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Published: March 18th 2007
Bob the builder
Find a random builders hat, grab nearest bouncer, get him to pose for a photo,get him to kiss you=one priceless picture!Hello friends, family, countrymen, commrades etc, its new blog time, this one will cover 3 weeks, not a massive amount has happened but it includes Julie arriving, us getting jobs (and for some-subsequently quitting them), lots of pointless packing of backpacks, paddys day and trips to the tower and cinema, get a cuppa though, its gonna take a while..I can feel you breathless with anxiety so I shall get straight into it..
So first up lets us get into the arrival of a new character in this epic play(for the record, in the event of my demise Tom Cruise is to play me in the movie-we are identical right?!), the other half of Andy, the new woman of the house and heir to the Sheiks throne-Julie, aka Jules! She arrived on Thursday 8th so has been with us nearly a week and a half and so far is surviving well. Jules has the intelligence and quick wit to abuse and mock like one of us, the patience to deal with our bad jokes, lazy attitudes and bloke talk, and more importantly the punch of Mike Tyson to settle an argument. She has therefore settled in well (except when a cockroach
Lightning hitting the bridge
Disclaimer-not my picture! Forget where I got it from though is seen within 5 miles of the apartment-not the biggest fan) and has added to the apartment so we are all getting along swimmingly(speaking of which, did I mention the pool on our roof? oh yes I have to get it in each blog, it rocks!) This new arrival did mean some changes in where we lived and involved me and Gav moving out, well kinda, well not really,well not at all actually, let me explain! The Sheik likes to make decisions and have his way, and he usually does this on my behalf and then tells me afterwards, and so was the case with this. Julie arriving meant it was now 4 of us in our apartment, Jules and Andy sharing a single bed, Gav on the other and me still playing the hobo on the floor (for the blondes out there, a hobo is not an instrument). Plus the loving couple hadn't seen each other for 2 months, and..well how can I put this nicely..there was no loving to be had with me and Gav watching from the sidelines! About the time Jules arrived, Gav was talking to Jane Serenity Scodwather (my more avid readers will recognise her
War of the Worlds!
Disclaimer-not my picture! Forget where I got it from though from Act 5, Scene 2 of my previous blogs) who happened to mention that she was moving into a new place soon which had 2 spare beds..well this was music to Gavs little ears so he duly told her we were interested. I wasn't massively keen on going, I was settled in the apartment, I liked living with the boys and now also Jules, we had everything near by and it was easier for me to get to work from here (more on that later), plus this meant moving to North Bondi which was further away and more to travel, it meant leaving Andy and Jules here, and it also meant having to live with the Scodwather, Hannah and a random geeky looking (I saw a picture and yes I was stereotyping!)guy. However, I was going to go along with it to give the couple some space and time and because if nothing else it was the chance to live in a different part of town, different house and people and therefore more news for my all important blog. However, I definetly wanted to go down and check it out first and indeed the people, before agreeing to move in.
Impressive
Disclaimer-not my picture! Forget where I got it from though So imagine my surprise when sitting in work one day to get a text off Gav telling me-notice that, not asking, telling me we were moving into the new place on the Wednesday and all was agreed!!After giving him some abuse when I got home I agreed to go for the reasons mentioned. But here my little blogettes (my new name for you lot) the story takes a twist..Gav decided to change his mind and cancel the move and stay where we were. Well thats great I hear you scream! I agree, but his timing wasn't exactly the best..Not content with changing his mind in any of the 3 or so days leading up to it, not even the morning that we were going, not even the afternoon. Gavin decides AFTER I have packed my backpack and was in the shower, ready to get out, pick up my bag and walk to the bus, I mean we were talking minutes!!!I hate my backpack, it takes hours to pack, its precision stuff, I have more possessions than many small third world countries, and I'm sure my backpack hates me too, it fights back furiously. So him waiting till we had both
fully packed and had our bags propped up ready to go, before he actally sat there, thought it through and then changed his mind didn't exactly cover him in glory, I nearly covered him in lots of stuff that day but no glory. I was too shocked and gobsmacked to be angry, it was just another Gavy-ism. He is now banned from making any decisions, ever, until death, period, where we are concerned. He has a habit of this kind of stuff, one quick example is that we let him pick the DVD one night and he brought home the most random and amazingly poor film in the world (Vegas Baby, if you want to kill some brain cells, watch it) but then the next night to redeem himself he went and picked a film that was somehow utterly and completely even worse in every sense (Little Man, I will pay you money not to rent this DVD).So Gav is now banned from all forms of decision making, I can sleep easier.
So the next part of the tale is the jobs. After avoiding all things work related for about 6 weeks the inevitable and crushing truth hit me,
Everyone say Oooh!
