It ain't half hot Mum!


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Oceania » Australia » Victoria » Melbourne » Lilydale
November 29th 2009
Published: November 29th 2009
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Welcome to my first blog! I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to get started, but here, to get you caught up, is the first half of a day by day account of my Aussie experience so far:

Wed Nov 18


After a long but actually not too gruelling journey I landed in Melbourne at 6.30am and, a little over cautiously, sought assurance that camel’s milk chocolate purchased in Dubai wouldn’t be an issue at customs. This done, I emerged to find Sarah waiting, which was, well, tremendous, obviously - we’ve no current plans to self impose another three-month separation! I was wide eyed and struggling to take everything in as she drove home, and the first sign of jet lag was my comment on kids ‘walking home from school’ when obviously they were on their way there; most of all I was struck by the quantity, variety and sheer anarchy of eucalyptus TREES: they’re everywhere, each as individual as a snowflake and they seem to compete for artistic merit, taking the scenic route as they meander skywards.
On arrival I was introduced to Neil - that’s right, 21 months into the relationship I met Sarah’s dad! He’s not as scary as Stan said, in fact he’s become a much appreciated guide to the area and respected sage on all things Melburnian. I saw Sarah’s mum Alison, whom I’d met in England, and met younger siblings Holly and Tom. The family have been friendly and welcoming and I feel very much at home. Next Sarah gave me an ESKI (cool box - I’ll do a glossary for this blog!) containing my Australia survival kit: guide books including a compendium of Aussie literature and dictionary of deadly animals, various local food stuffs, a hat with the national flag on, and of course sun cream and insect repellent.
In the afternoon I was allowed to catch up on some much needed SLEEP. This was strictly rationed though: having travelled for 24 hours while gaining another 11 in time difference, I was obviously rather jet lagged; after a two-hour nap I was forced out of bed and told to stay up until nine. At this point I rather wished that the valium a friend gave me to ensure sleep on the plane had been more effective… Apparently the best way to deal with the lag is to force oneself into the local routine, and I actually made it until 10pm so that went ok. I was pretty much past jet lag after a couple of days, with the bonus effect that I find myself generally retiring earlier than usual, whereas back home I always stayed up too late.

Thu Nov 19


Now it was time to start achieving stuff. First we went to the BANK to open a joint account. This is a major rite of passage in anyone’s life, and doing it as a foreigner was even more exciting. Actually it’s basically my account, but having it in both our names from the start might come in handy for future visa application; at least that was my interpretation - when she got her bank card and cheque book Sarah got a twinkle in her eye and muttered something under her breath about shoes… Also their banking system is confusing: there are charges that I’m not used to although I think it’s good sense; the weird bit is being asked: “Credit, cheque or savings?” whenever you make a purchase. I don’t get that at all.
Having deposited most of my cash we took the rest shopping. Thanks again to Eileen, Nana and Nettie for boosting my funds! Your birthday gifts combined to equip me with a rather fetching pair of SHADES - Oakleys don’t you know, all the cool kids are wearing them. That’s the thing you see, I’m not cool, never have been, and I’ve never worn shades, just can’t carry it off; but over here you have no choice (can’t believe I haven’t mentioned the sun yet!) and Sarah found a pair that actually don’t look too ridiculous. I also got a mobile, some trainers and, of course, ‘thongs’. Seriously, I must set up that glossary or rumours will start to fly… Lunch was my first Red Rooster - seriously good chicken and chips!
By the evening I was considered sufficiently acclimatised to venture out to DINNER with the family - now augmented by Holly’s boyfriend Christian, a fellow Pom (these girls have been brought up to know where the best boys come from!) and Tom’s girlfriend Mads. We went to Healesville’s Giant Steps, the restaurant attached to one of the Yarra Valley’s many, many wineries. Oh yes, we live in Lilydale by the way, in The Shire of Yarra Ranges (reminds me of Lord of the Rings) about an hour’s drive east of Melbourne city centre. Dinner was excellent, and I started to realise that this area really makes good use of its agriculture, with top quality local produce on sale in shops and restaurants everywhere.

