Hobbiton


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December 28th 2015
Published: September 30th 2017
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Geo: -37.8096, 175.773

Today's visit to Hobbiton was a massive disappointment - sure, the gorgeous rolling hills and the impossibly-cute Hobbit holes were pretty amazing, turning most of the visitors into a bunch of giggling school kids that were acting as if it was their first time at Disneyland. But no matter how unforgettable our visit to Hobbiton was, no matter how awesome the tour was, we just couldn't forget about one major flaw in our time here today - where the hell were the Hobbits??!?!!

The timing of our stop in Hobbiton was horrible planning, as it turned out that this was when all the Hobbits make their annual pilgrimage up to Rivendell, for Middle Earths biggest, best, and longest rave! Nobody knows how to celebrate New Years Eve like Lord Elrond, who puts on a massive week-long party that runs all day and all night. You might think that elves are only good at archery and fighting, but it's an uncommonly-known fact that they can dance like nobody else in the world!

Decked out in their finest designer tunics, with their perfectly-coiffed locks, with not so much as a single strand of hair out of place, they are the Kings and Queens of the Rivendell rave scene, representing the highest level of perfection, in the most perfect of places, and of the most perfect of races. Elves are the pinnacle of Middle Earths Eurotrash sub culture, raising clubbing to an art form, one that is light years above and beyond any club scene you might find in Berlin or Madrid.

Imagine the most famous super clubs in Ibiza on steroids, combined with the biggest European music festivals, and you'd have some small idea of the Rivendell Rave, as it has come to be known. For it is only in Middle Earth where you can find elves rocking to the bass, and pulling off dance moves that seemingly the defy the laws of physics, and ones that seem to even challenge the known laws of space-time. Perhaps if Stephen Hawking could ever witness these moves for himself, he would be able to finally come up with his theory of everything.

Sadly, we weren't able to make it up to Rivendell to join in on the debauchery, as it's the hottest ticket of the year in Middle Earth, with only the richest and most famous receiving the privilege of this exclusive invite. So, we had to make due with our little visit to Hobbiton, which, while completely devoid of any signs of Hobbit life, was compensated by the hordes of happy tourists, smiling like little kids in the sweetest of candy shops.


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Lucky For Us ...Lucky For Us ...
Lucky For Us ...

... the Hobbits are so hospitable, that they left us some cheese and preserves to snack on!
More Sheep Than People in New Zealand ...More Sheep Than People in New Zealand ...
More Sheep Than People in New Zealand ...

... Not sure if that is really true, but it sure seems like it when driving around the country.
Big Breakfast Before the Trek to Hobbiton ...Big Breakfast Before the Trek to Hobbiton ...
Big Breakfast Before the Trek to Hobbiton ...

... try as we might, we still haven't been able to find any more Golden Kiwi from NZ, or tasty mangoes from Australia, so these excellent pears that were redolent of honey had to do. We also picked up a local type of sweet cream cheese that was studded with nuts - quite good, but it quickly became a bit overpowering.
Chocolate Banana Muffin ...Chocolate Banana Muffin ...
Chocolate Banana Muffin ...

... It looked delicious in the display case, but was more bread-like than muffin. You would think that a Hobbit-themed attraction would have the most amazing of foods, but it was pretty lacking. But the nice thing about NZ is that everywhere turns out some decent espresso drinks, so the cappuccino and flat white more than made up for the mediocre muffin.
More Kebab Than Burger ...More Kebab Than Burger ...
More Kebab Than Burger ...

... I've never seen a burger so stuffed with fillings before - carrots, beets tomato, onion, cabbage, bell peppers, and lettuce. This lamb burger wasn't bad, but did have a bit of a weird sweet taste to it.
Far More Food in Person ...Far More Food in Person ...
Far More Food in Person ...

... it doesn't look like that much here, but dinner was massive at the B&B tonight - a simple avocado and tomato salad, some silver beet pastries that were particularly good (crispy and flaky), rack of lamb (not their own animals, as they told us they couldn't bear to eat something they raised!), assorted garden vegetables (carrot, zucchini, shallots), and sweet potatoes. The lamb was a tad overdone but super juicy, and nice with a strong English mustard that had a bit of a wasabi-like zing to it. Dinner was nothing fancy, but it was great to have a cozy home-cooked meal, for once.
A Treat From the South of France ...A Treat From the South of France ...
A Treat From the South of France ...

... the owners of the B&B gave us some homegrown radishes to try, and Guy told us that the way they would eat them in his home village with some salt and pepper, atop a slice of buttered bread.
French-Style Cheese Course ...French-Style Cheese Course ...
French-Style Cheese Course ...

... as if we needed more food! A little brie, camembert, and something that was similar to an aged cheddar.
As If We Needed Dessert ...As If We Needed Dessert ...
As If We Needed Dessert ...

... but still, we crammed down this lemon cheesecake with passion fruit sauce!
As If We Needed Ferrero Rocher ...As If We Needed Ferrero Rocher ...
As If We Needed Ferrero Rocher ...

... so we gave them to the Buddhas!


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