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Published: February 7th 2008
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The Crew
on board our floating party boat Adelaide : Local Brew - Tooheys Extra dry or James Boags (Tasmanian beer)
So we finally land in Adelaide after a big last night in Sydney. Adelaide's not really on the backpacker trail but we were there to see our big buddies Smags and Linda and our Godson Liam who emigrated here 2 years ago. Fitton and Helen were also flying from Sydney to Adelaide that day and had got an earlier flight.
Arriving at the airport we disembarked the plane into the searing South Australia heat and made our way through arrivals. I'm still not sure if the heat was from the sun or from Linda sat inside the airport, steam coming out of her ears with excitement. Kelly was exactly the same, a right giddy kipper, chewing her lip nervously as she always does.
Walking towards the baggage claim we noticed a disturbance ahead of us. There were scuffles. People were shouting and women and children were being knocked to the floor...... It was Linda! She'd spotted us and came racing towards us like a bull in a china shop! Panick over and hugs all round. Welcome to Adelaide.
After a short ride in a
Together Again
First night out in Adelaide with Smags, Linda, Fitton & Helen hot car (you can't touch anything inside the car here as it removes the skin from your flesh it's so hot) we arrived at Smags n Linda's new house which is very cool (not just because it has air conditioning and an outdoor jacuzzi... jammy gits!). We gave Liam his presents we had picked up from New Zealand 8 weeks ago and needless to say they all fell to bits within the hour. They don't make toys like they used to! Fitton and Helen had already arrived at the house, let the festivities commence! That night we all went for a few beers and a curry at Glenelg, a small seaside resort nearby. Good laugh.
Next day, Smags n Linda threw a party and invited all their friends round to meet us, their Pommie pals. After a trip to restock the beer fridge and Eskey's (cool boxes) we were ready for the big party. (By the way, they have drive-thru Beer n' Wine shops in Oz. How cool is that?!). Smags was on the Barby and educated me on the fact that nobody actually throws 'Shrimps on the Barby' in Oz. He did a very good job and looked
Musical Instrument
A bit of responsible recycling with used bottles rather fetching (or shall I say 'camp') in his sexy apron. We partied all night, the girls in the jacuzzi drinking Goon and fondling each other under the bubbles (photo evidence!) The lads put on our smoking jackets and the 'smoking hat' we made from an empty beer carton and enjoyed a selection of local brews whilst talking 'Men stuff' and putting the world to rights. Shortly after this, Smags was violently sick all over the new lemon tree in his lovely garden and Fitton collapsed in the kitchen. As usual Frank Spielberg was there with his trusty camera! (sorry lads).
Anybody that knows us has probably already heard about our next few days and Smags' unfortunate episode on the River Murray. We drove to the river early to pick up our rather huge, luxurious houseboat which was to be our home for the next few days. Not kidding, this thing was massive. Mine and Kellys bedroom had a jacuzzi in it! It had 4 big bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, lounge, widescreen TV, outdoor BBQ, swimming deck and huge upstairs deck (and they were going to let us loose with it!?).
After stocking up the ice in the
Smags & Linda
On their back patio beer fridge and a briefing from the owner we set sail. There was 7 of us in all including Liam and we all took it turns at driving the boat. The good thing is, when you want to chill out you simply beach the boat on the shore, tie the boat up to the nearest tree and camp for as long as you like.
We tied up for the first time, put the music on and all took it in turns to launch ourselves off the top deck into the river (video attached). There were hundereds of Cockatoo's nesting around us and huge Eagles and herons soaring overhead, pretty awesome. After a couple of cold beers we set sail again, looking for a place to moor up for the night. Finding what we thought was the perfect spot, I beached the boat on the shore and Fitton and Smags jumped off to tie up the boat. The boat now secured to the trees, the lads walked back through the long grass and jumped back on board. Bad move! Smags looked down at his toe and the colour drained from his face. I looked over and you could clearly see two
Future Olympian??
Professional gymnast in the making puncture marks in the top of his big toe. Snakebite! He started to feel faint and having hot flushes so we got straight on the phone to the owner who told us to turn the boat around and head back to a meeting point back up the river. Having laid Smags down on the sofa and tied a bandage round his ankle best we could we arrived at the meeting point. The owner jumped on board closely followed by a local nurse and then the ambulance crew and paramedics who told us there had been a few near fatal bites in the area recently! After checking the pulse, hooking him up to an oxygen mask and applying pressure to the ankle to stop the suspected poison, we carefully got Smags onto a stretcher and carried him to the ambulance aided by a couple of the locals who had gathered at the shore to catch a glimpse of the slowly dying victim. As we held a vigil on the houseboat, the hours ticked by waiting for news. We were looking after little Liam as Linda had gone with Smags to be with her Husband in his final hours.
Finally we got
Gymnast ?
For sure. the call from the hospital. Fearing the worst, we stood in a circle, all holding hands in heart wrenching anticipation, Linda delivered the news we had been dreading.......
"Nothing wrong with him. He's absolutely sound as a pound. Daft bastard stubbed his toe on a bit of dry grass. What a drama queen!"
What a numpty. Few too many beers I reckon. And he hasn't had the invoice yet from the hospital. Expensive grass cut! My only regret is not getting a photo of him hooked up to the oxygen mask surrounded by paramedics. It wasn't really the time or the place but it would have been a priceless photo. Never mind.
Next few days were a bit less dramatic. Plenty of fishing (not a single bite as usual), swimming, sunbathing, a BBQ which included kangaroo kebabs and I rustled up a famous Spag Bol. Night times were usually spent roasting marshmallows on a campfire followed by drinking games with lots of Goon. Superb few days. (Oh, did I mention that we let Helen drive the boat and she crashed it?! OK then I wont mention it.... sorry Helen!)
After the houseboat Fitton and Helen flew back to England.
Keeping the kids entertained
We did our Blue Peter thing with an empty beer carton We had a few days at a big villa in Normanville with great views of the Adelaide coast and nice beaches and then a few more days back at the house where we ate, drank and got merry. Numerous meals out followed by hours of competition on the Nintendo Wii where I showed Linda who was the the Best of the Best on Tennis!.
Kelly and Linda went out for a few drinks with the girls one afternoon for a few quiet drinks. They turned up back at the house after midnight having been thrown out of a bar by the bouncers for being drunk and disorderly! I can't take her anywhere.
Last day in Adelaide we took Liam to a gymnastic tryout for the South Australia gymnastics team. We have just heard that he has been accepted! Get in there my Son. Everyone watch out for Liam Smith in the Olympics in about 12 years time. That night me and Smags (I know I should say 'Smags and I' but it's just not me!) took ourselves off to the local Firearms Shooting range. Amazing. We fired 4 different guns all in all including a .44 Magnum (which
The lads
with Smags'mates Steve and Mikey Dirty Harry uses) and a Colt .45 pistol. Afterwards Smags was talking about buying his own gun and going back to shoot the sh!t out of the blade of grass that bit his toe.... revenge!
All in all, we had a great time in Adelaide and were really looked after. Nice one Smiths.
Next stop Singapore, the gateway to South East Asia where we meet up with all the lads from Leeds and Jersey in about a week.
Can't wait, it's gonna be crazy, trust me.
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MAM
non-member comment
LOL
Just really brightened up a miserable afternoon in Belle Isle watching Kelly and Linda on the video - did you ever jump in the water Linda? Class blog, keep it up x