Fri Nov 20


Great day! We went to the Healesville Sanctuary to see some Australian ANIMALS: (deep breath) emus, wombats, possums, gliders, brolgas, Tasmanian devils, platypuses, bilbies, flying foxes, birds of prey, ibis, kookaburras, cockatoos, snakes, monitor lizards, geckos, a (small) freshwater crocodile, wallabies and, of course, koalas and kangaroos! That just leaves the dingo and echidna to cross off my list. Now Simon, who also has a blog on here, has berated me for doing this the easy way when all these creatures exist in the wild, but mate, we’re city folk here, not bush rangers like you, and our way worked just fine!
Right, about the weather. When I arrived it was 38 degrees. As many of you know, at home I tend to become at best extremely grumpy and at worst entirely non functional when the mercury touches about 22. Seriously, the heat here can be just inhuman, I mean, I don’t know how these people breathe in and out sometimes. I was promised, though, that Melbourne has a ‘four seasons in one day’ reputation and a ‘relatively’ English climate. Well the jury’s still out on that one, but on the way home from the sanctuary my heart leapt when RAIN began to fall. They have rain here! I’ve never been so happy to stand outside, arms outstretched and face to the sky like some evil scientist, getting absolutely soaked to the skin.
I was still in just a Tshirt when I made my first pilgrimage to Richmond, the station serving most of Melbourne’s myriad sporting venues. After a walk round the MCG (more on that later) I entered Hisense Arena, a multi purpose venue forming part of Flinders Park tennis centre, to watch World Cup track CYCLING. Within days of landing I was watching world class sport, and frantically diarising similar treats throughout the year! I’d never been to a velodrome and it was breathtaking stuff. Sadly the much fancied Brits took a bit of a pasting, largely at the hands of home riders, so my lone voice in the crowd became a source of amusement. This was my first excursion alone and I survived!

Sat Nov 21


My first weekend in Australia (hell, my first outside Europe - this really does all feels quite exotic!) saw my first visit to the CITY of Melbourne. First we picked up Sarah’s best friend Little Sarah (I know, I know) who was in England with her, and her boyfriend Farmer John, down for the weekend from the vast open space up state. I also caught up with brother Callum, who visited us in London last year, and met their parents The Cunninghams - pronounced with a ‘ham’ as in Happy Days. We drove into the city, the Sarahs contriving to take a few wrong turns on the way, and finally parked at Crown Casino, a leisure complex on the Yarra’s South Bank. Everything looked very swish and cosmopolitan.
We started at the CINEMA, where of course we had to watch pseudo gothic teen angst fest New Moon, having seen its prequel Twilight together back home. $68 sounded a lot for four tickets, but I’m getting used to the numbers after factoring in the exchange rate. The film, well - and I must state here that I had been pleasantly surprised by the first one - left me relieved to be a grown up! If teenagers knew that, generally, most of us turn out feeling sufficiently comfortable in our own skin not to risk our lives playing emotional pinball with vampires and werewolves then they might just knuckle down, do some homework and maybe get involved in some after school activities! Still, we’ve all been there.
Having done family dinner on Thursday it was time for the FRIENDS version, at Chocolate Buddha on Federation Square. The four of us were joined by Holly, Christian, and Iole - a long standing friend of Sarah’s - and Anthony - pronounced with a ‘th’ as in ‘pretentious’ - whose reportedly splendid Greek Orthodox wedding was the reason Sarah deserted me in August. They were both deliciously engaging, and the Japanese cuisine equally so. In fact it was outdone only by dessert, picked up at a sumptuous patisserie back in Crown. My authentic Australian pavlova was unlike any I’d tried before and I quickly devoured it, while the others’ more substantial cakes were taken home to be finished later.

