Airport Fun (in a sarcastic font)

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While I am working on getting everything I need for my trip, I figured I would tell everyone about some of my interesting airport or airplane stories.

I dont know if its my good looks or my great personality, but people seem to have health problems around me. One time I was waiting for my next flight in New York and was surrounded by doctors from India when a 90 plus year old man started having serious medical issues nearby. All the doctors quickly got up to help out a few sections over when an elderly black lady came up and sat in the empty seats. I tried to politely tell her people were sitting there that they were just helping out but she could have my seat (I really only had good intentions). She looked around and saw all the empty seats and then gave me a mean look so I just sat down. Right away I realized I knew this women from somewhere. She kinda looked like Maya Angelou. 20 minutes went by and the doctors never came back and the lady kept looking at me with a look that said "what kind of human would tell an elderly lady to get out of her seat when nobody else is around." How could this get any worse? At that point, three college students went up to the lady and said, "Dr. Angelou, we saw you speak last year and would love your autograph." Thats right, I told one of the most important civil rights activists and best poets in history to get out of her seat. I would like to take this time to congratulate Maya Angelou for be awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom (the highest award for a U.S. civilian) this month.

A less interesting story of another health issue someone had occurred during the second hour of a 12 hour flight from New York to Tel Aviv, Israel when I man started having symptoms of a heart attack when the pilot asked for any doctors to help out. The plane started dumping fuel to make an emergency landing but the man was doing better and we then got back on course to Tel Aviv.

Now for the other interesting aspect of my travels is airport screening. I am openly against the body scanners and pat downs the way they are applied at the moment. The TSA says their is only a 3% chance of getting picked for additional screening. Somehow, 10 of my last 13 flights in the US I have been picked for additional screening. That is well over the 3% chance they claim. I wouldn't mind the screening so much if it applied to everyone. For the record, I refuse the body scanners due to the abuse that has already been shown to happen and I elect to have the pat down if I have to. One time, after I already made it through security and was eating at Burger King, a TSA agent approached me and told me to follow him for more questioning, to be fair, he did allow me to bring my food though. They questioned me about my past travels and on my current trip for 5-10 minutes. I asked why I was pulled out for this and they said I looked nervous going through security and a supervisor requested they find out more. While I was kinda upset at the time, mainly cause this was one of the first times something like this happened to me, I guess I would rather the TSA continue to do this rather then ignore those signs. I respect the TSA agents for the hard job they are asked to do, I just wish it was applied better.

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[D MJ Binkley]

I imagine Maya thought you were nuts
Your intentions were pure.