Carnival

---

Imagine a catwalk half a mile long, where thousands of people are packed into stands on either side; a catwalk showcasing not only beautiful women, but also forty foot goblins clutching goblets of wine and the four horsemen of the apocalypse in this season's hottest style. A last minute decision brings us to Gualeguaychu and Argentina's biggest carnival. Sitting in the stands beforehand, I experience that peculiar giddy excitement that turns alcohol from a requirement into an excess. From the distant cheers its apparent that the party has begun at the other end, and its too much for my heightened nerves: before I can stop myself I've unloaded an entire can of silly string into the back of the girl in front. Such lack of self control has lost me many friends I fear. Neither of the previous two statements, I would like to add, contain the smallest trace of sexual allegory.
After a time a green haze appears on the horizon, so large that it looks as though a small island is rumbling towards us. Everyone's craning their neck to see until down the catwalk comes a naked woman, her giant white feathers streaming out behind her. She's the same as any standard-bearer that appears before an army, beautiful and terrible, and its a mesmerizing trick - the crowd is so busy following her dance that suddenly we look up and the first float is upon us. Preceded by three demons riding white globes the size of trucks, that green haze has revealed itself as an enormous genie blowing into his lamp. This huge structure passes by at a glacial crawl, and I'm reminded of old film footage depicting ocean liners being paraded in the streets before their maiden voyage. And yet at the end of the catwalk its not the ocean that awaits but the scrapyard, and this party is all the wilder because everyone knows it'll end in destruction. There's no point apart from having a good fucking time, which is perhaps the only point we ever want.
The genie rumbles on followed by a sea of feathers, colour and flesh, and this is the pattern of the night: pink praying buddhas give way to Egyptian temples, gothic prisons are replaced by a 25 piece band riding a cumulus cloud. At one moment we leap over the barrier to join in; all the while I'm waiting for the music, movement and madness to cease, and for the megaphone voice to announce to the world at large that 'a boy that uses factor 20 and who was once so embarrassed about his Toy Story pencil case that he sat on it at his first day at a new school, who for a year had a shaved head and a dyed blonde fringe, the dye being so cheap that the fringe went ginger (my list is endless) IS TRYING TO INVADE OUR CARNIVAL!!!' But it doesn't happen. We just inhale the heat and sweat of the catwalk for a few seconds before leaping back over, full of the triumph we feel when having broken into a forbidden place as children.
We stumble home past a real prison undergoing its own unseen carnival - an eerie recorded voice wailing the same repetitive notes until we're out of site. I remember this with as much clarity as the onslaught to my senses that came before.
In Colon we watch two old women splashing each other in the river until they both collapse, giggling, in the shallows. Its hilarious to watch, and I'm certain that if I were to repeat my silly string trick they'd fully approve (again, ZERO sexual metaphor). Later, at sunset, they draw their chairs up to the water's edge and talk seriously whilst sipping mate, but I'm sure that the subject of conversation can only be how best to steal the ice cream from the little boy paddling around in front of them.
On our last morning we watch the sunrise, forced to depart at a critical moment in order to catch a bus. I'm pretty sure a metaphor for modern life can be worked out of that somehow. I am holding a bag of salami sandwiches, and consequently a dog follows us all the way from our home to the terminal. I fear for that dog's fate; those bus wheels are pretty big. If you happen to be in Colon, please enquire as to his whereabouts, and if what I fear has taken place, please deny all knowledge of mine.

---