Sun Nov 22


The last instalment of Part One begins at 2am, with kick off at Burnley vs Aston Villa, available on Fox Sports. After half time monitoring the rugby we salvaged a disappointing but fortunate 1-1 draw and I went back to bed, unable to last through Andy Murray’s three-set defeat of Del Potro in the Masters Cup. I was up, though, to watch Federer beat Verdasco and learn of Scotland’s shock defeat of the Wallabies - and England’s less shocking loss to the All Blacks. A busy day of SPORT ended with a great night watching Collingwood put the Saffers to the sword in the cricket. I’ve accepted that following my wide range of favourite teams and individuals from here will be exhausting at times!
Fear not though - the middle part of the day was put to more broad minded use, as I relinquished coverage of the luge world cup and a particularly close fought squash match to join Sarah and her parents in the Dandenong Hills. The town of Olinda was particularly charming, with a collection of CRAFT and ‘trinket’ shops, ranging from the indigenous to the international, to put Worcestershire’s Jinny Ring firmly in the shade. I may well go back there for some Christmas shopping, while my own wish list includes a calendar of ancient world maps, a boomerang and/or didgeridoo and a genuine kangaroo skin leather cowboy hat, which quite frankly might as well have corks hanging from it.
Still with me? Well done! I want to finish by mentioning the nearby National Rhododendron GARDENS, because Mum would absolutely love it there. I’ve already talked about the eucalypts, and these were present in abundance, towering over a kaleidoscope of rhododendrons, hydrangeas and, well, you know, flowers. After a weekend of rain the acres of immaculately kept flora glistened with a green greener than any green I’ve seen in England’s green and pleasant land, and to cap it all, as we rounded the serene lake where a couple were having their wedding photos taken, I spotted a lyre bird, sitting tamely on a branch just feet (sorry, metres) away from us. This is a really beautiful country - come and visit!

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29th November 2009

Greatblog
Thanks, Paul! Good to know you're happy. Luv Dad
29th November 2009

When the mercuty touches 22 :-)
Obviously, i loved reading you. Take care, and publish as often as you can, Nico
29th November 2009

I've got jet lag just reading it!
Hi ya Paul - all sounds great - couldn't you write in paragraphs? - exhausted trying to read it!!!! Glad you're having a good time - don't try and keep this blog going - you need to just get on with all and send Mum and Dad the odd 'two liner!) Love E P
29th November 2009

Down Under
Glad to see that you are settling in, have the authorities laid in substantial quantities of beer? Best wishes..Bernard
29th November 2009

Hi Paul, great to hear from you on a wet cold winter's day back here in Clent! Glad to hear you arrived safely and that you are being looked after. You'll get used to the heat soon enough. looking forward to further installments.... Clare
29th November 2009

...
Glad you're settling in well mate. Sounds like a brilliant place, you've done so much already! Stay safe... keep happy... and God Bless... ( three dots every time)
30th November 2009

You have actually got me to read my 1st blog! Great to hear your news. We are coming out in March and now I can't wait. Love Tricia
1st December 2009

shades, thongs and metric systems
You seem to be settling in very well mate, really pleased for ya!! Whats the beer like? x
1st December 2009

Great to read someone else's blog for a change! Realise some of mine are very long, though your 2000 words kept me well entertained and they were only over 5 days so on that basis mine aren't any longer its just probably a good idea to keep on top of them so you don't have too much to write about to keep people up to date! Try and add some photos as well mate. Really glad it's all working out so well, have you checked out neighbours night at the Elephant and Wheelbarrow yet? Look forward to hearing more! Miss you.
2nd December 2009

What's the beer like?
It's fine, generally 4.6%, but expensive and not available in a cosy pub environment. Only cider I've seen is Bulmer's... Not really going out out much, but Neill and I get through the VBs in the house - that's Victoria Bitter, available in Walkabout back home. Also there's a weekly front drive party at a mate's house with a fridge full of booze and loads of blokes talking about cars obsessively and lining them up down the street - bit boring, as you can imagine... ToobzInOz
2nd December 2009

Neighbours Night!
Got our tickets for December 21st! Sarah's not quite as excited as I am... Told Amy and Jordan about it but haven't heard back yet. Also got five-day pass for the tennis in the post, haha! Miss you too ToobzInOz
2nd December 2009

Good Luck
Sounds like you're having a great time! From the looks of things you were watching Villa while Kath was giving birth! Just sitting with new arrival Leo lying on my chest, checking out your blog. This is the life!
3rd December 2009

sounds fabulous...
it was really lovely to hear what you've been up to so far and I look forward to the regular updates. Love to you both and God bless! x
4th December 2009

ENJOYED YOUR NEWS
Hi Paul Great to hear you arrived and seem to have settled in without too much diffiulty. We have just returned from Lanzarote enjoying temperatures of 28 - that's hot enough for me. Look forward to more news, but you seem to have seen and done a lot already. Take care Lots of Love David and Joy
7th December 2009

You seem to be surviving!
Amusing blog so far. Whow... you are keeping busy and getting a feel for OZ. I almost feel I'm there with you. Sounds as if you have got a real balance of culture, sport, sight seing and food experiences...not too sure of the correct order! Take care and dont loose your sunglasses. xxx Netty

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