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Published: March 7th 2012
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(Cough. Cough. Splutter) Where am I? What day is it? Who are you?
(Splutter. Splutter. Cough.) Wednesday !?! Honest ?!?
Crikey – better crack on.
What’s the difference between a wallaby and a kangaroo?
(Here we go, go on then). No really, I’m asking you, we don’t know. They say size - kangaroos can grow up to 1.8m, wallabies can grow up to about 1m - but, for medium sized animals, how do you know whether you’re looking at a small kangaroo, or a large wallaby?!?
(Does it really matter?) (Pause)
Last day in Melbourne and it’s time to pick up the car. Plan is to drive up the coast to Sydney over the next five days. Bit of argy-bargy in the car rental while we upgrade (we’ve got none left - but I rang and explicitly asked) and get Sat Nav installed (we’ve got none left - but I rang and explicitly asked) - which seemed to be instantly resolved when Moi pointed out the slogan on the guy's T-shirt which said "We Try Harder" - and we’re off.
We liked Melbourne. Even though we were only there for
a couple of days, it seemed nice and relaxed. The city centre is quite small and it’s easy to walk from one part to another. Also, it is well known in Australia for its food and wine, and as it happened, there was a food and wine festival going on while we there. I can honestly say their “foot long Steak and Cheese on Italian Herbs and Cheese, all the salad except black olives, plenty of jalapenos with Southwest AND Honey and Mustard sauce” Subway, washed down with a cup of English Breakfast tea, is delightful.
Anyway, we hit the road by lunchtime (“hang a left up by those bladdy trees mate or I’ll have your bladdy nuts no worries” purrs the Sat Nav lady) and we head for our first stop – Phillip Island.
On arrival, we are struck at once at how wild it feels. It reminds us of Scotland, but with nice weather.
(Hoots mon - is he tekkin the puss oot o Scortlund?) The coastline is rugged, the sea is deep blue, there’s rugged moorland and woodland populated with wild wallabies (or is it kangaroos).
(He us - he's tekkin the puss!)
One thing which Phillip Island is famous for is its Penguin Parade. Immediately put off by the name as a shameful tourist attraction that exploits poor penguins, my habitual cynicism is soon put to shame (again) as it is explained this is a natural phenomena and viewing it is part of a local nature conservation exercise. Every night, at dusk, 35,000 penguins come ashore, cross the beach, and make their way to their burrows for the night. For a small fee (well, actually, quite a hefty fee), you can watch this wonderful spectacle from a protected compound. No cameras are allowed as this frightens the penguins, so you’ll just have to take my word for it that it was quite a sight !
We were only on Phillip Island for one night and would have liked to stayed longer but our schedule does not allow for this. Next stop is place called Metung, about 200 miles further up the coast. We’ve just arrived and it looks like a nice boating village right on a harbour, and if it wasn’t for the torrential rain, I’m sure it's lovely.
So, we've checked into the motel, and guess what
I'm doing right now then ? Go on, guess ?
Wow - that's amazing, how did you know ?
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