baby breakdown

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well I had a bit of a down day today.

maybe it had something to do with not really having anything to do.

I had a baby breakdown in the bank today... complete with copious amounts of nasal secretions.

I think everything just came to a head - frustrations with the banking system, online crap, not really having my own life or niche yet, not wanting to feel like a leech.

It is kind of a weird thing/feeling to have a friend from home here that welcomes me & shares everything - experiences, home, friends - but to not really have my own place yet in the scheme of things. A mini mid-transition crisis? Likely.

I will say that it is definitely different from my first days in Cape Town. There, there was a schedule of things set up - places I needed to be, introductions that needed to be made, jobs I needed to start - not the sort of aimlessness that I felt at moments today.

oh dear lord, I think laurbar is having a mini crisis of her own right now as I type this, deciding what to wear to work tomorrow as she is a ‘workin girl’ now! hehe

Mum has asked me what I do to fill my days before school starts.
I arrived Saturday morning and went to bed at 5pm that night to sleep through until Sunday morning at 7am. I still didn’t have my bearings about me yet. Laura took me for a small city tour before she returned the rental car that morning.
Monday I still wasn’t feeling like I was in tip-top form but I got up and attacked the rental housing boards at uni and in a local book-shop’s window. I continued with the same on Tuesday and many calls later had a few apartment inspections set up. I went to a few doozies against Laura’s objections. hahaha One of these (for $100/wk) was a fair ways north of the uni and came complete with rotting couches on the front porch. In defense, the guy I talked to on the phone did proclaim “it’s a bit dilapidated - not falling down, but dilapidated.”

Eee-eeew! I needed hand sanitizer after leaving. I hadn’t touched anything. hahaha

That has been the only truly icky place that I have seen. The rest have been decent enough but have not jumped out at me. I have agreed (tentatively) for a cute place in a prime location. I am excited about it in every aspect. The complex is nice and green (plant speak), the whole thing is furnished and bills are included. He’s even got old-school broadband internet running on wires so I don’t have to buy & install a wireless thinger-ma-bob for my computer. The only drawback is that it is not available for another 5 weeks - Mar. 14. I am ok with that. I will find short-term accommodation nearby until then so that I can fully unpack & move in to town!

My girl and I dined and started our ‘frequent noodler programs’ today at a Japanese noodle house and finished off at a divine chocolate café with luscious chocolate mochas. These are not just any chocolate mochas. No inferior ingredients here. Liquid chocolate and espresso. mmmm. Have I mentioned that we are in the Italian enclave here in Carlton? Gelati & pasta places abound.

What else? I have been running - half the time looking at the scenery, the houses; the other half trying to figure out where I am and how to get back to where I came from. A relaxing jog fraught with moments of ‘oh crum, where do I turn now?’

I have set up most of the logistical things that need to be in place for me. Now I just wait, relax & explore until school’s orientation next week. Some other Cdns attending Melbourne Uni are arriving in the next few days. Some of us have been in touch via email and will meet up to say hello. I am looking forward to that.

I had been thinking today about many people mentioning how ‘brave’ it is to move so far, to go to school in another country, how they could never do it, blah blah blah & staring at my sister with a blank face at lunch in response to her question “aren’t you nervous?” “No, what’s there to be nervous about?”

Rest assured, we all have our moments where we come undone.
Perhaps we are fortified by these moments.
We’re just not going to go running, bags packed, return ticket in hand.

I will depart by sharing this:
laura to leah from the bathroom:
- how do you treat a 3rd degree burn?
- you go immediately to the hospital.
- oh. I mean a first degree burn.
tap turns on.

bye! Love to all.

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