Sydney - so soon?

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Well it happened. I came home. I never thought in a million years that my 6 month sabbatical would involve coming back to Sydney. Actually that’s not entirely true – it was in the back of my mind when planning my trip that a benefit of Asia was its closeness to home in fact anything went wrong. More than that, I had a recurring dream throughout my time away that I came home early. Each time, the feeling was the same – failure. My fantasy of going overseas and having the time of my life had turned out to be just that. After all, isn’t it easy to have the time of your life when you’re away? Isn’t that how it works? My friend in Hanoi told me her German friend couldn’t stop talking about how he was having the time of his life when on an extended holiday in Vietnam. You read Eat Pray Love and nowhere in it does she miss being home – each new place is (literally) a new chapter. Anyway, here I am, and I’m not dreaming. I’m in the State Library next to Martin Place. I kind of have to pinch myself that I’m here, in such a familiar place – it wasn’t long ago at all that I felt a million miles away overseas and alone in hotels. And considering the main purpose of my trip was escapism, to get away from reality at home, then it’s even more significant that I’m back.

The main reason I came home is because I was sick. But also contributing to my decision was a) my trip simply wasn't working to plan. I had done next to no study nor did I have the inclination to do more of it. For whatever reason, it just wasn’t happening, b) the idea of basking in my own freedom turned out to be a reality of basking in my own boredom. Spending time in hotels and getting lunch at restaurants by myself just didn't feel as fun as perhaps I imagined, and lastly c) more simply, it was actually pretty cheap to get a flight home, and the cost wouldn't affect my trip at all if I decided to go back overseas next month or so.

Despite this, my mind is a bit confused. I don’t know if because I’m home, I’m expected to do normal routines like go to work and see friends on the weekend, or do holiday type things and plan my next move.

I need to plan something for the next 3 months though. Here’s some things I’d like to do:


• Visit Iceland. Note however that I’m cautious of just landing there without activities planned as I did this in Asia and was really cool for like a month, then kind of got old.
• Do some kind of physical adventure trip. It would basically be hiking and canoeing, possible areas being Madagascar, Himalayas.
• Do some kind of extended road or motorbike trip. It really feels more like travel when you have to move every day, rather than getting a quick flight and just “landing” somewhere. Sitting in a bus or train is far different to sitting in a hotel.
• Do a volunteering holiday. Possible areas are Asia and Africa.
• Buy a motorbike in Sydney. May compel me to stay in Sydney, but would also detract significantly from my travel funds.
• Visit Grandma in Adelaide.


I've also wondered if my taking of a 6 month break, rather than quitting, is showing its bad side here. If I had quit entirely, I would surely have more urgency to prepare more for a next career. I just can’t help falling into this laziness knowing I’ll be able to come back to my job in May. I’m not out of my comfort zone.

Sigh.

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