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Published: February 27th 2008
Interesting day today, 13 hours on a bus, minimal air conditioning, no tv, radio playing Rhianna. Surprisingly good fun though.
Yesterday, I arrived in Melbourne early, pratically fell off the bus, so tired, had my now traditional 3 hour power nap before facing the outside world. Had no clue what to look at in Melbourne so wandered round clutching my guide looking lost. Ended up in jail. The old Melbourne Gaol, final resting place of Ned Kelly amongst many others. Have to confess, I went because Billy Connolly went on his world tour and it was the only thing I'd heard of down here. Weird sort of place to open to tourists. The slightly sick element of reading up on everyone's crimes, then seeing the place they all died. They even made death masks for everyone. Casts of the heads of everyone they hung. It's almost as if they knew it would eventually become a museum and they'd need something to fill it with.
Had extra tour of the not quite so old jail next door, only closed down 14 years ago, plenty of fresh graffita covering the walls. Far worse in the womens end. Not sure how, all
Another Apostle, will eventually be 2
the women I know are so polite and gentile. Our tour guide was an ex warden from that prison and he camped it up beautifully. Gave us cards with new names and crimes, then locked us all up together in a smelly cell. Nice bloke, is visiting Telford and Wolverhampton next week. Poor man. Warned him he may need a few extra layers. A mild 25 degrees here is nowt compared to recently, but won't prepare him for crappy British weather.
Was locked up with really nice Canadian bloke who gave me lots of advice on where to go when I got to Canada, and was happy to gain knowledge on where to visit in England. His wife wasn't quite as charming. One of those people that tinks they know everything, and will argue and turn their nose up at you if you dare to contradict them. Only having lived there 8.5 years, my knowledge of Sheffield is hardly perfect, but it's a hell of a lot better than someone who's never been and lives thousands of miles away. Sheffield has been demoted to 'small town'. You're now on a par with Rotherham, or Dudley. he he
In his natural habitat
manage to squabble with any strangers today, boring. Had tour down the Great Ocean Road. Saw cute ickle Koala's in their natural habitat. Much more awake than those in the zoos, they have food to find. Dosen't just arrive as it does in the zoo.
Saw the lighthouse from "Round The Twist". For the benifit of anyone not in there twenty's or who left the house occasionally in their youth, Round The Twist was a daft Australian kids tv program where, if memory serves me correctly, the family lived in the lighthouse and weird, supernatural things happended every week. Still remember the theme tune. Should really have got out more when I was a kid.
Highlight of the day was the 12 Apostles. Big lumps of rock sticking out the ocean all along the coast. Very impressive. (photos to follow eventually)
Nearly finished in Australia, fly to New Zeland tomorrow evening. Will have to come back again eventually. Take a bit more time and see everything I missed this time. Not just because of rising flood waters. This country is Huge. Have to learn to surf, dive the reef a few more times, kayak round Magnetic Island,
cuddle a Koala, ride the rapids at the cheesey overpriced theme parks in Surfers Paradise, skydive over Sydney, see the real outback, Uluru, have a picnic at hanging rock and walk into a bar with a plastic crocodile under my arm. All while staying in nice hotels, posh ensuite bathrooms with showers and baths. Eat at a different resturant everynight without looking at the menu, seeing the price and running away to find noodles. Even having missed all that, most days I've been away, I've stopped to look up and realised I'm in paradise.
The bar next door is full of drunks singing Don't look back in Anger. When they've all shut up (please god make it soon, seriously out of tune, brain starting to dribble out of ears) and shuffled of to their beds, I can go to bed and get my full 5 hours kip. Arrive in a different version of paradise in 20 hours. Hopefully a bit cooler, and less drunks. (the latter is pretty unlikely, most of this lot will probably follow me out there)
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