Sex and the Spanish lessons


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South America » Argentina
August 5th 2010
Published: July 2nd 2017
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Geo: -34.5886, -58.4299

Sex entered the classroom when Benny Hill's name was first mentioned by a teacher a few days ago. For some reason, since then, it won't leave.

The teachers at the Spanish language school in Buenos Aires are fantastic. I love them all for different reasons.

One woman (imagine an even more sexy Hazel the McWitch from Rentaghost) speaks Spanish very fast in the classes, and, very occasionally, I find myself zoning out. She also has a thing for telling us when words in Spanish have a double meaning and one of the meanings is filthy.

So, from time to time, I´ll be sitting there in my class, with my mind wandering onto different ways to get out of dinner with the family that I am staying with, and I will suddenly hear the following: "…blah in español, blah in español, blah in español, blah in español, blah in español, blah in español. YOU FUCK YOUR FUCKING MOTHER! Yeah!! Yeah!! Hahahahahahahaha! FUCK YOUR FUCKING MOTHER, FUCKMOTHER! Yeah!! Yeah!! blah in español, blah in español, blah in español…" I love it when this happens. I don't understand it, but I love it.

A very different kind of sex entered the classroom this morning when we had a substitute teacher (I think our usual teacher needed a break from us). The substitute was a man with the sexiest voice I have heard in a long time, and a very cute little face. And, sexiest of all, he clearly felt self-conscious meeting us, which I liked, because I was feeling it too. So, straightaway, we were married, with our general social awkwardness (and our more specific distaste for the other student in the class) acting as the glue that enabled the two of us to ride over the language barrier together and off into the night.

Things started well when he asked me what my name was. "Levi…como los jeans, ¿no?" I said, "¿La marca de los bluejeans? Levi Strauss, ¿la conoces?" He still didn´t understand what I was saying, so I pointed to the big red “Levi Strauss” on his t-shirt. “¡Como ese!” I said, followed by my big-brown-eyed Spanish for, “You wear this for me today, ¿sí?” (a question which sounded much more sexual when I said it than it did in my head beforehand). I liked his blushes very much.

He then decided to teach us reflexive verbs, a mistake on his part. I can't remember any of the blooming verbs in Spanish because it was more than I could stand, listening to him saying, “These verbs, en Inglés, Levi, bien...I get out of bed, I take off my clothes, I shower myself, I wash my body, I shave…”.

At one point, I asked a question about something or other, and his response was, “Sí, it is like when I say 'I love you always', Levi, 'I love you always'…¿entendés?” Oh, Juan Pablo, I definitely entiendo.

The only disappoint today was that the verb “sentirse” turned out not to mean “to feel oneself”, as I thought it did. Apparently, it just means “to feel”. Still, who doesn´t like a good old-fashioned, plain and simple 'feel' from time to time?

If anyone knows the Spanish for, “Excuse me from the class for a moment, I need to go and wipe myself dry with some toilet roll," do let me know. I think the sentence involves at least one reflexive verb, possibly two. Just don't ask me what they are in Spanish.


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5th August 2010

pmsl ........ love this one ,.....keep up the good work . 3 house points , and for homework xx

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