly in a vaguely menacing way..we are there with a local's blessing but they're still not really sure about us......and this house...ahhh...this house is so well done, like most of the places here..an architects dream environment.....rare rainforest timbers, stones and luxuriant gardens...and hundreds of garden maintainers...everything clipped and trimmed within a centimetre of its life...exotic and erotic plants, orchids, ferns, palms, birdlife...dangerous Curlews, I think, lay their eggs out in the open then hang around and attack anything or anyone who comes past...a tiny hummingbird, flitting around the hanging orchids under the patio...and all around this little piece of Eden.... these giant, impenetrable, dangerous looking jungle-covered mountains.....no-one is going to stumble into this place by accident!!....and, strangest of all... its all deserted!....except for the army of support staff there are no people here!...I'm thinking that if you can afford to live here you have to work 24/7 to maintain the cost of upkeep!...hey, but we'll take advantage of this fabulous hospitality...such a change from the accom we are used to......but tomorrow its off again...somewhere closer to Sao Paulo...but on the coast still....oy...I've run out......s'long

---