Disclaimer-not my picture! Forget where I got it from though I need to get a fricking job. Balls. And so the search began, I toyed with all the various forms of jobs (McDonalds were advertising, I thought of returning to my old job for about 0.32 seconds) and eventually decided upon a nice leisurely data entry job, hoping for decent money, laid back work, stress free and decent people. I saw an advert for data entry work for the upcoming state elections, and it was very good money indeed. It was only 5 days work, Thursday to Monday and was 8-4, and the money on the weekends was about 12 pounds an hour so I couldn't fault that, and it was basically processing postal applications for people, checking the addresses matched and where they were going to vote. There wasn't much banter there, it was 40 of us in a massive warehouse with random compters chucked in the middle, but the average age was also about 40 sadly, but I did get lucky in that the computer I had was next to a girl about my age. Before anyone (Chris I'm thinking of you) asks no she wasn't hot and I didn't spend my days flirting, but she was a
very cool girl and we chatted most of the days so the time passed. It was also laid back so I could wear jeans and trainers and listen to my ipod-I could get used to this! The bad part to it was the 8am start and the location-miles away in a suburb, it mean getting up at 6:30am(me!!!!6:30!!!people who know me, imagine me at that time, I have killed people for less than that)catching 2 trains and then a 20 minute walk, I was shattered before I even started each day!! However, the first day was the worst, and pelase indulge me as I have a little rant here...
OK so it was my first day, geting up that early and the hassle with the trains was enough of a shock to the system already. Upon arriving in the suburb (Riverwood) I was told to head straight left and find 100 Belmore Avenue, seems simple enough I thought. I duly headed left and found the Street sign so all was good, it was a long row of shops first, starting with number 252 (or some similar number), a bit of an annoying trek ahead by the looks of it
but no problems. Take a few more steps and check the number, we are on number 256, hmm thats not quite right..ok keep going a bit...a few more shops on and we have the same scenario, im looking for 100, started at 252 and now I'm up to 276, I start work on my first day in 20minutes, a mild panic takes over. So maybe I misheard and she meant right, right? So I turn around and head back down the street and realise that the train station entance sits right on a road junction, I only have two options though, go down the first road where the numbers are going higher or take the only other road that is on a right turn. I take this road and realise that this too is also called Belmore Avenue, and that this shop starts at number 1, so we have 2 roads, both with identical names, going in completely opposite directions. I take a walk down this new Belmore Avenue, the numbers starting low and moving up nicely, a spring in my step and more confidence, I'm even singing loudly to my ipod. After 10minutes or so I reach number 100
Belmore Avenue, its a normal everyday house, I am on the wrong fricking Belmore Avenue!!!! Its 5 minutes to 8 on my first day and I am lost in God knows where, mild panic moves to hsyteria. I run. I run aqwardly trying to read the address off the email she set me to double check, I sweat, I curse, I hate the jeans I am having to run in, I nearly get hit by 25 cars, old women walking on the pavement look at me with distain and I think I sensed some sympathy, maybe they were late on their first day also back in 1922. I reach the junction again, I run to the shops, yes I am right, the numbers go upwards and start at 250 and I need 100, nothing for it, lets run down here and see what happens. Sweat and tiredness have now given way to diziness, nasuea and cursing like a tourettes sufferer. I reach the end of the shops at 290 something and see that the houses then begin, the first number? 248....so the shops start at 250, they go up in numbers heading right to left to 296, and then the
Hyde Park and the Church
The big screen was in front of the church on Australia Day, where we sat and got drunk! houses start on 248 and go downwards..what type of ass backwards, non sense making, designed to infuriate, pi*s poor street planning is that?!? I still didn't hold out masses of hope because for all I knew this 100 Belmore Avenue was also going to be a normal house too, I was now cursing and indeed probably looking like the girl from the Exorcist. I gave up runing, I had lost about 256 litres of water through sweating(running in jeans in early morning sun is not a good idea) and I was contemplating going home even if I found the place. As I neared 100 a massive retail park came into sight-the warehouse was in here. Outside I found 3 other random people, all looking lost, confused and sweaty and discovered that they too couldnt find it and had taken the wrong road and also turned around when they saw the shop numbers. Funnily I even recognised the one guy as being the man I sprinted past on the other Belmore Avenue, he had found it to be a house and was making his way back up!!We therefore all arrived 30minutes late on our first day, me looking pale, sweaty, panting
and barey able to breathe, a bit like a gimp in a sauna (it just came to me!). Apparently lots of people got lost and were late though so it was no drama. But the Riverwood street planning people will be having a strongly worded letter off me by God!!The contract ended on the Monday and I now have more work starting soon, this time it is for the real election so its 2 weeks straight, working every day and for even more money, 20 pounds an hour at some stages. The work starts at 7:30am though so have to be up even earlier!!A good chance to rake in some money though. I gt lucky for that work, had to pass a speed and accuracy typing test (very hard, 9000numbers per hour and 98% accuracy in the test needed!!)I failed this test 4 time(hey it was very hard, I type stupidly fast and still couldn't get it!)But I had my backup on my side, the charm and flirting!! Luckily I had already flirted quite shamelessly with this girl before taking the first test, so upon failing I hoisted my trousers up, swallowed my pride and flirted like a sailor on
Gav and his socks on Paddys Day
A good idea at the time,Paddys day socks, but the shorts meant we couldn't get in the club!! leave to get another test. Either it worked or they were desperate because she let me do it 5 times (the test that is, minds out of the gutter please people) and eventually passed, thank god!so that starts next Monday, it is only for 2 weeks but I should earn loads in that time, which is nice, and then find more work after that, hopefully through the same agency.
