The Coronation

How to become a Muzungu African Queen Step 1. Buy five packs of Darling brand, Ghanaian style for hot water use hair extensions. Number 30 if you are going for something reddish. Number 27 if you prefer something more golden. Or both if you are feeling a little mixed. Step 2. Have a seat and get comfortable. You are gonna be here a while. Step 3. Separate out a tiny swatch of hair and wrap a long strand of Darling around the base, 2/3 30 and 1/3 27. Step 4. Braid. Step 5. Try not to yelp as tiny clumps of hair are yanked and pulled and tangled and wrapped and yanked some more. Step 6. Repeat steps 4 and 5 over and over and over and over and over and over . . . . . Step 4. Braid the braids into fat, chunky braids. Step 5. Heat the water. Step 6. Soak the chunky braids in a tub of hot water, three or four at a time. Step 7. Towel dry chunky braids. Step 8. Unbraid chunky braids to reveal dozens of kinky little braids. Step 9. Chop off the excess Darling in one fell swoop. Step 10. Sit under a very hot dryer in a very hot climate. For a long time. Fun. Five hours and fifty bucks later, presto, you are a Muzungu African Queen!