Sticking with the job theme I must mention Gav, who as ever has done himself proud. He was the first one to get a job (remember they hired him even after swearing down phone and getting lost)and he had high hopes of it being the best ever and of making millions. He lasted 5 days.He didn't make one single sale (door to door stuff) and so quit, his dreams in ruins. Oh but Gavin had a backup, he isn't so easily beaten, he got another job straight away, in a call centre on the phones completing surveys. Easier work he said, great money, no stress, I can't wait to start. He lasted one day. No drama, he got back on the inernet and applied for more jobs, he got a call
The happy gay looking couple
Scarily I have lots of pictures like this,hmm.. straight away-handing out fliers in Sydney, easy he said, decent money, I can do that no problems, can't wait, see you in the morning. He didn't even get out of bed for that one. So he is 3 jobs down and has worked about 6 days, impressive. His next plan is to be an electrician (he is one at home) I am keenly waiting for the outcome of this one.
Soooo this is a long blog, I've been sat here ages, my bum is numb, gimps in sauna's spring to mind again (a very random comment, I'm having that, mine-Chris). Not too much left to tell, we have had some cinema trips, one as a 3sum and a gay date with me and Gav to see the Bra Boys (see Act 3 of blog for that, or maybe 4, I forget).We have also been up the Sky Tower in Sydney so lots of nice pics which don't do the views justice but I have attached piccies anyway. Thunder and lightning storms here also look amazing and we had a massive one last week-folks I was on the phone to you remember?well check out the pics(before I get sued I
The irish trio
Just for the record,Andy on left,Gav on right and our new arrival Julie :) must state I did not take the photos but borrowed them from the internet!),but still I risk life and limb to chat to you people!!The only other thing left to mention is St Paddys Day, seeing as this country and especially Bondi is seemingly 97% Irish I was expecting big things, but was a massive anticlimax-I blame Gav. Saturday was Paddys Day so we had a general plan all week of getting to the local pub early-get in before 12 and you got a free t-shirt woo! Have some food and drinks, then head into Sydney centre where there was a parade, watch that and then get drunk in the night, perfect. So then for some reason the decision was made to go out on the Friday night, get totally wasted and die of a hangover for the entire next day, thus ruining Paddys Day. The weather was bad and literally rained on our parade, so we stayed in the room all day cursing the bad decision of going out the night before. We didn't go out till midnight on Paddys Day, saw Ireland win but not win 6 Nations (Wales beat England wooooo but I didn't see it)and came
Straight right
Gav catches me with a good un.. home by 4 because Gav couldn't get in a club as the fool had shorts on!Worst Paddys day ever!!! The night before was really good though to be fair and worth it,I really don't remember massive parts of the nights as it was very drunk and messy but a great laugh and lots of randomness, some I can tell, some that can forever never be spoken, but all fun.
OK so thats it people for this latest installment, hope you are all still enjoying the read, feel free to leave comments HINT HINT!! Sorry to all those out whose lives I am ruining-Ryan Mcgee I am thinking of you here, it seems he is letting his business go by spending too long online reading my blogs!Get to work!! But some lives out there I am enriching (or so I like to think!)as I have had many messages from my teaching people out there saying it wastes a good PPA session to read my blog so I hope this kills another hour of non teaching time for you!Usual hello's out there to all my family and friends back home home, hope you are all well, missing you and thinking of you and also the randoms! My blogs have been read a combined 1100 so far so you love me, you really love me!!!
Take care everyone
Mike
xx
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Sarah-Jane
non-member comment
More bans?
So glad it's not just me you ban from doing stuff. Loved the late on first day to work too...ahh fond memories of you turning up in much the same happy condition to school. Missing you still. xxx